My friend's rabbit died last night. I'm really saddened for her and for the loss. It reminds me of some of the stupid little shit that I always make a big deal over and I shouldn't.

Bonnie was a feisty bunny, with a hilarious attitude. Even though both Bonnie and Diva were never spayed, they got along pretty well. Despite Diva thumping her foot at Bonnie when she entered her cage, or when they chased and mounted each other.. lol... they still got along pretty fine. Diva would invite the chasing if anything by coming up to Bonnie. So funny. Diva knew that the little portable cage - her carrier - meant that she was either going to A) the vet to get nails clipped, or B) to Bonnie's for a play-date. She was reluctant to go in, or go out once we got there, but after about an hour had passed, Diva has gotten pretty comfortable in Bonnie's presence.

Rabbits, instinctively don't show signs of weakness or illness.. so they will most always look happy, appear fine and dandy, and act carefree, when inside, they know something is very wrong. Rabbits don't get sick easily, but when they do, it's almost always fatal. In Bonnie's case, I suppose it was the latter. I'm not really sure what was the cause or how something like that can happen, though my friend says it's not uncommon.. it's still something that boggles my mind as to how it happens.

I'm so scared by this that I'm gonna go get Diva spayed asap, which would probably be in about a month or so. She's truly my baby and I don't know how my friend is doing at all.. I feel so bad on so many levels. I just can't imagine how it would be if I were in her shoes, I seriously would lose a lot of myself. I'd call in at work for a few days. I wouldn't go as far as getting plot of land at the pet cemetery, but I would definitely mourn for quite some time. "Just a pet" some say, and those that say it really don't know how to love their pets, if they have them at all. I don't have kids of my own, and I don't have a significant other.. I have my nieces, who I love to bits and I have my baby - Diva. She's the one that's really there all the time for me and I really don't want to be in my friend's shoes at any point between Saturday night and Sunday morning...

Diva's running around right now as I type this. I let her run around.. she goes around.. on my bed... but she goes off quick cuz she knows she's not supposed to be on there. She even makes eye contact before attempting to jump on. She knows better. It's a game for her, to be caught on my bed and them jump high and mightily off onto safe ground.

I'm not sure how much she is aware, of how much I love her. Maybe she thinks I love her a little bit enough to let her play on my bed, or enough to get food every morning.. Or maybe she thinks she's the luckiest rabbit in the whole world that she lives a pet's life of constant petting, grooming, free food and hay, and play time under, around and on my bed. One thing's for sure, I don't know how much she loves me back.. I can't quite tell.. but I know she loves me a good amount.. she trusts me highly.. to brush her fur, groom her, brush her butt where things get gross and matted.. to wet her ears when it's hot (maybe she loves me for helping her cool off at all!), .. she trusts me to play with her ears and to flop down right in front of my dad.. she's so funny. I'd definitely lose a lot of myself if she were to suddenly have some sort of complications. Like I said, I don't have anyone else but my nieces, and they're still my nieces.. they're not my own kids.. Diva, is my own.

RIP Bonnie. I'm sure you're up in bunny heaven hopping and binkying around like when you first came to your new home. binkying uncontrollably and insanely curious about all your surroundings. Diva will meet you there one day.. I just hope not someday soon. But when that time comes, you guys can chase each other and flop in each other's homes and chin each other's food bowls and water bottles all you want.. and share bottomless loads of hay and food. But most of all - treat treat's and yum yum's. RIP Bonnie.

Our "For Sale" sign officially went up today at the house. I'm really worried about what's going to happen in the next few months or so.. I'm hoping the house doesn't get sold.

In either scenario.. all I could really worry about, is my dear Diva. Where she would live.. I HAFTO take her with me.. I can't bear the thought of leaving her behind at a shelter, or giving her away. No one will ever love her as much as I would.

Oh hell I tear up with just the thought of if I ever have to do it.. and I go and give her a hug and some hardcore petting.. and somehow, she senses my sadness in my eyes and in the strain in my voice as I say her name... and she snuggles up in my arm and to my hands.. and allows me to stay like that... until I go back to what I was doing, or until she senses that everything is alright again.

Animals are so intuitive.

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Oh Diva.. look at how small you were. You used to fit in the palm of my hand. That litter box was thrice your size.. You were scared and sulking in the cage.. not exploring around nor were you fond of me petting you or touching you. Now you've grown up big and you're very happy. You nestle in my hands as I pet you, and you allow me to massage your cheeks and ears. You get giddy when I shake a banana chip at you, and thump when you sense danger. You tried to protect me as best as you could, and you always looked at me when I called your name. I would hate to see you or your life unhappy. You're such a happy bunny. And that litter box? You're the same size as it is now.. and of course, you don't fit in it to go poo/pee anymore. =P I refuse to give you up that easily. Wherever I go, you will go too. I'll be here even when I'm in my 30's and I have a pet rabbit.. you'll be more than just a pet to me.

,
your owner & best friend.