gen-der go to www.galeeb.blogspot.com -
gendr108.txt - - - - v1-20-08, 10am.: 30-minute study on understanding the opposite-sex..by Barbara.de.Angelis...from:vhs-notes.
Dear GRand-Ma: (cut this part out) i found no sign of-you
at xanga.
you had not bin there...? -
so i took the
''NEXT-STEP.'' alone.
-
after typing grama108.txt
i lost sight of 'self'
-
and just.wanted to love you.
-
and decided to give it 30.min.
-
it was one of those
'understanding the
opposite sex' cassettes,
-
and i soaked it up
and typed it out
as best i cood.
-
i hope you like it.
show it to your boy-friend.
.
i 'can' say:
the part about the man...
is very true.
they did a good job.
but i may have mis-worded,
how a woman is.
. secound message: GRand-Ma:..I..Am..sooo
'Sorry... i just finished typing
gendr108.txt i didnt know!
i was playing with my own heart.
but i didnt know it was
'all' serious and dangerous. i just wanted...to see it.
know when to stop.? it was a good study for me.
i think..?
i never wood try it and not think
of you. you made the tpying easy.
and i got to hear stuff along
the way. thanks grandma...for helping me.
see stuff. i drawd you a picture of it
...so you dont forget me. - third message: just finished
quik-refs. for gendr108. all-new thoughts about you
are come-ing.
i better stop.!..
last week... l loved a girl.
this week... i loved,
romanced, and learned how to
relationship one. im just getting dizzy.
must put this study down.
War is RIsing... i must go. - i Wuv you grand-ma...
(burp) why..? just read the quick-refs. :::end of grand-ma part. - original start of gendr108.txt: reasons for this study: If im getting a girl...
what does she want.? after you reed all this...
your better-off staying
with your
fantasy-girls. its just to complecated. - but for some it may meen..
survival. -
feelings without words.
is better than
words without feelings.
- Any-way...here it goes..
i hope there is-nt more.
i want to 'close' my
girl-boy studies... for 'better things:
boy-god boy-boy boy-plant.
but then...even boy-girl.
gets a time and place.
too.
- Here is a quick-reference:
(.2.pages long.)
and then all the details:
(.6. pages long.)
-
understanding the opposite-sex:
-
'know'the differences that
separate them.
-
men 'perform' to show love...
women 'relate' to show love.
-
women:dont make a man feel he is
'wrong'or'bad' let him know, you
are not saying 'that', even if you cant see 'how' your
'suggestion' wood be an insult.
-
men:saying 'sorry' to a woman
goes a-long way. let them hear
what they want to hear.
-
Men and Women Have different Brains.
-
men are special-ized,
women are multi-tasking.
-
man needs time-to-shift tasks.
-
Tip for wemen: give transition-time,
a few minutes to change the subject.
-
Men see 'the big-picture'
eg.things ahead, future, end-results.
women see 'the details'
eg.things at-hand, present, steps.
-
eg.tell wife how she looks: fine?
wrong! she wants details: Honey!
you look beutiful, your-dress,
your jewel-ware, lipstiick,
details-about it, makes me just
want-to-be-with you.
-
tip:dont tell her you love her...
tell her why...eg:
-
ladies: its not that he dont care,
he dosnt notice 'details',
women love-it when you do.
(feels-good.)
-
boy-girl speak different languages.
ie.thinking-patters:
-
men are 'sollution' oriented.
wemen are 'process' oriented.
-
eg.women think-out-loud, in a spiral,
as the female sex-organ, they go
around things, men like straight to
the point.
-
-
Love-Banks:
men want a beautiful face and body to look at.
wemen want the little changes they make loved.
:::
these ARE what turn-them-on,
but both like the sex...
'AFTER' the love-banks have built-up,
two-days?, to provoke a-lust4sex.
-
-Both- find purpose and
place..both want to be
thanked for it, even if
one dont make sense to
the other.
-
thats why women feel men arnt
'sensitive', not 'comforting' them.
they WANT the-talk, men dont get-anything
out of it...but the visual.
--
TIP FOR MEN: just 'be' with us,
not 'do' for us.
-
example:
if a woman is 'upset'...ASK HER:
do you want me to offer a solution?
or just want me to hug you? verbaly?
-
she may say: i just want you to listen.
-
cuz HE is looking for an answer...
when SHE does not want one.
-
-
'i feel crazy, like i want to kill someone.'
if man uses those same terms..its usualy
pretty serious. but the same words to a
woman meen somthing totaly different.
-
different brains,different language.
-
TIP FOR WOMEN:
'warn'the man that you 'want' to be
emotional and 'dont'want answers.
-
-
all YOU man have to do is: take-it for
5.min? and hold me, comfort me, tell me
its o.k. dont father-me, just act-as-one.
-
Women:dont be offended or mad at him cuz
he is trying to 'fix' your problem.
males 'try' to do that, you dont want it.
-
-
another 'BIG' Man-Woman difference is:
Men 'MauL'=think about there own feelings.
instead of expressing them.
-
but women mis-read a mans 'MauLL'ing to
meen 'he is ignoring me' she feels:
see? he wants nothing to do with me.!
-
Male:i dont 'WANT' to give an answer cuz
i may say the wrong thing.
-
she dosnt care. just talk!
-
RULE-FIVE:
Men are less emotionaly-Literate.,
they read-emotions less, they use less
emo-words.
so it takes HIM longer to get from
head-to-heart, he wants the right-words
on his feelings.
-
Ladies: just cuz He dosnt know how to
'say it'...
dosnt meen he dosnt 'feel-it' for you.
-
You (Lady) need to tell him: this is
what i want to say, this is how i feel.
do you want to talk about it now?
or in the morning? Re-schedule-it.
-
'NOT-Re-scheduling' is when the biggist
fights occur...dont say:no, say:later,
and 'when'. (.men 'appreciate' this.)
-
-
why do this?
1.cuz now he knows what you want.
2.he can plan for it.
-
mis-understanding each-other leeds to
fights and neg-lect. and both begin
socialy-searching for some-one else.
-
dont say 'lets talk'.
it makes men feel safer if you warn-ahead
'WHAT' you want to talk about or do.
it makes him 'willing' when he knows
'WHAT' he is in for. in a conversation.
-
TiP FOR MEN:
not in mood to talk? Re-schedule it.
dont say:i dont want to talk about it.
make her feel you do.
- - -
MORE on taLking and communicating:
when men say:
'you are always interupting'
wait!
-
follow THAT 'EMOTIONAL-MAP' in
making Love work.
-
women:
say 'is there anything else you want to
tell me or say?'. WAIT till he is done.
men 'appreciate' this.(get egg-d). and
women shood leeve-a-way for the man to
know when 'HE' is interupting.
-
-
ANOTHER mistake we women tend to make:
we 'tend' not to be very 'direct' in
the way we communicate. we like to
hint-hint at a topic or issue.
--
girl:you are hinting and hope-ing,
and he dont-got a clue. 'YOU' need
to be 'direct' (hard4females).
-
do-it. even if it makes him choke.
'
-
'DI-RECT' is what HE 'needs' and wont
understand if you just say: wwwwhhhm
im-having-alot-of 'feelings' lately.
-
--p9--
Male:what the Hell is she talking about?
LAdys TIP:be specific, you will feel
impowered. - - - -
OTher Secrets of Opposite Sex:
- - - -
Ladies need to feel they make
a difference.
Men need to feel they are
'doing-well.' and we de-prive each-other of these
shows of praise.
-
Man:let her know she does,and how.
women:let him know he does his vision
well.
-
WHY people cheat and have affairs:
its not for sex...
women:'LOOK' for someone who makes
them 'feel' they relly make a differnce.
Men 'LOOK' for girls that 'like' what
they do. - we all want to feel like treasures. - -
.'FEEding' Love.goes-a-long-way!
-
cuz when women feel un-loved...
they close-up..and males must then
forget-about sex.
-
Men: dont be 'emotionaly'lazy
(.quiet.)
you know what we want.
you know the little-things that
you do that ticcle-us, our affection.
verbal,showy, emo-tion.
dont make us 'beg' for it.
-
even if you dont 'feel-right' when
you do them...you will feel better,
and you will feel more in-love.
-
if you dont-know what those 'things'
are..'ASK!':what are the little-things
i can do to make you feel more loved.
-
becuz of ALL 'THESE' differences...
'having'sex can be very-complicated...
-
follow an emotional-road-map,
know when to stop and start...
where...and for who..and to do what.
-
note: its practiced alot in
romance-novels.
-- - -
top-1:womans complaint: wait until friday
to start love-touching us...and 'expect'
us to be 'turned-on'.
-
but if you dont-say 'i love you',
your-beautiful, and other things
all-week, friday will be no-deal.
you must deposit!,build-up that
love-bank to a hi-charge...
-
top-2:dont 'Rush' HER. dont go from
first-gear to fourth (like men do.)
take hours. 'check-the-roast'
do a little kissing, ask her if she
is reddy, if not, keep kissing where
she says. -
Love-the-moment...Not the goal.
-
top-3:Men have sex, they dont make-love.
try 'talking', passionate words,here,
there,women like it.(?)when you talk
and have sex at the same time: eg.
this feels good, i like it here with
you, you are beautifull. -note: adding a sentence or two
AFTER-ward. flattering her. -
top-4: MEN sLuuR, picture-lust, and
leek their affections, give 'looks'
to other women. Men: when you do this, you are not
investing in your relationship\marriage.
you are investing in a fantasy. focus-it on your partner,
- TOP-5:Mens complaints: women always
need a 'BIG-Production' to make-love.
eg.movies,novels,feed-back.candles,
wine,stories,candies. Note to Women:sometimes, its good to
just 'have-sex'..just 'do-it'.
to keep-him around for when you WANT
to do-it 'YOUR-WAY'. -
- TIP-three: Men are Visual!
You 'can' argue (inside) about 'what'
they 'LIKE' to see, but they 'do' like
what they-see. so..'FIND' out what those things are,
wear-it, act-it, let-him see it.
-
-Men get turned-on 'at-the-eye' first.
women get turned-on 'at-the-mind'
(.oR.? body?)...this makes a BIG
difference...
-
TIps For Getting the Most
out of this tape:
-
1:write it down, go over it, discus
them with your partner, correct, or
add personal things to it.
-
2:make commitment to 'USE' these.
say: i will try to give more TIME,
more patience, get into details.
-
3:acknowledge the changes, thank them.
Love the little steps each makes.
-
closing: i believe God put two sexes
on Earth for a reason, to be like a
mirror to each-other, to teach balance,
to stretch us. for destiny. - :::end of introduction,
:::end of quik-reference. main papers start after this comment:
wait one day!
now, whats your first-impressions
of this information: ??? here is mine:
the cave-man (not woman) has his
mind stayd? on 'the big-picture. connecting and securing places of
water and seed, and blocking any
Rival to those connections... therefore, he is to-the-point. 'no-mind-of-you' is better. cuz
if he finds a stranger, he barks.
you become a-tool oR a threat
to him, and you get driven-out. - Are you a tool to that person?
steps:how can you make him want
or need you? -
Age: in a Massai-Tribe your work
is controled by age...
-
at my age..its nice to have 'a'
family around when you need one,
so make many fit for yourself.
-
a place where you can enjoy
people, but not sex...cuz its
not 'your' family...
-
at my age i need to be out garding
borders and making new contacts.
collecting information for when
collecting wont be easy nor useful.
-
help god,others,self get into place.
but by what their age allows.
-
the next step, (age-older)
is to make
water and seed places
for your own-house.
- i decided:
based on gendr108.txt
and my-own 'need' of time-savers. you will need two-women.
to supply each-other the
emotional build-up
they like and need. and since wemen 'like.' to
talk...it wiil go quicker. let others do the work,
for-you.
-
now they are all stired-up
constantly for sex..
-
all you got to do...is step in.
-
i just hope the female-mind
works this way.
-
i remember cruel love-stories,
of men who got all stired up
for a girl, and then another
steped-in secretly just in time
to take what the other one
had coming to her.
-
it happens all the time,
Read the Bible.
- without your-own water and
seed contacts..you got no-say.
they drive you out, or you them.
show mercy. -
women are like sweet-breads.
pretty-cakes.
eat all you want...
but if one makes you sick and die.
...
its only cuz dis-eases are in
the ingredients.
-
...end of comment. -
- main-papers start here: --p1-- 'know'the differences that
separate them. eg.needing driving-directions..
she-says:why dont you stop\ask!
he-gets:offended
he-thinks:your saying he-is
no-good, cant gide, cant leed. he dosnt real-ize you are just
being-practicle,talkative... -why.?- it came-down to him: historic cave-man example:
the-man is born-to
surivival-and-leeding:
so...
being told your-doing-it-wrong
offends their very nature.
it attacks the-feel for
purpose and being...(to them)..
.
even if you didnt meen it
that-way...thats what He h-Earz.
. - Under same-cave conditions
the female thinks only of
her-survival...which meens
the man must stay healthy
and attracted to her... so she stays 'emotional'.
knowing if He-fails..
she dies in the wars.
no-bread-getr. no kill. fear of this happening..
brings constant-emo.
dependency... - so'emo'came-down to her. Results Today:
He-works hard and shows
no-feeling... sHe-panics hard and shows
much-feeling... for in the bak of every
girls mind is the old...
'im going to 'die'. if that
man leevs me.' - wemen tend to get-in-the-way
of a mans survival-buisness.
and this upsets him.
but she wants to make sure
he-still crys over her. -
its not that he dont love you.
he shows it his-way..and she
dosnt see it..to well.
cuz she is emo.
he is not..he cant be dependant.
his mind is set on the-hunt.
he must bring food-in.
so it-becomes 'his way' to
show love..instead of emo.
so he has no-emo.
when she wants emo.
-
and cuz her-survial is by emo,
she shows love...by-emo. -
women also like to 'improve'
things...they dont mind being
wrong.
-
but man does not like being told
he is wrong..its very-very hard
for him to say 'im-sorry'.
-
men: when you gide and she says:
lets stop for directions,she isnt
calling you a failure..she is
simply suggesting you consider.
dont be bitter.
- Rule-One:
men 'perform' to show love...
women 'relate' to show love. eg.men want you to trust the
work they do for you.
women want you to comb their
hair and tell them you love.
them.
-
women:dont make a man feel he is
'wrong'or'bad' let him know, you
are not saying 'that', ...even if you cant see 'how'
a 'suggestion' wood be an insult.
- men:saying 'sorry' to a woman
goes a-long way. let them hear
what they want to hear. - Rule-Two:
Men and Women Have different Brains. men are special-ized,
women are multi-tasking. - men stay on one subject to study.
women can talk,study,phone,and
have-sex at the same time. - man needs time-to-shift tasks. - tip4wemen: give transition-time,
say 5.min, to change the subject,
from what he is, to what you want
him thinking about.
a common interest. - --p2-- Rule-Three:
Men see 'the big-picture'
eg.things ahead, future, end-results.
women see 'the details'
eg.things at-hand, present, steps. - example:
women ask how you liked the changes:
dyed-hair, room-cleaned, etc. and then women thinks you dont care,
cuz you arnt giving her praise.
but man dosnt pay-attention cuz he
thinks past 'little-changes'. 'this' makes woman feel unloved-emo.
and in need of emo-support elsewhere. eg.tell wife how she looks: fine?
wrong! she wants details: Honey!
you look beutiful, your-dress,
your jewel-ware, lipstiick,
details-about it, makes me just
want-to-be-with you. tip:dont tell her you love her...
tell her why...eg:
when-i-get-home:
you got it in order,
when your in bed,
i feel lukiest in world. - this makes them 'feel' special.
tell them everythings going to be
all-right. - ladies: its not that he dont care,
he dosnt notice 'details',
women love-it when you do.
feels-good. (see 10c.vhs.or.sears-affair) - boy-girl speak different languages.
ie.thinking-patters: Rule-Four:
men are 'sollution' oriented.
wemen are 'process' oriented. - eg.women think-out-loud, in a spiral,
as the female sex-organ, they go
around things, men like straight to
the point. - eg.man asks:what are you doing today?
out-loud she thinks:im going first to..
then..then..maybe..then..etc. - but man is gone, isnt listening,
cuz you didnt get to a two-word point. :::my comments: (skip down) man wants to feel he is doing-achieving,
women dont look for a finish, and dont
care if a task has an ultimate-result.
in a week or month. she enjoys details of the day, patterns. she wants to feel cycles,circles. he wants to see start and end.
and a bigger 'purpose'
the 'effect' this 'step' will
have in years to come. - women care that today circles well.
and details appreciated, she loves the
comments,little shows of appreciation,
encourage-ment, flowers, small awards. - --p3-- :::my comments continue: men are out-door thinking,
women outdoor, but details-affectionate.
in their work. eg.botany:man sees the net-crop results,
women see the beauty and daily details.
not as steps, but daily circles that
are appreciated by her as your long-term.
is to you.. - Love-Banks:
men want a beautiful face and body to look at.
wemen want the little changes they make loved.
these are what turn-them-on, but both like
the sex...'after' the love-banks have
built-up, two-days?, to provoke a-lust4sex. - - female:we need to 'talk' about our relationship.
lets-talk.
male:how long will this take.? note:male wants to get to a point,
and disturbed that somthing must be wrong,
dosnt understand that she just wants to talk. and circle the point, dance around the idea,
adding savour,stretch,detail,and commentary..
to the point. so long as there is one..or not. not-careing if ? or relationship has a point
or far-off value to it., only that it make
her little-changes more appreciated.(to her?) - ''He Never Talks to Me.'' meens...i want
verbal-affection approval praise..shes not
trying to get answers, arguements, or change-you. she wants appreciation for her circles-daily. -
''Lets-Talk''may meen:build-up my love-banks.
mental-verbal stimulation acceptance? praise.
man cant see what it does to her.
visual-stimulation is to him, what 'lets-talk'
is to her?
- eg.female said he had that 'i-got-her' attitude
after the affair, and appreciation-moments stopd
as her husband did. affairs arnt for sex,but for appreciation banked
into her by flowers,little comments, feelings, men dont like giving if they dont see a point.
wemen dont care for a point just so they feel
they will get to the-point(sex?) eventualy. - --p4-- :::comments continue: Men 'question' the authoritys
behind little-recognitions.
little-things and changes dont hold value.
certificates, paper-pledges,small honors,paper-promises,
etc. cant be trusted nor enjoyed by men to well.
nor a childs love? - where-as women dont see
the 'value' of long-term ambitions,
calling it 'no-purpose',
a man does all that planning, for what?
why cant he just 'be with me,
enjoy little-things' half-the fun is:getting there.
little-achievements, and multiple-channels
of things-to-do,talk-clean,have sex,all at
same time. - she calls him 'dis-placed warrior'
fighting a battle that dosnt exist (to her).
cuz she cant see nor desire such as man. - man is in the field..
watching the big-plan.
woman is at home..
watching the little
activities. -Both- find purpose and
place..both want to be
thanked for it, even if
one dont make sense to
the other. -Woman needing much more
thanks,app. the man: only
a few well-chosen words.
of his liking.
...to 'egg'him on.
- --p5-- casset continues: (.not my comments:)
so..
wemen talk about everything,
even hours-later, going over
it again, enjoying it.
round and round,
like her.sexual-organ.
-
driving man crazy cuz the
discussions 'never' get to a point,
like his.sexual-organ
-
example:
boy complains about his relationship
with a girl...to another girl. note:
you will never Hear her say:
is this going to take long? Hell no!
she'd love to hear 'ALL' about it.
going over it herself and never
getting to a point.
.
but males:dont WANT to hear it. -
thats why women feel men arnt
'sensitive', not 'comforting' them. they WANT the-talk, men dont get-anything
out of it...but the visual. -
example:
man comes home,woman complains about
her day, makes up little complaints,
male only wants to..'get-to-a-point'
fix-things,find her an answer.
but she dosnt WANT an answer.
-
male says:what do you do? what are
your options?
female says: your not listening to me!
your dont understand! -
wooo! instant fight ! why? if there is a point,
she dosnt WANT to get to it.
not directly...just eventualy.
(.not at all is fine too.) see?:she is 'enjoying' the conversation
and 'looking' for bits of acceptance
and your praise, verbaly-valued.
and dosnt want you to quit.. so it happens again every-day...
every-night...instant fite.
cuz you dont understand why she keeps
it up. shes an emotional creature.
a woman...? -
she: i want to be comforted,held,told
everything will be o.k.
he: thinks..what good is 'that' going
to do?..he is logical...and see's no
joy in temporary comments-of-affection. -
he sees...the-big-picture..and wont?
move off them for heR...little quirks.
-
HE: i want to 'fix' the problem, logical,
not emotional...her needs.
HE wants to give a 'solution'.
She wants the joy of 'the process'.
little praises along the way.
-
(but i think her attitude is fitting
if she will raise children)
-
TIP FOR MEN: just 'be' with us,
not 'do' for us.
-
example:
if a woman is 'upset'...ASK HER:
do you want me to offer a solution?
or just want me to hug you? verbaly?
-
she may say: i just want you to listen.
-
so she pours out complaints,
going over and over them till she is
'satisfied' and then forgets it as if
nothing happened. never needing a point.
-
man gets up thinking, WOW!
she has -GOT- a mental-problem!...
cuz HE is looking for an answer...
when she dosnt want one.
-
sometimes these 'complaints' can get
WILd for sake of attention,exagerating.
example:
female storms into the room: i had such
a rotten day! my girlfriend got me upset,
and i feel like killing her-him for that.
-
male is sitting there thinking: O my god!
she's wanting to kill people...
-
if man uses those same terms..its usualy
pretty serious. but the same words to a
woman meen somthing totaly different.
-
different brains,different language.
- --p6-- TIP FOR WOMEN:
'warn'the man that you 'want' to be
emotional and 'dont'want answers. -
women are 'process'oriented and so
'exagerate' problems or information.
(to get more out of it?..romantic?) example:
i dont know what im going to do,
i feel like killing somebody sometimes.
-
so man panics and thinks shes going mad.
and calls for a medical-mental-doctor.
-
man takes 'killing'literal, women 'wants'
to be emotional, un-wind and complain,
for just 5.min?..
-
all YOU man have to do is: take-it for
5.min? and hold me, comfort me, tell me
its o.k. dont father-me, just act-as-one. -
Women:dont be offended or mad at him cuz
he is trying to 'fix' your problem.
males 'try' to do that, you dont want it?
-
-
another 'BIG' Man-Woman difference is:
Men 'MauL'=think about there own feelings.
instead of expressing them.
cuz they are 'solution'-oriented. they
want an answer for it.
-
and women dont 'care' for the answer.
so long as they know its coming.
they 'want' to express feeling, and get
attention for extreeming-themselves.
maybe get egged-on to do more.
-
but men want to 'get-it-right' so they
MauLL... till they find best words?
-
women dont care if they get-it-right,
just so they feel they 'will' eventualy.
just not yet.
-
dont get to the answers yet cuz this gives
me time to 'dance-around' the issue,
collecting praise,extreems,details that
getting-to-the-point misses.
-
but women mis-read a mans 'MauLL'ing to
meen 'he is ignoring me' she feels:
see? he wants nothing to do with me.!
-
:::my comment:
visual.vs.verbal.appreciation:
both-sexes get pulled together, resulting
in relationships,commitment,both become..
one-direction. but in our-culture:
this leed to more-evil, and painful-stess.
when other-offers and mis-understandings
of opposite-sexes..Arise. -comment closed. --7-- cassete continues:
example: its late-at-nite,
she says: honey..we need to talk about this...
he says: i dont want to talk about it.
he wants to MauL.it over.
she just wants to talk about it.(get pleasure)
so she picks late-nite to talk...
cuz she knows male is to tired to 'MauL'
and wont try to be so 'logical'
-
this is how the first-fights start.
cuz Male dosnt understand 'WHY'
she wants to 'talk about it.'
-
Male:i dont 'WANT' to give an answer cuz
i may say the wrong thing.
-
she dosnt care. just talk!
-
-
RULE-FIVE:
Men are less emotionaly-Literate.,
they read-emotions less, they use less
emo-words. so it takes HIM longer to get from
head-to-heart, he wants the right-words
on his feelings.
-
Ladies: just cuz He dosnt know how to
'say it'...
dosnt meen he dosnt 'feel-it' for you.
-
You (Lady) need to tell him: this is
what i want to say, this is how i feel.
do you want to talk about it now?
or in the morning? Re-schedule-it.
-
dont sit on-top of him and 'talk'.
tell him what you want, maybe go-over
the topic for 5-min to get him
'warmed-up' to it. the set a time for it.
Re-schedule.
- 'NOT-Re-scheduling' is when the biggist
fights occur...dont say no, say later,
and 'when'. (.men 'appreciate' this.)
-
example:
she says:
the kids are coming,
i didnt like the problems
last time with step-mother, I-NEED 5-20.min.going over the details.
-
why do this?
1.cuz now he knows what you want.
2.he can plan for it.
-
mis-understanding each-other leeds to
fights and neg-lect. and both begin
socialy-searching for some-one else.
-
dont say 'lets talk'.
it makes men feel safer if you warn-ahead
'WHAT' you want to talk about or do.
it makes him 'willing' when he knows
'WHAT' he is in for. in a conversation.
- --p8--
-
TiP FOR MEN:
not in mood to talk? Re-schedule it.
dont say:i dont want to talk about it.
make her feel you do. - - - MORE on taking and communicating:
when men say:
'you are always interupting'
cuz you listen and comment between lines..
-
He 'WANTS' to finish to-a-point.,
not let-you jump in and detail..
(like girls do to each-other)
-
? THAT 'EMOTIONAL-MAP' in
making Love work.
-
women:
say 'is there anything else you want to
tell me or say?'. WAIT till he is done.
men 'appreciate' this.(get egg-d). and
women shood leeve-a-way for the man to
know when 'HE' is interupting.
- -
ANOTHER mistake we women tend to make:
we 'tend' not to be very 'direct' in
the way we communicate. we like to
hint-hint at a topic or issue.
-
we do-not 'ASK' for what we want..
and then wonder why we do not get it.
-
example:
Lady wants to suggest 'commitment' to
her man, but just 'suggests' it by
talking about two-others who did.
'isnt that great!'she says.
'yeah,?..thats great' he says.
-
then woman starts crying and telling
him how aweful she feels, and you
dont love her, and male
totaly dosnt get what she said.
-
girl:you are hinting and hope-ing,
and he dont-got a clue. 'YOU' need
to be 'direct' (hard4females).
-
do-it. even if it makes him choke.
'i want to consider a commitment or
closing this relation-ship, and we
need to set a time to talk about it.'
-
'DI-RECT' is what HE 'needs' and wont
understand if you just say: wwwwhhhm
im-having-alot-of 'feelings' lately.
-
-end- - --p9--
Male:what the Hell is she talking about?
LAdys TIP:be specific, you will feel
impowered. - - - - OTher Secrets of Opposite Sex: Ladies need to feel they make
a difference. Men need to feel they are
'doing-well.' and we de-prive each-other of these
shows of praise. - Man:let her know she does,and how.
women:let him know he does his vision
well. - WHY people cheat and have affairs:
its not for sex...
women:'LOOK' for someone who makes
them 'feel' the relly make a differnce.
Men 'LOOK' for girls that like what
they do. - we all want to feel like treasures. :::my commnet:
the 'feel' above meenz..not 'logicly'
as in 'facts' statistics, but 'feel'
as in 'emotional' responses. maybe:the praises she gets per-hour.
or till satisfied. praises given how
and when she wants them. not over.
not less. not fony. - ::casset tape continues:
.'FEEding' Love.goes-a-long-way!
(prep?see my tape-program how2feed
it verses how to starve-it)) - cuz when women feel un-loved...
they close-up..and males must then
forget-about sex. Men: dont be 'emotionaly'lazy
(.quiet.)
you know what we want.
you know the little-things that
you do that ticcle-us, our affection.
verbal,showy, emo-tion.
dont make us 'beg' for it. - even if you dont 'feel-right' when
you do them...you will feel better,
and you will feel more in-love. - if you dont-know what those 'things'
are..'ASK!':what are the little-things
i can do to make you feel more loved. We Will TELL you!. We (.girls.) got
a big long-list of them. - --p10-- becuz of 'THESE' (entire study) differences...
'having'sex can be very-complicated... follow an emotional-road-map,
know when to stop and start...
where...and for who..and to do what. - ((see our 'making-love-work' program))
SEX is a symptom of a good-relationship.
not the 'goal'. - what contributes to a good sex-life:
TIPS: get some, ask! Male and Female. we have 'really-different'ways of even
viewing-sex. top-1:womans complaint: wait until friday
to start love-touching us...and 'expect'
us to be 'turned-on'. -
but if you dont-say 'i love you',
your-beautiful, and other things
all-week, friday will be no-deal.
you must deposit!,build-up that
love-bank to a hi-charge... start early, and what-you-put-into it,
WILL turn back to you, when it has
set awhile.
- top-2:dont 'Rush' HER. dont go from
first-gear to fourth (like men do.)
take hours. 'check-the-roast'
do a little kissing, ask her if she
is reddy, if not, keep kissing where
she says. a little more here, and more there.
-
Love-the-moment...Not the goal.
-
top-3:Men have sex, the dont make-love.
try 'talking', passionate words,here,
there,women like it.(?)when you talk
and have sex at the same time: eg.
this feels good, i like it here with
you, you are beautifull. -note: adding a sentence or two
AFTER-ward can 'REELY' make a diffence
to a woman. so say somthing flattering. - --p11-- top-4: MEN sLuuR, picture-lust, and
leek their affections, give 'looks'
to other women. Men: when you do this, you are not
investing in your relationship\marriage.
you are investing in a fantasy. focus-it on your partner,
you will feel it,
and you-WILL be rewarded in time for
your submission. (judgment: from her
of from God?) - TOP-5:Mens complaints: women always
need a 'BIG-Production' to make-love.
eg.movies,novels,feed-back.candles,
wine,stories,candies. Note to Women:sometimes, its good to
just 'have-sex'..just 'do-it'.
to keep-him around for when you WANT
to do-it 'YOUR-WAY'. note:- men make love more often, if you
have sex more often. And men 'LIKE' the
spontaneous response of you just
'WANTING-TO-be-with-them',(!) skipping all that:'i got-to do my hair,
do my nails, get in the mood' stuff.
- even if you are not-in-the-mood. oR
dont feel-right about it at the time. -
Men 'LOVE' it when the woman takes the
initiative to have-sex, and not 'always'
be the ones to suggest or start it up.
oR having the responsibility of ...
'making-the-calls'...suprise-him! - TIP-three: Men are Visual!
You 'can' argue (inside) about 'what'
they 'LIKE' to see, but they 'do' like
what they-see. so..'FIND' out what those things are,
wear-it, act-it, let-him see it. (.good-god! who wrote this? Satan?) - --p12-- Men get turned-on 'at-the-eye' first.
women get turned-on 'at-the-mind'
(.oR.? body?)...this makes a BIG
difference... - Men 'HATE' when women dont know their
own bodies, and expect the guy to know
what to do. he dosnt have one of those
so he dosnt know. -end- - - - - TIps For Getting the Most
out of this tape: 1:write it down, go over it, discus
them with your partner, correct, or
add personal things to it. 2:make commitment to 'USE' these.
say: i will try to give more TIME,
more patience, get into details. 3:acknowledge the changes, thank them.
Love the little steps each makes. - closing: i believe God put two sexes
on Earth for a reason, to be like a
mirror to each-other, to teach balance,
to stretch us in the directions we
need to go, appreciate the differences,
understand them, learn from them,
use them.(.to go foreward.)
to stretch yourself and stretch your
heart to make 'Love' work. Both Men and
Women...Together. (audience appluds...tape shuts-off) - :::my comments: emo.tone.emo women?follow the emotions of her location
or reeds them from the people about her...
and can be used to guide her into yourself.
-
tone: if you tell a dog to go-away, but you
say it in a cheer-ful 'tone' it comes2you.
they dont follow words well...they follow
the-tone of the situation.
-
body-language:women use body-language to
talk also..both tone and body-talk may
explain why some 'guys' boast they can
'Make' a girl love them in just moments.
-
animals do this, gestures tones, and
it saved-me many times. teaching each-other
to understand tones and body-language
can help you avoid hi-risk situations.
-
other note: some girls claim not to be 'EMO'
cuz they know guys dont understand that,
and wood be turnd-off...i think thats
what EMO meens...i heer it on blogs alot.
- -no end.- girl-boy study closed by
reading Romance-Novels. it felt strange just to
have one in my hand. novels 1970's to Today.
it blew my mind...
not just the words...
but how-they used them. - Ripping up the female mind,
making me emotional also. -
they wanted a book sold.
killing trees and
man-kind to do it. - but...in-it...
i saw the danger.
of my-own 'girl-boy' playing. - danger beyond belief. - mans evil-heart...
magn-ified...
one-million times... - i felt so small. - choking me with doubts
that i cood do anything. - i didnt know the heart
cood be its own downfall. - teezing it, instead of
care-ing for it. - - - end of study - - my first-impressions of this,
were moved to the end of
the quik-references. - | 
