| to die to live, a risk too great for one to reify
if to live is the goal, why should a man die
unless he's not alive and lives to die
an endless battle between guilt and pride
can't seem to blame himself for a lie
a lie to live and not to die
but would a lie be enough to survive
so he finds a lie and calls it truth asking it to fulfill and satisfy
for living to die he cannot deny aside from the lie, his own little lullabye
the times go by and he doesn't understand why and he sighes 'cause he lives to die but cannot cry
he hears it televised that you need hope to cry, but a life of lie can only try but the eyes will stay dry
he looks to the tide and says why God why
i try and can't see why you want me to die
is it really true or is it all just a ludicrous lie
if i die will i live or will i regret the day that i died...
- from the part i call 'a moment to decide'
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moving all the heavy luggage and furniture for the friend while the friend is away
I smile as I sweat, thinking about how the friend will react when he comes back
doing laundry and dishes when I go back home
thinking of all the days my mom did this for me
standing up against a crowd about a rumor of a friend
I think my friend will thank me one day
letting my friend win a race to cheer him up
in my head I say, 'I hope he feels better'
wonder how many times my parents, brother, sister, and friends gave me a thought in this way...
probably more than i can imagine...
.....
claiming my death and taking the death penalty that was meant for me
and to know... He was thinking of me
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| i forget the feeling of ...
but i remember that it's worth everything
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memories..
