| I have lived a lie, been betrayed, had what i know revealed to me, now
i change, eventually i will cease, moving is the first step, after that
only one person know whats i plan, even though our time has past and
now she is happy, she has changed her look too, which suits, but she
know the truth now, and after i leave i hope she queries what she has
been told by others, a lie which has got out of hand, which i let
people believe because i wanted someone to be happy with me, to want
me, well now has just built a wall around herself, once i would have
given my life to her, for her anything for her.
Now i can hardly be around her, i just stay silient, knowing the real
her, one day people will see that and work out what she has done, maybe
she believes that lie to all her heart, wants it to be true, but i
remember now, i know what happened, its funny what we suppress when we
wnat something so much, yes more happened than should have, but not as
much as has been implied and said to other people.
I do know she hated me for what happened however she did nothing, maybe
the eyes of a young teen do see things differantly to real life, or
what they want to be real, i know only what she tells me of her past,
and what i know would make her believe it.
I mean no harm to her, even now i know i still love her, i know that some people still cant understand why, but i am me.
People hate me, despise me, and try to injure me, for a crime i never
really commited, yes parts of the fractured history are true, but more
could have been done by both partys to stop it, so every person told
this lie knows a lie, but knows not that its a lie.
When i leave i will escape this curse, i will make no attempt to
establish a new life somewhere i just have given up hope, no point in
prolonging the inevitable, i know that know one believes i will do
this, but what do i have to lose.
Two months and counting, i can't wait for february, i finally have
something to look forward to, i suppose i only have myself to blame,
but hey, this world isnt exactly forgiving is it?
Well this is my final post, i can not be bothered anymore, i'm slowly
ending all routes of communication, progression will always hurt
somebody, this time its not somebody else.
Michael
|
