There is so much I never told you, and probably never will.
I'm scared that I'll never get out of this mess.
I'm scared that I'll never find my true love.
I'm scared that my future won't be as bright as I imagine it to be.
I'm scared that I'll never be strong enough to save anyone.
I'm just scared, okay?



No, I'm not okay.
I need you to stop thinking you understand me.
I need you to stop acting like you know everything.
Because you'll never understand,
and you never really cared.

everytime you swallow;;
do you get the taste of what you've become?

with a soft chuckle and a hidden grin, let's start this game again.

Things that happened yesterday:
- It snowed.
- It got sunny five minutes later.
- I procrastinated on my homework.
- I painted a rose (it's beautiful :D)
- I saw Gabriel.
Things that happened today:
- I tried to play badminton (tried)
- I saw Gabriel (yes, he is worth listing again because he brightens up my day )
- I ate healthier.
- I weigh 115 pounds
- I'm missing church because my mom wants me to go to swimming practice.
Things that are happening tomorrow:
- If it snows, hopefully no school.
- If it doesn't snow, school. Plain and simply.
- And if it doesn't snow I get to see Gabriel, so I win either way.
- Last day of school till Tuesday. Four day weekend.

ICONS AND QUOTES :)

I made the poem at the end and all the quotes in this post.



you walked by without saying a word
i was almost sure you heard
my heart beating in morse code
'I love you.' 



Baby, you make me smile so easily
Honey, you got me full of butterflies
Sweety, you've got me wrapped around you're finger
Darling, you don't even know
You'll be the death of me.

I can’t think of what to say
I’ve ran myself dry trying to find a way
to express myself a little more
what are words anymore?
swwpjarthgwenmoirqrcflk
just try and make some sense out of this
I’m thinking thoughts of rhythms or beats
I’m not understanding this defeat
 I’ll erased five words
and write three more
till my fingertips
are numb and sore
where is the meaning to all of this?
This is who I am today
and tonight at 12 I’ll lay
myself to sleep
just dreaming of a new start
to put words and love back into my heart.
Where is expression?
It’s on the canvas of my eyelids.

It’s in the dreams I dream at night
and don’t remember in the morning
It’s in God’s creation
just look around at the light
It’s written on your face

When you smile
It’s in that last destination
In that last stretch of a mile
It’s in the things we don’t even see
But believe, just believe
It’s more than words
It’s who we are.

comments me make happy :)

letting go. (breaking habits, building control)

Last Sunday I was riding in Melissa's car. It was pretty quiet except the radio. I was happy, I was content. I love church, I love God. I love my friends and I can say that I even love some strangers. We can to a red light and I watched people in their cars as they came to a stop or flew by. I watched their expressions. I looked around and a guy driving a car went past us, staring at me as I stared at him. He had a strange expression on, as if he was trying to figure me out. Maybe that's the same expression I had on, too. After he past I kept thinking about him till the way home. I wondered what his life what like. Did he have a family? Where was he going? Was he having a good day? What did he think about all day? I just kept thinking, and thinking, and thinking till I got to my house. I don't know this guy and yet that simple eye contact made me feel connected to him, concerned about him. I praed for him and went into my house. I started to think about all my friends, my family, the strangers in my school. Were they all okay? Did they need someone to be there for them?

Maybe I should be more interested in people. About their lives and thoughts and hopes and aspirations.
I think I should, that would make me feel a bit more whole.

So, how are you all doing? :)

I woke up today (and everything was fine)

It's time for a fresh start.

New Year Resolutions
1. Be closer to God.
2. Finally get to 100 pounds.
3. Start Running.
4. Be more outgoing and confident.
About #2, That's only about 15 pounds away  

We were standing so close
I swear you could hear my heart beating
'I love you' in morse code.
-Me.

The songs that he writes
Are too personal
He cant play them for anyone
-The Lovesong Writer by Thursday

Pose for me now
You're the broken heart
You're the sigh in the back of the throat
And on the other side
You're the queen of spades
You're the sound that she makes on her way
-The Lovesong Writer by Thrusday

When hes all alone, the lovesong writer sings
Ooooh
Can anyone, hear me now?
But no one hears at all
The lovesong writer sits all alone
When he hears the sound of the knock at the door

50 red roses, falling apart
In the hands of someone that you scraped in and left behind
All of the others strolled up and showed up at your door
Staring you down, they said:

Sing for me, sing for me, sing for me now
Sing for me, sing for me, sing for me now
We already are
-The Lovesong Writer by Thursday
 
Well, it's 2008
So wave goodbye to all the
days you've left behind
this is a new beginning
this is our sunrise.
-me.

Happy New Year's Eve,
Have Fun :)