So mid summer I made a commitment to go to Uganda, not knowing my upcoming school schedule, work, getting a new passport & where the finances are going to come from. I just had a little small faith that I was going to go. I believed that if God really wanted me to go, everything will fall into place so GUESS WHAT?

Everything fell into place.

School:
I DO NOT have any conflict with any of my assignments or exams for the two weeks I'm gone. And even though there was 1 essay due, my TA was so nice about it. She just told me to hand it in whenever I get back or get the chance to read it.

Work:
They're very flexible. The positive side of being a "supply" is that I CAN say "no" lol

Passport:
I will be receiving a temporary extended passport for 2 years (which i only need for this year because next year, I AM CANADIAN ) so I hope to receive in by the beginning of Oct. (again, no worries, God's on my side. Though I think I might be tested again)

Finances:
Here's the AMAZING part. I will NOT be paying ANYTHING going on the missions trip. NOT even for my safari.
Why?
- Our whole team have collected enough funding to cover for the missions trip
- My shots will be paid for either by York or by the funds
- Safari Trip: has been FULLY sponsored by my good "young" boyfriend!!!!! ALL of it.

and all these are made possible because of HIM. MY God.

I am BLESSED because He loved me first.

been a while since i've bloged...

 

i'm kinda happy that the past doesn't really sadden me.. but my present seems so mundane...my future is hopeful..but we'll see where you'll be..

I hate that you twist and turn the things i do into something so evil.

I hate it.

I hate that you judge it against my relationship with God

I hate it

I hate that when I'm doing what you want me to do, you somehow ALWAYS turn the situation around and use it against me. and then come around asking me why i do what i do.

I hate it

I hate it that I can't tell you something w/out you judging us right away

I hate it

I hate that we're like this all the time

I hate it

I can't believe the words you say sometimes, I just don't get it? don't we believe in the same God?

I hate it

I hate that you ALWAYS point your fingers elsewhere and never at yourself

I hate that when you're proven wrong you NEVER say sorry for it, but still think you're right

I hate that when i tell you things you use it against me later on..

maybe that's why i don't tell you things anymore

I  hate that you don't have confidence in me

I hate that you'll always take the other side and never mine

I hate that when i'm trying to vent at you, you don't let me vent but add more pressure on me

Sometimes i really wonder who truly understands me

It's so stupid that when i need you there to listen, not only do you not listen to everything, you get mad at me and then wait for me to "soothe" your anger down..WELL who's soothing mine?

I totally understand that God is the person that I should turn to for all this, but God also gave ppl around us for support right? so don't get me wrong, it's not like i depend on you, it's just that when supported is needed, no matter how much of B*tchach i am at my moment of spitting out my anger.. BE there for me as I was for you.

I hate that you try to make everything go away by doing something nice to me, but not really dealing and solving the problem

and honestly, when a person is venting out.. don't be a dick and be distracted w/something else! give me my full attention that I want at that moment.. cuz it will pass... w/or w/out you being there...

why are ppl all around  me so UNCARING? they only care to talk to you or do things with you when it's for their own benefit.. why should I be the only UNSELFISH one?? why should I always be the "ms. nice" girl who gets taken advantage of??

yah, one could blame me and call me stupid for letting ppl use me, but HONESTLY, there's nothing wrong w/being nice, just when IDIOTS like you don't appreciate that there's ppl like me, and takes advantage of a nice gesture! .. and usually something like this.. would turn someone into the B*tchach that they are to be..and then YOU turn around complaining about how there's "no more" nice ppl ... LOL

but no.. i'm not going to be NOT nice because of some idiots.. cuz that's just whom i'm not.. I just hope you realize what selfish, self-centred human feces you are

everything is NEVER enough for you.. always NOT satisfied with anything..

and this has NOTHING to do w/whether i'm secure or insecure w/God...cuz don't you worry... I KNOW that God's the only one here for me..

don't know why i like to surround myself w/so much bull feces

I want to go back to Mexico

 

So I'm loving the song "Go on Girl" by Neyo.

Parts of Verse 1:
"I was the good guy
She was the bad girl
I'm thinking one girl
She thinking me, earl James and jimmy
Yep she had plenty
But love for me, she didn't have any

I was inviting, her into my heart
But she was out riding in some other man's car
She was my night time, thought I was her star
Guess I was wrong, but see I'm strong
Wont take long for me to move on"

My Version:
"I was the good girl
He was the bad guy
I'm thinking one guy
Hes thinking me, pearl, Jane and Mary
Yep he had plenty
But love for me, he didn't have any

I was inviting, him into my heart
But he was out riding in some other girl's car
He was my night time, thought I was his star
Guess I was wrong, but see I'm strong
Wont take long for me to move on"

Fav. part of the song
Not a single salty tear
Not a feeling in my chest
Baby I'm feeling no stress
I'm too fly to be depressed

Going to a funeral tomorrow. I must say, I haven't been to a viewing as relaxed and "light" as today's viewing. One of the grandkids had tried to force himself to cry, but couldn't. I think that's a good thing, cuz we all know he's with Him and where else better than that! :)

Think i'll be sleeping early today. Have to be at a funeral service by 11am in Ajax!! so FAR!!!!!

I hate feeling like this, even though I tell myself not to. Need to go to Mexico and swim with my fishES and YES i know it's just "FISH"...

UNTIL Christmas!!! I can't wait!!!!! and 2 more days and I'm FREE from work until school starts again!!! I'm so excited!!! Think i have a few more gifts to buy.. actually i still have quite a bit to buy, but i'm wondering if it's better to buy for them after Christmas because boxing day should be sweet w/our dollar being so strong.. maybe this year, I'll get more bargain buys!

think i may be going shopping tonight, well i have to.. LOL! have to get my rents, sister, uncle, aunts cousins, and a few friends more things.. *sigh*.. I think i might get it on christmas eve from 2-6pm, when everyone is at home preparing for dinner .. and i get my space and boxing day prices!!

I know a lot of ppl say shopping on Christmas eve is the worst thing to do because there's a lot of people, but I "beg to differ".

Working w/retail for two Christmases at Markville and w/the confirmation of my past manager, Christmas eve is the slowest from all holiday shopping.. that and new years eve.  Esp. around 3-6pm, you're lucky if you get 20+ browsing customer in your store/hr. and because of this, retailers usually start doing their markdowns at this time, which means boxing day sales at an earlier time w/less people.

So if you ask me what i'm dong on Christmas eve at 3-6pm, my answer would be... Shopping! :) AND AND.. if the stuff goes even LOWER on boxing day, there's a BEAUTIFUL thing call PRICE ADJUSTMENT!

I still can't wait for BOXING DAY though! :) maybe this year I'll go to heartland too..