weLL... you see... i find myseLf quite confused...
famiLy... i feeL Like i have no famiLy... onLy because come to hear it from my parents... my aunt goes about saying that she reLLie didn't want to have anything to do with us and that (this is when my mom got in a car accident) if she got in an accident that it was her own business... so now my mom is angry and my dad is too... mostLy because no one can watch my brother and my grandma can't and that he says that, "why does she have to the time to take care of them when she never reLLie wanted to take care of my chiLdren" i guess my grandma was reLuctant to watch me when i was a kid... but i don't reLLie remember that...
i aLso have some famiLy that teLL me that they want to make pLans with me and that they want to catch up with me and that they'LL caLL me tomorrow or something of the sort... and most of the time they don't bother because they either forgot or are just too busy for me... when they just don't care... or so it seems... i've Lost contact with my famiLy...
friends- don't seem to have most of those... it seems that most kinda try to avoid me... either that or they yeLL at me or get angry with me cause i go about caLLing someone something that is apart of their LittLe joke when in fact it is kind of mean... they think that they'LL get in troubLe or the person wiLL hate them... weLL... that not true... he's known... he DOESN'T CARE... and i don't either~!! it just makes me made... or you have the other friends where they get together with some of their other friends and act compLeteLy different when reunited with their buddies~!! ag~!! but otherwise... when their buddies aren't there... THEN..... they are aLL nice and dandy... but yeah... that's about it...
oh... then you have SCHOOL... how much more stressfuLL can it get... you have to worry about coLLege apps. and the schoLarships... and more apps. and you have to work extra hard to get a good grade and kiss ass... then you have the teachers who don't give you fuLL credit for something and that is practicaLLy a bitch who doesn't reLLie do anything but gives test and taLks...
money is another issue... i'm broke and it's around christmas... i owe money to someone and i don't know how the heLL i'm going to do this aLL... then i'm gonna get scoLded for Later of just thinkin of myseLf and that i don't think of others and that i'm seLfish cause i didn't get anything for anyone eLse... WELL BULL...
i just want to vent a LittLe... i don't want sympathy... but i phind that writting things down heLps... and by doing it this way... the peopLe who i am taLking about wiLL hopefuLLy come to reaLize how much they can hurt someone with their words... | 
