....wow....just skimed over all the old enteries that i have now deleted and i realized that i could hardly stand to read them. I'm not sure why, just to many memories i guess. Well i kept a few of them that but other than that its time to start fresh. An almost new, not quite clean slate, just like all the other tiems. Give me a canvas and ill paint you a picture and make you bleed, feel, cry, hate, love, understand, destroy. Give me your heart and i will crush it. What an uncommon feeling.....your heart in my hands....when ill ive ever been used to is my heart on the floor.

I've been thinkin alot recently about what defines perfection. And ive decided that its a thought wasted on the ignorant dreamer. I realize now that the only thing perfect is our flaws. Leave your thoughts on this or whatever you want.

tonight was actually fun......popularity.....O YA. i got to hang out with stephanie (shes very cool). i also got to see miss tina and miss erika. so like idk it was cool to see all them. i wonder how much steph actually likes me. idk she...along with most of her friends....seem to b ignoring me. hmmmmm idk i hope she thinks im still neato cuz i think shes totally grovvy......bringin back the 80's BITCH....later all.......

Im keeping this log only as a reminded in the furutre of all the stephanies out there.....and rick thanks for your comment if only i wasnt so blind then.. (it was written on Saturday, June 14, 2003 but the expeince still kicks my ass today)

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am