life. its beautiful, and its also a paradox. its not worth living, yet there are some things in life worth living for. The chance that a miracle such as life are slim to none. Yet, somehow, it has found a way here on Earth. Its such a beautiful yet delicate balance; its actually quite difficult to create and give life, and its so easy to take it away.....

they say that everyone values their own life. This may be so, but i can honestly say, that there are some little shits that come along in life that definitely don't deserve to be living.......

have a nice day everyone.

hello my readers.

it brings me great grief to be updating with such a somber and unhappy entry, but it must be done for it will lift a great weight off my chest.

My 17th birthday just passed 5 days ago. And YOU forgot again, for the third time in a row. the first time i excused it; you had some things going on. the second time, was my 16th, and you forgot. I was very disappointed. Not only did you forget, you did not show any immediate remorse. And you said to me, "hey look, i'm really sorry i forgot ur birthday, but hey, there's always next year, right?" Right....but it was my 16th......you only get one of those in a lifetime.....i was mad at you, and you should've remembered my wrath then. but i forgave you. and that was a big mistake on my part. i ask you, how difficult is it to remember someone's bday? wutever...the past is distracting from the point i'm about to make. This year, i realize that ur still going through some things. But I was not asking very much from you. I only wanted you to remember my bday, and wish me a happy bday the day of it. and that was all. You let me down again. It would've hurt me to say this, but along with this and ur other past transgressions, I feel no regret or pain as I say this, " Our friendship is over."

Before you freak out (if you do that is), let me just say a few more things. There wasn't much left of this friendship that could've been salvaged. I don't know if you saw that coming, but I did. And I want to apologize for not having brought this up before. And I'm also sorry, that I cannnot muster the courage to tell you all this face to face, or even call you up to tell you. Even though you haven't been that great of a friend lately, you still deserve better than this as a human being. But then, at the same time, I can't help but think that this doesn't make a difference, because we haven't actually had an actual conversation with each other in any form in quite a while. And besides, would either of us like to remember our last conversation as one full of pent up anger, bitterness, that would end with a cold goodbye if luck permitted? I would also like to tell you that i'd like to remember the good times we had, but whats the point? As great as they were, dwelling on it isn't going to change anything. I'm sorry.

Before I go, perhaps i could leave you with some advice, so that you can keep this from happening in the future. Grow up. Middle school is over. Stop trying so hard, because in the end, no one is gonna give a damn who you were, or what you did in high school, unless it was really extreme. Reciprocate in a relationship, its not all about you. Maybe then, you wouldn't be so stressed out.

And now, I will say the words that you've either been dreading to reach, or really eager to reach.

"Goodbye"

yeah, i kno, i haven't updated in a while....

here's a quiz.....i think its pretty accurate.

Hey guys look, I'm finally updating. Today, we had our choir Christmas party, and we all got to find out who our secret singers were! I had Shannie! I was so surprised, I had no idea. She is such a great secret singer. She got me food throughout the first semester, and today, she got me a tub of ice cream, a jack skelington wristband, and a jack skelington lanyard! Thanks again Shannie! Oh, and thank you Kitty for the ring!

Enjoy....