Loving, knowing that you are going to get hurt is like living knowing that you are going to die.
But now loving so you don't get hurt is like killing yourself before you die.
They are all related somehow, in which way hurts both in the end. So where should i start?
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I went to the doctors on wedensday for a blood sample. I just got back the results today. Apparantlly they can't find anything wrong with me. They say that results show that i'm perfectly fine. =S I was spitting out blood in front of my eyes and they can't even find whts wrong with me. man..its just not a good thing that the problem isn't showing on the results.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Been living for years now and lifes still the same; stressful and crazy. I try to develop positive life skills and try to stop being defensive about myself but i'm never setting down on any goals and i'm never gonna turn my life around. Keep getting the same school marks, never higher but always lower.
It feels like i can't even comprehend my own feelings anymore. its a complicated thing and noone understands or can even begin to see my level. Don't even wanna go there, i guess i just need to start building myself again, little by little, adding on more experiences..learn from my past. why am i being myself this way..it hurts like a bastard, sinks in deep, it doesn't enable me to regain faith. I need that special moment, miracle in life where everythign can run smoothly, where everythign can slow down so i can start living my life they way i want to, the way i dreamed of, the way it was said to be.
Thats my life...
[edit] April 10, 2004
You and Them
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered; forgive them anyways.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; succeed anyways.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyways.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, people may be jealous; be happy anyways.
The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow, do good anyway.
What friends you make today won’t last forever, but make friends anyways.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; but give the world the best you’ve got anyways.
You see, in the final analysis, it is you and God; it never was between you and them anyway.... | 
