ARGHHH!

I want to hide from everything.... everyone.

I don't want to be a part of this world..

This hate.

This consuming fire of hell on earth.

Okay.  So here I am... where no one knows... to say something to the emptiness.

I.....    just want someone to be there.         I know how everyone says that we are strong, and that we have to find the strength within ourselves.   But when you are lost, so lost from yourself... from the world.  Sometimes, it can mean the world.....yes everything... for someone to just touch your face or look in your eyes.   Maybe not even say a word.   Just that moment of connection... that lets you know that you are not completely alone.  That in the vastness of reality, there is someone, who is willing to take the time to notice you, to see you as a person.... to care. 

I want to cry.   I want to trust someone enough to cry.   I want to bury myself into someone and actually be able to let myself go..... to cry and cry and cry.      I need to get this out... but there is no one.     No one.

Please come to me......  before I completely fall apart.

Heh....... have I become a coward?      Do I shrink away?    I fucking hate her for pissing off my friends.     for pissing off my best friend.     For yelling and screaming for no good reason just because she's all fucked up in the head.I hate her.       But I don't really do anything anymore.      I just can't I'm sick of being beat down.

No one really knows what goes on behind closed doors.

screw it.

just screw it.

forget you ever met me.

I'm depressed- yes.  I sit here, listening to the voices that tell me I'm nothing.  and I reach out to you, and you couldn't even give a shit.

and maybe I'm just a sad little girl who just can't deal with being alone in her room.

maybe I'm pathetic.

but that's me.

and I can admit.  I need someone.

and I would never give that up.