|
diablos_demie
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Cailon or Kirby Metro: Birthday: 8/25/1986 Gender: Male
Interests: I like video games anime all kinds of art poetry i like heavy metal techno classical j pop/rock and im sure other stuff, i enjoy hangin out with my friends drawing and throwing ideas back and forth, i dont really follow a religon more like a set of ideals its called bushido the thing that samurais followed ummm cant think of any thing else hit me up if you wanna know more Expertise: hmm let me see pleasing people drawing, painting video games Occupation: Student Industry: Art
Message: message meEmail: email me Website: visit my website AIM: diablos_demie Yahoo: kirby_demie
Member Since:
9/17/2004
|
|
| ok what do u do when ur heart says one thing and ur morals say another.
i mean about 6 minths ago i was gonna stop living for others and always
fallow my heart and what feels good for me to do. but it is hard to
drop a way of life that u have lived for 18 years. i have fallen for
this girl and she had been my everything for i dont know how long and i
dont know wut to do because of her current situation so i dont
know i am going to go ponder on this some more
| | |
| hello again all it been ahwill so i got some stuff to talk bout i
guess, well lets see first of alll i am free of the depression mostly
havent even started on the drugs yet haha umm kellies a bitch and im
trying to piss her off and not because im out for some imature revenge
but cuz i figured sumtin out about a week ago. she tells mw dont like
me cailon and i say ok i will try, when im about at the point to where
i hang with her she starts cuddling on me and flirting making me like
her again, and i tell her this and shes scolds me bout how i shouldnt.
bout then it hit me she is playing with me like im some sick marianete,
pulling my strings pushing me one way and pulling my strings the other,
so i figure u gonna play games with me ill play them with u ha ha. so
far it iz a success.
lets see what else ooo my job yes i hate my job so verry much i hope
soon to get a job at the school less pay but more hrs and closer so
well see wut happens there.
um....... o love life so for the past month mabee ive been trying my
skills and tryin to get a girl lol needless to say it aint workin they
ether got someone else more important way to young or they like my
roomates but its ok even if i got a girl it wouldnt matter she just be
a filler untill i was reunited with the one that i truley care
for...... but who knows how long that will be ether way it dosnt bother
me kuz i know that there is someone special to me in my heart and i
like to thik i have a place in theres to mabee just wishfull thinkin
but it makes me happy and keeps me goin.
o yea sumtin else i find interesting when i went to the head doctor for
meds they said i showed symptons of just being depressed not
crazy but one thing threw here of wich was the fact that i hear things
and see things that arnt there and she says thats strange, and as the
depression goes away so whould all that other stuff. well it seems the
other way the less i get depressed the more my heart becomes darker i
have become more hatefull of ppl even friends the voices and images are
growing in my mind they call me to join them in drenching this world in
mortal blood i think there silly though and my better part holds me
true it seems to me that they think there using me for there deeds when
to me it seems that i am using them to intumb my power but i rambl to
much ne ways i guess im dun gonna go call amber and hit hot tub so i
will ttyl bye all
| | |
| aaaa what to say well i woke up yesterday and for some odd reason i
felt verry alone, and i felt it in a way that i hadent felt in over and
i dont know why, im pritty sure it wasnt cuz of kellie cuz shes a dumb
bitch, but i digres. i think it is cuz i miss someone dear to me that i
am worry about now lil to no contact the last 6 days and it sadens me .
but mabee im being weired and stalker like mabee they want me to stop
calling them so i can get over them.........o how i worry about them so
much.. on another note latley ive been thinkin bout dropen out of
school, seems like the right choice right now sure as hell save on
money, and to respond to you amber yes, yes i am tired of this all im
tired of fighting through my pain through school, through life, but
thats not all i'm tired of watching you struggle with yours and
wish i could help you, and now i'm even more powerless to assist
you.... i guess that is stalkerish.... well i gonna go cry and kill
myself lol j/k i got to go to work
tonight well c ya all hopefully "they" will contact me
| | |
| ok so i went to the hospital i found out the muscle in my arm has micro
tears in it so it hurts like a fukin bitch i just got kellies bday gift
in the mail and i wanna give it to her but i dont wanna see her so idk
wut the fuk to do i had my anual review at work to not to bad
but nuthing seems to matter anymore every joy i have in life i
cant share with ne one special and i dont even mean like a serius
relationship but to know that there is some who is mine and i theres is
just a nice feeling to have and sumthing i deeply miss and i
thought i found the perfect person to fill that void and i hers but
...... it just didnt pan out the way i wouldve liked but its ok i still
care for her verry much and im pritty sure she knows man my arm hurts
alot well im gonna quit bitchen dosnt help nun im gonna go pop some
drugs and try top sleep love u all
| | |
| hmmm ok so im bout rdy to write more life is a mystery to me i think
that if there trulley is a god it would be alot like how
constonie(spelled that wrong i think) puts it god is a kid with an ant
farm. it amazes me how ppl who work so hard and are such good ppl get
so little out of life I see these cratures that walk among me
that i feel are so unworthy of what they are handed an even though they
say they want to change and ascend higher they take no steps towards
that goal though, and i feel that i am a pillar among man that all are
based on and when the end of the world comes i shall be there judge i
will seek out thoose worthy of this imortal glory of the 8...much is on
y mind and i hear an anaconda feeding in the room next to me, and water
flows through my room unhindered by time and temptation, a failure i
feel for my folly from there grace, but with open arms i am excepted by
the 8 pointed star as a champion and bretheren. this world will be
judged and man kind will face its most horific time and i will see it
through to its end. that is all for tonight forever and nothing more
| | |
|