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| christmasyou know what's the most absurd thing about me and maintaining multiple blogs? the fact that i feel the need to put different content on each one--that is, i never put the same thing on two places. i don't know why--i figure there are some people who read everything so they don't want to have repeats. but then there are some like chico, i mean parrilla that only read this so then they miss out on other things. anyways, so i think i'm going to repeat things now. but then i might not repeat everything, argh, forget it. i'm such a loser.
so today bc it's christmas and bc i believe i related this story somewhere else, i'm going to rerelate the story.
sn--i went to go check on whether i related the story here last year so checked my archives, and man, i used to update a lot more last year. maybe it's facebook's fault. or the fact that i have no good internet connection. or i'm lazy. or things in china are less interesting. stop, dave.
anyways, as you know if u read about it last year, i'm not a fan of Christmas. i can say the name now since this whole site is blocked in china. and really, christmas is becoming a global secular holiday which is another interesting entry in of itself.
but yeah, i'm not a fan of the holiday for whatever reasons--i just think there's no biblical basis for any of the traditions or iconography of the season. like there is no justification for three wise men. why not two? why not six? or angels looking like they always do. in fact, the fact that usually angels look cute in christmas plays is not supported by the text where the shepherds were terrified. not sure they'd be terrrified of cute little kids dressed all in white with a little shiny halo on their head.
the other thing i think that is key, is the family. i'm pretty sure me and my brothers stopped getting presents about the time i entered junior high school. i think after that it was always money, which is great but really, nothing sentimental about receiving money. like all my teammates asked me today, so, what did you family and friends send you for christmas? huh? yeah, didn't get anything, didn't expect anything, so yeah, got nothing. really, i'm fine with that because that's what i know and that's what i understand about the season anyways. not a huge fan.
which finally brings me to the point of this entry--my worst day in china last year BY FAR. i mean, i've pretty much loved everything about everything but last year, i had one horrible day...and that day was Christmas.
so you know a few weeks before our team starts talking about Christmas plans. i'm the new person, so i'm not going to say anything. just gonna shut my mouth and go along with the herd. well the herd says that we are going to be buying presents for every person on our team. and the herd also says that on christmas morning this random chinese couple will be celebrating christmas with us.
they aren't "random" but they aren't team members. they were good friends of a few of my teammates so they thought that it was natural to invite them since they are also Family members. well, fine, i guess for me, but honestly, i don't really know them so i didn't really think anything of it.
so anyways i'm like, eh whatever. i know i have to buy christmas presents for everyone but i don't really think a lot about it. i get this "brilliant" idea to just find stupid movies off the internet from torrents, burn them each copies of different movies, and that's their present. i don't think i even wrapped it up. total cost to me: 20 yuan for the cost of the blank dvds, which is around 3 bucks.
one of my teammates who is married wanted to surprise his wife and asked me to go buy him a coffee maker at the local import store. whatever, right? so i go about four weeks before, pick out some random coffee maker, store it in my apartment until the day of.
so christmas finally rolls around. we gather together to exchange gifts. people have bought each other the most elaborate gifts. stuff sent from the states, stuff easily over 100 yuan per gift. i got a new bedding set from one person, and another person gave me THREE gifts including a powerpoint presentation.
oops. maybe shoulda put some more time, thought, money into my gifts.
my teammate opens the coffee maker and we discover that the carafe is missing. so pretty much a worthless gift. had i just opened the box to check it would have been all resolved. but nope, didn't do it. note to anyone out there reading--whenever you buy anything in china, make sure it works before you take it home. it's absolutely crucial and it's not weird to just open it up there and plug it in and see that it works. in fact, i think it's the norm.
so i feel horrible because it's my fault. she was looking forward to it and then boom, nothing.
and then i realize that the random chinese couple is also receiving gifts from everyone on the team. not only that, they are giving gifts to everyone on the team, including me. i didn't put two and two together. when it was decided that we are giving gifts to everyone on the team and random chinese couple is coming, that that meant that i was supposed to give something to them too. that's just my idiocy.
so that awkward moment came when i have to hand out my gifts, and they received nothing. AWKWARD AND HORRIBLE.
anyways, i felt like total crap. it was like strike one, two and three. all for some holiday that frankly i don't really like anyways. just trying to go along with the herd and i got bit.
i think i said this before though but all of this was completely internal. except for the chinese couple who probably hate me and i'm like forever indebted to them for not bringing them a gift when they gave me one. like i said last year, one of the insights i learned into white culture is that white people have no sense of "the right way to act". there are no behavioral protocols for the most part. i know someone is going to say i'm wrong and look at this and that, but whatever. i'm not talking logically or evidentially, i'm just speaking as an asian-american. it's one of the insights i learned living and working with white people. you can do whatever you want in whatever situation, and you aren't going to be judged as wrong. white people just think, okay, well, whatever you want to do, that's fine.
so in a sense, in their eyes, i don't think they would think i did anything wrong. it's just "okay, dave's thing is giving crappy dvds. that's cool."
but in my asian/korean/weird way, i can't help think about reciprocity, burdens, and debt. i felt completely humiliated because obviously my gifts were waaay cheaper and waaay less thought out than others. i felt so stupid and guilty and shamed. classic asian words.
i dunno, like i've said before, i'm pretty sure asian americans celebrate christmas as much as whites do. but for some reason i've managed to avoid that or maybe i've only received small gifts (if any) from my asian american friends, so i didn't really nkow that white people just put these huge expectations on christmas.
so anyways, i left that get together as quickly as possible and got on a bus, and went all the way back to the import store with the crappy coffee maker. i had no receipt but i begged and begged in my crappy chinese and finally they gave me a carafe absolutely free of charge.
so yeah, horrible negative energy from christmas. not a big fan of the holiday, not a big fan of the random celebrations or gifts or expectations.
merry christmas everyone!
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| ?i can't believe how many people commented on my last story. it's achieved this viral status here in china it's mystifying. really, i just think with white people, you say the word "poo" and they giggle like school girls. absolutely mystifying.
i dunno, looking back at my entries, i think the last one that got so many comments and interest was like 10 years ago when i talked about ANH and ESB when TPM first came out (and no, i'm not going to tell you what those letters stand for. if you don't know, you don't deserve to know.) goes to show you how much the internet has changed in 10 years.
anyways, it's fascinating what i'm famous for in different circles. college people i'm definitely famous for calling the elders. chicago people i'd have to go with triple t (although triple t was big in college too), and i guess in china it's the poo story. absolutely mystifying.
btw my hair is definitely grown out now. i should post a pic but too lazy.
the worst part of this year with bad internet is not knowing anything about movies and pop culture. i'm definitely at a loss as to what movies to get. i'm relying pretty much on dennis, who has similar tastes as i do. i think we've both said that we share a love for roger ebert. anyways, i had to go out and buy dvds today because i can't download them from the internet anymore. i bought a bunch of movies that are really old that i still haven't seen, like 300, grindhouse, knocked up, die hard 4. i was looking for shoot em up but they didn't have it.
i'm currently rewatching battlestar galactica and really, i can't say enough at how amazing it is. the first five episodes of season 3 are just mind blowing in their amazingness.
take that china! i've bored you all to death so now you all will go away again and it'll just be me, steve, dennis, and anthony. | | |
| poo storymight as well say what this is about right up front for those non-koreans who think poo stories are disgusting.
so last week i'm teaching a class. each class is broken up into two 50 minute periods. now halfway into the first class i feel the oh so nice uncomfortable feeling when you have to go to the bathroom. i think, eh, i'll take care of it during the break.
well, during the break i was talking to a student and so the break ended without having time for me to go. so the feeling is getting worse and worse and i'm like, um, what do i do? should i just stop class and say, everyone hold on for a second while i run to the bathroom?
i think that would have been possible. however, one thing in china, none of the bathrooms have toilet paper. so i mean i'd have to say, "hey class, can you hold on for a second? by the way, can i borrow some toilet paper?" way too much shame invovled so i decide to bite the bullet and just try to suck in the feeling for the next 50 minutes.
bad idea. about 20 minutes into the class i'm trying to teach but all i'm really doing is concentrating all my might will and strength to stopping that anal sphincter muscle from doing its job. so like i'm sort of half clenching my teeth while i try to describe the nuances between the pronunciation of the short i and long e sound.
finally, i mean, it's over. i mean i know i can't make it another minute. so i have the students work together in pairs for an activity and then i casually go up to a student and say, "do you have tissue paper?" he didn't quite understand me so he hands me a sheet of notebook paper. at this point the feces are literally about burst out. but i calmly say, no, not that kind of paper. tissue paper. after what seemed like eternity he hands me one little square of tissue paper, the kind you'd find in one of those small kleenex packages you can carry in your purse.
whatever, i don't care. i'm just focused on getting to the bathroom as soon as possible. so i almost run out of the classroom, down the hall to the bathroom.
well, you know what happens when you try to run. you are focusing your mental energy on balancing your legs and so your mind goes off sucking in that sphincter muscle so what do you know, whammo, i lost control.
well, that wouldn't be too bad a story except that it was diarrhea. so it's not just losing control where you can suck it back up and deal with minor consequences, oh no, this stuff is now all over my underwear and butt.
so i get to the squatty toilet, release the rest of it and now, i mean, what the heck am i supposed to do? my underwear is totally trashed. there is diarrhea all over my butt. and i have one little tiny square of tissue to somehow solve this problem. i felt like macguyver.
so i mean i tried to economize the little square as much as possible. but really, there was no way i could clean everything up, right? and you have to appreciate the absurdity of the situation. remember i'm squatting this entire time too. hilarious.
so now, i've got crap all over my hands, my underwear is a mess, my butt is a mess, and, i have to go back into the classroom and teach. i have to retuck in my shirt and so now my shirt is getting feces all over it. and did i forget to mention that china doesn't believe in soap? so there are faucets but no soap. so even though i wash my hands with water, i mean, the smell isn't going away. so i'm walking back into class smelling like ass and diarrhea. luckily this is china so really, it doesn't change the general smell in the air.
so i finish the class, feces now basically covering my entire butt, underwear completely disgusting. i go back to the my office, get some more tissue paper and bring my water bottle to the bathroom. i proceed to use the water bottle to "clean" the diarrhea off of my butt but again really, no soap anywhere so it's not really doing anything. how do i clean it? one hand holds the water bottle behind my back, as i'm squatting, pouring water down my anus while the other hand just wipes as much as i can. so that hand i mean is totally and utterly foul. sort of do the same technique with the underwear but at least now i've got some tissue to i dunno, soak up the loose feces.
afterwards i put all my clothes back on, get on my bike, ride into town to run some errands. you gotta love china.
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| heroes is betternot that anyone cares, but i liked this week's episode. i'm not sure what it was about it (spoilers abound). perhaps it's the good old superheroes formula of the worst bad guy being the good guy's best friend. i like that. i hate the fact that someone went into the future, and then there was a disaster in new york city, and now they have to spend the next few months figuring it out. i hate that claire is the important person again. i like how horn rimmed glasses is back to being a bad guy. i never trusted him as a good guy anyways.
and i like how they mentioned lyle bennet again. oh yeah baby. | | |
| heroes is starting to suck toomaybe spoilers. i don't really care.
you know, heroes is starting to suck. my teammate put it best--last year there was a purpose. what are they doing now? nothing. there are so many gaping holes that it just is starting to piss me off.
why did the company leave sylar alone with candance in the middle of mexico? they knew how dangerous he was. absolutely stupid.
and why does mohinder continue to use a cell phone on company premises to talk to mr. bennett? can u be more stupid? i don't even understand the whole mohinder / company thing. didn't he start working for them last year? wasn't all the crap last year with him, mr. bennett and matt parkman caught on film? so now, suddenly they think he's not working with mr. bennett? stupid.
and what happened to nathan? and peter? and hiro is just annoying.
so anyways, i'll give it about two or three more episodes and then i'm stopping it too. actually, i was never really that big of a fan despite what i've said here. i was just trying to piss off lost fans.
the only reason i'm going to continue watching is to keep updating the heroes wiki. i've got an obscure expertise--lyle bennet. i pretty much wrote all of this. i'm such a loser. | | |
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