Asking

I went to a thing at HOPE Church tonight and a million people from my parents' past were there.  There is so much going on in my life right now that I want to write, but it is so hard to articulate everything.  I had several good conversations with people who have walked miles and miles longer on this earth than I have.  The first had to do with me sharing the season I'm in right now, which seems to be a time to learn how to function in closer community than ever before.  With a roommate for the first time, and a serious boyfriend for the first time, it's a huge change for me.  What is the lesson I'm learning?  I am a very prideful and selfish person.  The first conversation I had helped me realize what perspective I should approach my weakness with: that the old is gone and the new is come.  I really need to work on catching myself as soon as I begin thinking sinful thoughts and turning to scripture in the moment.  In addition, it is such a tendency to make excuses for selfish thinking, believing that I deserve to be treated in a certain manner.  This is not true!  I want to work on memorizing parts of Romans 6. 

I am currently trying to help advise Breakthrough on how to formulate more structure into our ministry positions and the life of the church in general (a task I feel totally unqualified for).  My second conversation was more of me asking questions of a guy who is older and would know.  He really changed my perspective, and I am still processing what the implications of this will be.  Praise God for that!  I am not sure why, but the Lord sees fit to have me in the position I am in, and my goal is to embrace it.  All glory be to his name.

My fish has cancer and is going to die.  I didn't do well in my classes this semester.  I don't know where I will live next semester.  I have been stressing out about these things and life in general.  Today, however, I make a public statement of the fact that God has a plan and purpose in everything that he is doing in my life right now.  I trust him.  I am ready to receive his peace as I put my trust in him.  Ahhhhhhhhh.

Today I woke up at 6:30am and went to school where I took 2 tests and a quiz.  Then I took a nap in the 5th floor of the library (it's not the first time and it won't be the last.  Handy that I had a blanket in my car too).  After that I went to work and trained someone on how to close the store and didn't get out on time and got home at 11:45 all wired up.  Since then I've been wading through emails.  Some thoughts:

I had to throw away Jacob's roses today because they were wilting, boohoo!

Tomorrow I am taking myself shopping for...work clothes (this is more exciting than it seems since the very idea of shopping is exciting to me).

Tomorrow I am getting a haircut (watch out world, here I come!!!).

Tomorrow is the worship night!  Praise God!

Okay, I am finally sleepy, good night!