MY NEW SITE IS

www.xanga.com/fluffyoncemore

enjoy

KIDDO

you know what i hate? is when you go to a good xanga and they havent updated in a while *cough* go to www.xanga.com/fluffymustdie

Why do people act like love is a cure all? Ive seen people talk on gaia and they always say things like "as long as you're in love things will work out" and "If you're in love it doesnt matter" Erm...what the heck? Love cant fix everything...people act like love is all you need for a perfect relationship. They seem to think if you love each other everything will work out for you and everything will just magically fall into place. How can people really be that dense? Then they so oh well when you are in love you will understand...if being in love means I lose my ability to use common sense then Im not sure I want to be. A lot of people my age seem to think being together a couple yrs means forever...ya right. They also seem to ignore the fact that people change and have different plans for the future. Meh...sometimes makes me feel glad I dont have a relationship right now, I wouldnt want to do something stupid and mess up my future over a teenage romance. Like some people (my mom being a good example) who get married right out of high school, have kids right away, dont go to college bc they have kids, then get divorced and are in a bad position bc they cant get a good job and dont have the money or time to go back to school so they can get a good job. My mom gets more of my dad's paycheck then he does and she still barely makes it while dad (who was in his 30s when he got married and already had a stable job) and I have a very comfortable life bc dad did and still does make better decisions. Now some people may be ok w/ it...but I never want to be totally financially dependant on someone else like my mom was when her and dad were married. Some of my friends are like oh I wanna marry a rich guy and never have to work....even if I was w/ a rich chick I would still want to be able to make my own money....I mean what if we broke up or something happened to her...I would be totally screwed. People dont seem to think of the what ifs until they happen though...today I saw a very very bad car crash...and that could be anybody, including that rich husband somebody is totally dependant on. And when two people get married right out of high school and then end up having kids...I cant even imagine how they support those kids. But they only think w/ their heart and think oh we are in love so we will be alright...well love doesnt put food on the table or pay the bills. The more I think about it the more I think maybe its better I dont have love to complicate things right now. Not only that but...Im not sure I want to be w/ someone right out of high school...I want to experiance life on my own for awhile, living for awhile w/o commitment and such...Im not afraid of commitment or anything I actually look forward to it...but I think having that freedom for awhile would be nice.

Another thing people seem to think that bugs me...they seem to think that something is worthless if it doesnt last forever. Someone on gaia was talking and and they said to this other person you had sex after a month? But you could break up its only been a month! Erm...whats it matter if they can break up? If its meaningful at the time...isnt that enough? I mean I think if the feelings are there...even if later on they arent...they were still there when it happened and that is enough to make it special and meaningful...why does it have to be permanant to mean something? As Ive said before...Im not one of the people who can sleep w/ somebody I dont care about...but Im also not one of those people who thinks you need to date a person for over a year or even close to that before you sleep w/ them. We could all die tomorrow for all we know...if you really care for the person...even if it wont last...I think its worth it to enjoy it when you have it. Some of my friends say well Sami you wont get pregnant w/ another girl so you dont have to worry about somebody running out on you and leaving you w/ a kid. I suppose that is true...one of the lesbian advantages lol. Now if it werent for those darn pesky diseases we could be fear free...oh well cant have everything I suppose. I just think that we need to cherish what we have when we have it...tomorrow isnt guaranteed for any of us.

samichan

Nail Polish and Ciggarettes

I woke up yesterday waiting for Jasmine to call; she finaly woke up at around 12:30and I was walking through her door at 1:10. I had no clue about the planned events so I followed Jasmine.

We walked down to Anna's house. She wasnt home, but Randy was. He was on the phone with some guy from up north. After his comical shower he took for fucking ever to get pretty enough. WIth Randy taking so long to get ready we almost missed the bus.

Mid way on the trip to downtown a young guy gets on the bus and sits about 2 seats down. Jasmine brought up conversation first; she commented on his blue hair.

Soon we found out that Tom was 17 and had been kicked out buy his mom recently(like four days ago) He had a smoke behind his ear, he had black pants a red jacket and he was wearing a large Metalica shirt. His hair was cut to a tri-hawk and it was dyed blue. Jasmine asked him if he wanted to hang, so he did because he said he had nothing else better to do anyways. We were all pretty hungry so Jasmine bought us lunch at Colima's.

Three hours later we grew tired of seeing Randy scare little kids so we stopped by the front of the Regal. We stayed for anouther hour. While we were there we bummed a few smokes of a short guy and meet some other interseting people. The short guy said his name was Eddie. He was short and allways made eye contact and kinda freaked me out. He followed us around while we waited for a guy named Alex. I had to leave soon so we called Alex and said for him to meet us later at Jasmine's.

The bus was packed when we got on so I painted Tom's nails for him because he was a silly boy with no balance. What really shocked me on the bus was when I got on I cought eye contact of a girl from middle school I used to know. She was with anouther young girl who was once in my scienece class. They both had children of their own. Tom was invited to spend the night at Jasmine's and take a shower if he called his mom. Sittting on her sidewalk I took a few pics of everyone and Tom called his mom. I guess they made up because he was allowed to go home the next day. He was a really cool guy too bad he goes to RBV.

I went to see Big FIsh last night and yeah, I cried, same times, same amount of tears.

THE RAMONES MADE THE SOUND...BUT THE SEX PISTOLS, THEY PERFECTED IT.