derAmi's Xanga

Wak'd y the Gospel's Joyful Sound

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 13:51:29 GMT

Waked by the Gospel's joyful sound,
My soul in guilt and thrall I found,
Exposed to endless woe:
Eternal truth aloud proclaimed,
The sinner must be born again,
Or else to ruin go.

Surprised I was, but could not tell
Which way to shun the gates of hell,
For they were drawing near:
I strove indeed, but all in vain --
The sinner must be born again,
Still sounded in my ear.
Then to the law I flew for help;
But still the weight of guilt I felt,
And no relief I found:
While death eternal gave me pain,
The sinner must be born again,
Did loud as thunder sound.
God's justice now I did behold,
And guilt lay heavy on my soul --
It was a heavy load!
I read my Bible; it was plain,
The sinner must be born again,
Or feel the wrath of God.

I heard some tell how Christ did give
His life, to let the sinner live;
But Him I could not see:
This solemn truth did still remain --
The sinner must be born again,
Or dwell in misery.
But as my soul, with dying breath,
Was gasping in eternal death,
Christ Jesus I did spy:
Free grace and pardon He proclaimed;
The sinner then was born again,
With raptures I did cry.
The Angels in the world above,
And saints can witness to the love,
Which then my soul enjoyed.
My soul did mount on faith, its wing,
And glory, glory, did I sing,
To Jesus Christ my Lord.

Come, needy sinners, hear me tell
What boundless love in Jesus dwell,
How Mercy doth abound;
Let none of mercy doubting stand,
Since I the chief of sinners am,
Yet I have mercy found.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 14:30:49 GMT

O Lord that you would open up my eyes that I might see my sin for what it is! I do not know what that really means, nor do I know if I could handle it did You deem me able to truly understand what my sin is. That is the prayer of my heart however, and I ask that You in Your mercy; would open my heart to see my deeds for the vile wickedness that they are. Put my best accomplishments up against the light of true God glorifying acts, and let me see that my righteousness is as filthy rags. Break me if I must be broken, lay me low before the reality of my iniquity; but God I pray, leave me not to my own devices; and if the only way I can truly realize the depth of your sacrifice for me is to be faced with the facts about who I am and what i've done, then let no facade hide from me the truth I need to see.

In small glimpses i've seen the actuality of my position and all i can do is fall on my face weeping, asking for the forgiveness of an all powerful Adonai whose wrath for those who dishonor His name is beyond my comprehension. Far too frequently am I guilty of doing the most grave disloyalty, mocking the very sacrifice that saves me, spurning the gift I have been given, rejecting the gift I was offered freely to receive. In the OT time after time after time God strikes down those who fail to appoint Him the reverence due; and I daily disparage the one I claim to follow.

Father, in your unending grace forgive me for I am a man of unclean lips, impure thoughts, polluted intentions, and tainted acts.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 21:57:34 GMT

i realize that it has been forever and a day since i wrote anything on here. life is too complicated and I too busy to bother myself with xanga. i will however post something that i completed for my unit guys. i am indeed an ra at cedarville this year and due to extenuating circumstances, my guys have told me that they would like me to relinquish my RAship. i am unwilling to do so and I have refuted all four of their arguments in the following treatise which i have posted upon my door in true lutheresque style. i shall put it here for the whole e-world to read and judge as to whether i am guilty of the following four offenses or not.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In response to the following allegations, grave assertions of:

“Jumping ship on [my] own brainchild”

Leaving [my] fellow unit mates in the dust

Going to Michigan, as opposed to thrifting

And Favoring the Boston Red Sox

I plead in chronological order:

To the count of “Jumping ship on [my] own brainchild,” not guilty.

I am responsible for this brazen act of boat bounding as they say, but I take the following sentences to attempt to justify my act in your eyes. The choice was really not mine to make. I have thrown my deed upon the scales of justice and find that the lady who holds the weights finds nothing wanting in my decision. It is not out of a desire for selfish pleasure or personal gain that I have done the above said action, but rather to support and encourage one of our fellow unit mates whose house I seek as my domicile this weekend. Secondly and most importantly, it is my duty as RA to be father to the fatherless, brother to the brotherless and wingman to the wingmanless. Our good friend Master Foote has been placed in the sticky situation of traversing the miles twixt here and the mitt like land of Michigan, without the support of brotherhood sandwiched between the seduction and sorcery of two girls of the opposite sex. I would not, could not allow my friend and comrade to undergo such an endeavor when I knew that the only thing that held me back was the pursuit of my own enjoyment, and the extension of an already bulging bunch of thrifted bounty.

To the contention of Leaving [my] fellow unit mates in the dust, I say not guilty.

True I have indeed removed myself from the majority of the members of the brotherhood, but I estrange myself from the majority merely to make myself available to the minority. I reach out to the few so that the many may prosper. It is for the good of the entire brotherhood that I temporarily abandon you now, but I shall return and in due time we shall assail the bastions of prudent purchases to return in triumph with economically astounding acquisitions.

To the charge of Going to Michigan, as opposed to thrifting I also say not guilty.

Need I remind you clearly literate and knowledgeable members of the brotherhood, that we inhabit a hermitage situated upon a campus within a city, inside a state, existing within a country wherein are core concepts pertaining to the individual unalienable rights of all mankind. I am granted by the US Constitution which governs this land, the assumption of innocence until proven guilt. I cannot be guilty of going to Michigan as opposed to thrifting, for the possibility remains to go thrifting in Michigan. This charge must therefore be thrown out as it attacks the very foundation of my freedoms as a member of the being commonly referred to as human. If you have evidence which currently shows I did not thrift this upcoming weekend then we can reconvene on this assertion.

Lastly, to the accusation of Favoring the Boston Red Sox I must say guilty as charged.

And, if being a Red Sox fan makes me unfit to be an RA on this campus then I say not only rid me of my post, strike all record of me from the books, but pray, also obliterate the blight that this past 407 days has been upon my existence. However, there has been substantial confirmation that upon this campus are not only ra’s but also in a particular case familiar to many of you, an rd who loudly proclaims support for the team who must not be named. With this knowledge I humbly submit that I am completely justified in “favoring” a team as unbecoming to some as the Boston Red Sox. This team who must not be named will remain unnamed for obvious reasons, but need you question the identity of this disgrace; let it be known that their quarterback likens himself to a very tall individual with a laser rocket arm. They are clearly atheists as they have adopted the universal sign for luck as their banner. If such a retardation of justice can exist, then the “Favoring of the Boston Red Sox” must go unpunished.

I have systematically observed and answered all your accusations. I fall before you know bequeathing you for understanding and perhaps in particular cases forgiveness. Wither I have sundered let me restore, if my deed hath offended let me amend, but thrust me not away and allow me to again assume the place of honor I once held in your eyes. Trust once lost is not easily regained. I am aware of this, but my word to you is redoubled efforts to make the brotherhood of 30/32 the place of glory and renown as spoken of in the elder days, the time when all units and halls went forth and thither with the knowledge that they shared a campus with their betters.

With a good conscience my only sure reward, with history the final judge of my deeds, I will go forth to lead the unit I love...

Your Friendly Neighborhood RA

Monday, September 11, 2006

Mon, 11 Sep 2006 19:49:59 GMT

Art thou one who frequently findeth thyself in the place where thou thinkest thou be in good standings with God? Comparest thou thyself with thy neighbor and in pride thinketh thou that on the goodness of thine own merit thou hast won the respect of the Most High? Woe art thou, vilest of men, basest of sinners. Let not the sullied acts of others give thee the false impression that thou be in a better state then they. Infinitely dark are the hearts which think they do well, filled with the most unfathomable atrocities are the lives of those we consider the christian stalwarts. Compare not thyself to another, rather contrast your life to the standard of Yahweh. There, when the light pierces the shadow and at long last becomes visible the depth of your wickedness and depravity, fall on your knees before the throne and beg for grace so that the just judgement of a perfect Holy God should pass you over in accord with the limitless love and mercy of God.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 14:26:32 GMT

I feel so unworthy, unworthy to do anything. I am among men the basest of sinners, and yet the hands fresh from nailing Jesus to the cross have now been thrust the banner bearing the symbol of the very one I helped crucify.

Deserving the torment of the pit, I have been given a position by the very side I thrust through with a spear. A pike cruelly piercing the flesh of the one who now calls me friend, yea, even brother.

Awaiting the penalty of my transgressions and willing rejection, I was taken from a group less guilty than myself and placed in a position of power leading those I had just mocked and scorned, whose leader I had denied, scoffed, and spit upon.

The grip which grasp the whip which scourged Him, handles now the scepter of His sovereignty.

Deserving of eternal lifeless death, I have been given everlasting deathless life.

The hands I nailed hold me,

The Lord I loathed loves me,

The Christ I crucified carries me.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 10:40:36 GMT

On my own, with my own strength, using my own ability, by my own power, I can do nothing.

I am a sinful, unrighteous, unworthy, unrepentant, vile, base, hypocritical, self-righteous, screw-up. Nothing more, deserving naught else, worthy of nothing greater; than unadulterated, unfettered, all encompassing, waves of justice washing me into the deepest darkest pit of hell.

Blemished, impure, fallen, valueless, my merit garners neither mercy nor grace, your holiness is too high for me, your love too lofty.

"Woe is me, a man of unclean lips."

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 21:42:10 GMT

Trusting in times of trial, testing, or difficulty

is not nearly so trying

as trusting when God remains

silent.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 08:37:41 GMT

Broken but bought,

Sinner yet saved,

Lost and loved.

Worthless yet wanted,

Guilty but Gods.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Sun, 13 Aug 2006 17:41:26 GMT

Your love is beyond us, your gift too great to comprehend.

No thoughts or language can adequately shed light on the mystery of your mercy.

Words fall short, beyond depiction, outside explanation, you defy description and reject our feeble attempts to fit you in a box or relegate you into a quantitative category.

By you everthing is and without you exists nothing.

Above all, in all, beside all, and through all; with you there is hope and joy and laughter; without guilt, shame, fear and doubt.

To live in the light of your glory, mercy and majesty is to see the world.

Not to, is to expend ones existence in the darkness and solitude of the blind.

Help me see, and help me never forget.

Help me never forget.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 23:49:58 GMT

When at last, after a prolonged day of labor and toil, we rest our heads, close our eyes, and slowly drift away into a world of slumber; what pleasant goodness is to be found therein. Where else may we have such equal portion of blessings afforded us, to fade slowly off, sleeping surrounded by the grace of God, reaping rest on a pillow of His peace, tucked in comfort by the covers of His compassion, warmed by the blankets of his mercies, and dreaming of the wonders of the next world...