It seems wherever I go I see a sense of desperation and hope in humanity. Look at art. Its all a sense of what we could be. We all beleive that if we try hard enough, we can become better than what we are, becuase without that sense of hope, we would drown in our own sorrow and desperation.

Well, in the immortal words of Goerge Carlin, fuck hope. Thats right, FUCK HOPE. From what I know, we've had more than ten thousand years to get our act together as a species. Thats more than enough time. I've learned humanity has been fucked people. Its been fucked and its been fucked for a long time.

For those of you with sharper acuity, you may have noticed something about this post and the last one.

Thats all I've got to say today

'till next time

Sayonara

Something I found, and would like to share with everyone:

The Paradox Of Our Time 

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less; we plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes, but lower morals; we have more food, but less appeasement; we build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication; we've become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology has brought this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or to just hit "Skip Ahead"...

'till next time

Sayonara

Currently Gaming Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell Chaos Theory By UBI Soft see related

Its Martin Luther King Jr. Day

Besides that, I feel nothing meaningful can be said from me today. Well, maybe this:

A funny thing happened in my Bengali class. My entire Bengali class found out that I'm not Muslim. I did'nt want to say anything, but this one kid decided to explain for me. It was amusing, because he said that the reason I was not muslim is because I'm too lazy to do any of the prayers(he asked me once if I was too lazy to do the prayers, and I said sure), and that I believe my "precious facts"(there is only one fact: that in the end there are no real facts at all) are superior. One kid said that no matter what I shall always be muslim. Another started questioning as to how I came to be. I said my parents f***ed. Then they said how they came to be. I said their parents f***ed. Then they asked me how they all came to be in the beginning. I gave them the scientific explanation: we evolved from apes. And what is the response? Sneers. Laughter. Name-calling. One of them called me a fag (I have absolutely no idea why he would think it was gay at ALL). And then they asked me how the universe began, and before I could answer, the same kid who was "explaining" why I'm not muslim said (quite sardonically I might add) "the Big Bang"? I say sure, thinking that's one view. What I found funny was how they proceeded to laugh at the title "Big BANG" and the concept of the universe being created from "thin air" (if you did not notice, consider the irony in that statement). I had to stop from laughing. Seriously.

You know, I was surprised. I expected them to avoid the issue under the basis that they might understand. I guess I was wrong.

I guess they don't understand that the only reason they are Muslim is because they have given themselves a reason that they have not come to terms with. This reason, like all that is human, is imperfect and probably meaningless. So, for anyone who ever questions me again about why I left Islam, understand why you are whatever you are, before you even begin to try to understand me.

But who knows, I might be wrong. There is only one absolute truth, and that is there are no absolute truths in the end. It is puzzling, for it is perfect and imperfect at the same time, if you really think about it.

'till next time

Sayonara

Currently Reading Nigger : An Autobiography By Dick Gregory see related

Well this has been a hell of a week so far. Just finished a three page essay from scratch. Had to look all over the 'net for examples for a Jimmy Carter essay.

It also looks like I might have lost a friend today.

Hopefully he will think about what I said if he reads this.

Oh, a thought came to me the other day. It was about Intelligent design. I've heard many religious people (conservatives) have been backing it as an alternative to Darwin's Theory of evolution. Now, being an agnostic, my first thought was that Intelligent design was creationism in a cheap suit. I got rid of that, thinking that it IS possible that the universe was created by some intelligent being. But then I also started thinking, is it possible to prove this theory with the scientific method? Of course, any theory is plausible, as long as it can be proven with that method. I was wondering how they would do that, and I decided that they would find out eventually. But it didn't feel right. I wasn't satisfied with that answer. Something felt wrong about why conservatives would advocate the intelligent design theory. A flaw in their arguments that I couldn't recognize at the moment at the moment. And then it struck me. The people who advocate intelligent design (ID) argue that the complexities of the universe are so because an intelligent being designed it. Possible, yes. It would take an incredibly intelligent being to create such a thing. But our universe has design problems. Everywhere. Life on this planet is at such great risk of a cataclysmic end that it is amazing we have come this far. Black holes, large solar flares, world killing meteorites, the sun's finite life, etc. Obviously, this universe is heavily flawed. And since it is flawed, then whoever created this universe has to have had had a limit to its intelligence. According to the Bible, I'm sure, God is ALL-KNOWING and PERFECT. Based on the ID theory, this means that logically, an imperfect universe is the result of an imperfect God. God is supposedly perfect. Why would God make mistakes? The answer is, only if God was imperfect. Therefore, Intelligent Design, a theory created by conservatives, essentially undermines their beliefs. ID basically disproves the Bible. By advocating it, they are killing their own faith (laughs).  

Well, its just a thought.

'till next time

Sayonara

Please don't read the following if your here just to give props. I needed an outlet for some feelings. And this was one way. By the way, do not make the mistake of confronting me about it. Ever.

I feel numb. Yet I still feel the pain.

I cannot feel the wound in humanity as I once could. I could not care to even try. I am dead to it, as it is dead to me.

Right now, the only thing I feel is the pain that comes from my own desires. And the humiliation of being blind towards humanity is taking its toll. I feel petty. Pain in pain.

I feel as if the very fabric of my being is tearing apart into oblivion. In its place, sits a void I cannot fill, no matter where I look. I try to find a dream, just to forget the pain. But all they do is remind me of it.

As I analyze this void, I suddenly realize it has always been there. Only now have I become aware of it. I realize that the pain comes from an emptiness that I tried to ignore. An emptiness I thought had been filled.

I do not know how long that void has been there. I try to ignore it, once again, and in a desperate attempt to ignore the void, I try to convince myself that this will pass. That this is only a stage. That there is no reason to fear. That the void is powerful, but ephemeral. But I know that no matter how ephemeral it may be, the wound it will leave on me will be eternal.

'till next time,

Sayonara