djmgyx's Xanga

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 12:19:41 GMT

How secure do you think you are?

So how do you know someone is reading your email without you knowing?

    1)       Simple invest less than $15 and register a domain name that has something to do with them

    2)       Put a simple website about them of course (good or bad)

    3)       Don’t tell anyone about it.

    4)       Wait for them to call (usually within 3 hours of the domain being registered and site being uploaded, you will likely get a call/email/text message with you whining like a baby that you put a picture of them online that you got from another website without their permission and threatening to call a lawyer about the whole ordeal, claiming slander.

This is what happened with lazyliz.com, now you may be wondering “well what if they just used Google the name or something similar and came across the website”. Good question and this will likely be the most common rebuttal when confronting this person as to how they found out. Well there are several reasons why this would not and can not happen, with the exception of one rare and I do mean rare situation.

1)      When a domain is registered, new domains and changes to domains may take up to 4-8 hours for .COM and .NET domains and about 24-48 hours for all other domain extensions to become effective. This is due to the number of networks involved, and the fact that those networks are controlled by several different agencies. This delay applies to all domains and all Registrars and is called Domain Propagation.

     a.      Thus finding the site by guessing that it’s registered simply wouldn’t work as the Internet would not be updated and would not have a record of where the domain needs to go, for at least the 1st few hours.

     b.      A 2nd point on this would be, why? Why would you be looking for a domain of this nature in the 1st place unless of course you were trying to cover your ass about something?

2)      When you register a domain an email is sent to your account notify you of the registration and any subsequent changes to the domain, such as adding a set of name servers. Name servers are the servers that a hosting provider uses to connect your domain with the hosting space being used to showcase your website.

     a.      Once again, this can only be seen after the domain is propagated

     b.      Once again only one email is sent to confirm the change

     c.      If the domain is registered with privacy or through a Proxy service, only the Registrar’s company information

It’s pretty safe to say that the only way they would find out is either with unauthorized access to the email account used to confirm the domains registration or direct unauthorized access to the user account used to register the domain name to begin with.

What does this mean; it means that someone has either brute forced their way into one or both of these accounts to which I own and even possibly more.

You may be asking yourself “Well how does that have anything to with anything”, well when the person calls you to bitch about the site you registered claiming they are going to call a lawyer, this is your defense, amongst many others that are commonly available.

    1)       The views and opinions expressed on the site are simply that views and opinions, there’s nothing wrong with that.

    2)       If a picture is used on the site, that is already readily available on the internet there’s not much room for the use of the picture on another site, especially if the site is hot linked (meaning the picture is not on the same server the site is being hosted on, but rather html code is used to reference back to the original location of the picture in order for it to be displayed). Most free hosting servers don’t like people to do this as it eats up bandwidth if the picture becomes popular.

And how could this possibly have happened, quite simply…

…I made the mistake of logging into to my accounts from a computer that has, not once but several times had its security measures compromised with items such as “key loggers” and “password decryption software”, previous to my use of it.

Granted the initial purpose of these programs is to keep an eye on what transpires on your computer when others use it, basically it’s meant to keep the system its installed on safe, however thee person in question took it upon themselves to invade the privacy of those around her and used it for her own gain and knowledge.

This information was confirmed using the same technology but housed, secured and operated by service in which I have paid for, mainly my domain registrar and my email provider. One of the benefits of paying for services I suppose.

Each time you log into a web based email account your IP address is logged onto the services main server. This is used for several reasons, but mainly to prevent people form logging into the same account form multiple locations trying to hide their true location. This is why you can’t log into yahoo messenger from one location and then again from another, same goes for AIM.

Now that this person has accessed my email and /or my registrar account I can only assume she has access to other sites/services as well.

As I stated before this is not the 1st time this person has done something like this, and ironically, she would have no idea on how to do any of it if it weren’t for a few of us showing her how to do it to begin with. Though I used to a very vengeful person, some years ago I realized it does more harm than good, and with that caveat I told her that if she persisted and what she found was an amusing thing to do it would come back to haunt her, as you can see years later it has.

You see I can change my passwords, because she never locked me out of the accounts, she only used the information within them, I can even move accounts into other locations, but a website, showcasing ones level of intelligence or lack thereof, after trying to demean others because she is unhappy, and unfulfilled in life, that will go alot longer, and with no repercussions as the information provided is of a general consensus and not based on one’s sole opinion, and that is why when all is said and done, LazyLiz.com will continue to be there, shining it’s bright light exposing the hidden truth, that for those that sit around doing nothing but bashing others; by practicing their witty responses all day as to be perfectly timed to whatever posing questions that could possibly be asked of them; that in the end they still look like a fucking idiot, who sits around being a lazy ass all day, spending other peoples money and trying to live life through talking about other peoples lives instead of living your own.

Friday, September 10, 2004

Fri, 10 Sep 2004 20:32:04 GMT

Ahhh..All my images are gone...hmm guess that suxz..anyway peep out my real site at http://djmgyx.net

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

Wed, 08 Oct 2003 13:27:45 GMT

Jus thought I'd drop in to see if this thing still worked, and well...it does

Friday, March 14, 2003

Fri, 14 Mar 2003 07:45:52 GMT

No I'm not dead just busy with other ish, like finishing part2 of The Darkest Hour, a new job that has me up at the ass crack of dawn, and of course my main time consuming project http://php.djmgyx.net, my newest website, or what will soon be my main site. So go peep it put check out some of the features, and sign up as a member, yes it's free.

Saturday, February 01, 2003

Sat, 01 Feb 2003 04:07:47 GMT

Back from the dead, prolly not the best title for this, in more ways than I can really think of, but nonetheless, the only appropriate one I could think of at the time.

So you’d think I’d have plenty of time to post since I was out of work, by on the contrary, I was quite busy. So picking up from where I left off before. Sunday and Monday, I was busy updating my resume for the most part, until I decided to go get a haircut, seeing as I had no idea when I’d be able to afford another one, be fresh on the unemployed side of the spectrum of things. My barber is one of the only 2 I’ve had since I moved to Arizona over 15 yrs ago, and was trained for the most part by my original barber, before he moved to the East Coast.

Anyway I told them all about being dismissed and how it ironically coincided with my braids, which even more ironically coincides with the fact that when I got them done, I had a feeling I would be without a job within a week. So I let them know, and before long was getting my fade redone. Gemini then asked if I had anytime to work on site for him and his crew, of course I had time I didn’t have a job.

Then I went home and emailed Ray, my contact at the temp agency to make sure he received my updated resume, to which he confirmed and told me he was in the process of emailing the company as we spoke, and that he’d give me call back as soon as he heard anything. I then called and told Sean the news about the site design when I was interrupted by my caller id, it was Ray.

Apparently within 5 minutes of reading my resume the company anted an interview and was calling via Ray to find out if I was available for the next day. Now granted I was happy and surprised at the response, but a little disappointed at the fact that no one seemed to remember the fact that I had no job, and nothing but time on my hands, thus why would they keep asking if I had time to do anything, especially Ray for that matter.

So all in all I was jobless for 72hrs. I went to the interview, which I didn’t think went all that well but apparently did, and decided to drop the roomies work, to “holla”. I also decided to apply with their company as well, in case the Go Daddy, the 1^st company failed to go through. So I sat and filled out their online resume after watching a few others complete theirs, who had started before me. One thing that stood out was the response from the receptionist that she gave everyone.

“We’ll pull your application off the system, and be in contact with by email or phone to let you know”

Figuring I would get the same blow off routine as everyone else, I didn’t even bother to let her know I was finished, and simply asked if there was anything else I needed to fill out, in case I missed anything. She then paused for a moment and told me to stay there, as she went and did something. She returned a few minutes later and sat down in front of me and started typing away, continued to do so for about 3-4 minutes. The without even really looking at me she print s up my application, scans it for a few minutes, asks me a few questions, mind you still not really looking at me, then tells me to come back the next day for a face to face interview.

A little surprised at the way she went about things, but even more so over the fact that she told everyone else they would email or call them, and she tells me to come back the next day. So I took it all with stride and continued on my way to the other building to pester the roomies for a few minutes and then headed back to the apartment. On the way Ray calls me and tells me Go Daddy was making an offer for me, and of course I accepted it, and promptly went into details on what I needed to do and when I’d get my last check from UOP, he gave me everything I needed and I went home work on the site.

Wednesday I had to drive down to the west side of Phoenix which is am drive and half from the east side, where we live and made arrangement to pick up “B” on the way back to my hood. I had to drive to that side because Natural Data’s office is way the hell out there and I had to fill out a few papers and take a drug test. On the way back I scooped B and chatted with a few of the remaining homies at UOP, I was a little pissed that some of my old team had fucked with “B”, and of course he tad bit traumatized over it but well off nonetheless.

Now we’re up to Wednesday of that week, and pretty much spent the entire time working on the site. I’m currently drawn between the following

1) Do the entire site in Flash, as one huge as movie

2) Do the entire site in flash with multiple movies

3) Do the site in all HTML

4) Do the site with a mix of HTML and Flash

And as far as Flash is concerned, I mean by using Swish, and not anything like FlashMX or Director. So far I think I’m going to go with option 2, since getting everything to move the way I want it is going to be a bitch in Swish and I don’t want to go through the hassle of Installing FlashMX and learning how to use it in great detail, while learning my new job.

The weekend was the usual, with the exception of a new digital camera, and the fact that some of the girls almost got into a fight while we were kicking it at Denny’s at the end of the night. And of course the big debate on whether I had a technical job, or a sales job. The reason for this was because the job profiles, lists the position at $12.00 hr, plus commission. However, when Ray told me about the job, he explained it was a technical job, with a sales aspect. My assumption was that it was mainly going to be tech support, with the option of upgrading with no real, quota or demand, kinda like Cox.

Now that I’m 3 days into training, it’s been made abundantly clear that the position is really 30% tech support and %70 sales, which honestly scares the shit out of me, because I was never thought I was good at sales. However everyone I know thinks I should do it, and that I’ll be good at it, whether that’s a canned “friends” answer or the honest opinion is up for grabs.

The benefits so far are definitely the pay, as well as some free software, and a free hosting account for as long as I work there. The dress code is great, simply because there really isn’t one, except for no hats, and no “ho-wear”, so I get to sport the jeans and LUGZ, daily. The only real drawback, are my own doubts on my sales ability, and the fact that I’m now working 7-3:30, which is a complete 180 from what I’ve been working the last 6yrs, I’m on an awkward Sunday through Thursday shift, and the fact even though I’m off on Saturday, I can’t really go out, simply based on the fact that we never get home before 2am, and I have to be at work at 7am.

Now granted by their numbers and records, which we got to see today, shows good signs that the daily quota of $300, per day is easily met, it’s still possible not to hit them, and if you fail after 2 wks you’re put on probation, in which you only have to meet ½ of the quota for 2 more wks, if you fail either the 1^st or the 2^nd, as the sales manager put it “You know where you parked you’re car”. However if you make that ½ mark for 2 wks and then drop off again, within a certain time period there’s no probation, there’s just the door.

My plan so far, “not to even think/worry about it”, and just see what happens the 2nd week, as any sales we do during our 2^nd wk of floor training, we’re currently in classroom training now, won’t count, and should be a good gauge of how I’m doing. Even so the entire process takes 6 wks even if you fail everything, in which you’re still paid your hourly rate, and when released you’ll still get a small compensation bonus.

Back form my little 4 day break from typing this big ass post up but hey like anyone really noticed.

It’s Friday now, and I’m done with training, by trainer Nate, pulled me aside this morning from everyone else, since the recent ax’ing at UOP I was a tad bit shell shocked still, assuming something bad was getting ready to transpire, but to my surprise it was just the opposite. While everyone else was doing reviews of how to use the interface of the site my trainer advised me that he thought I knew more than enough to hit the floor and start taking calls.

Now granted taking calls isn’t really a big thing, but oddly enough the 1^st day or 2 at a new place still causes those 1^st day jitters You’d get back in elementary school. So without for ado, he told me to grab my stuff and lead me to the lion pit. I sat with one guy for a few minutes and didn’t sell shit, hell I didn’t even pitch shit, and I realized they never really went over how to actually pitch people the products/services we offer. Granted 30% of the people calling are calling top buy shit, the other 70% aren’t, so I was a little water logged when I couldn’t even begin to close calls, because by the time I got into saying my stock, “ Is there anything else I can help you with”, I was realizing I wasn’t selling anything and I was simply doing tech work, and easy tech work at that.

So I told the guy I who was listening to my calls, to hop back on and give me some examples of sales pitches they commonly used. All the other calls I had heard in the week no one was selling anything so I needed some examples, being this was my 1^st sales job. It didn’t take long and within a call or 2 he had a sale, it wasn’t anything big, since they were calling to buy service anyway, so I was still a bit lost.

We took both took a lunch break and I headed out back to smoke, and of course people were coming out and talking about their calls, and within prolly 10 minutes I had a good grasp on how to pitch at least a few items, and it’s something I’ve always known, “people are sheep, and those that don’t know shit about the net are so paranoid, they will blow any little thing negative about it into a global catastrophe”, therefore, I simply played into it, as well as I should I know 1^st hand what little kiddie script phreak can do alone, not to mention someone, who has some good kung fu, and ill intentions.

I hoped back on the phone, still a little nervous, so I let him take another 2 calls, and still couldn’t shake the jitter feeling, until I remembered a line that kept being repeated in the book I had read “Who Moved My Cheese”, “ if you had no fear what would you do?”. Going on the presumption I had absolutely nothing to loose, I simply blocked it all out and took over answer the calls, and running the system, hell if I’m gunna do this, I might as well, jump in head 1^st and deal with anything unknown under the water, if and when I need to.

The 1^st call went the same as the others, only because it was a reseller and there really isn’t anything we can sell them, or that we’re allowed to pitch to them by legal contract. I took 5 more calls before it was time to go home, for the day, out of those 5 I sold to 3, of which one was on the verge of purchasing 5yrs of hosting, until the sales manager came over and told me to try and sell them something else as well, which led the guy to having to talk with his wife about it, which in turn after 30 minutes turned into me selling only 1 yr of hosting and 2 software programs we offer. No instead the wife decided to go with a yr and instead of 5, which would have met my daily quota for 2 days, and would have been the largest sell of the day, not to mention the fact that If I had completed the deal with the husband before mentioning the software, I could have closed the hosting deal, and then talked to his wife and closed the 2 software packages as well. Of course this didn’t happen because I had Sales manger, hovering over me, whispering to sell the software, while reaching over and grabbing the mouse to bring up the software page.

Now I know this is my 1^st day selling shit, but damn I know when I have someone closed, his little stunt just phucked it all up. But oh well, I don’t get commission on the sales I do the next week and a half anyway as I’m in training. Besides i was happy at the fact that in 6 calls I had still already made $220 of my require $300 per day quota, which tells me that I don’t think I’ll have a problem doing this job well enough to stay hired on, if not well enough to start making some well needed extra $$$$ on top of my regular check.

The only thing that really sucks about the job and it’s prolly the sleep depravation speaking here, but the fact that I have to be up at 5:30 am and out the door by 6am, when I just came off of 5 yrs of night shifts, really sucks. I figure change is good, and if I really can’t handle the hours there doesn’t seem to be a problem with me changing shifts, so I’ll try and stick it out as much as I can for now.

Oh yeah I almost forgot, the reason I said “Back From the Dead” is prolly not the best title is because I found out over this week who the guy was that died the week before I was released from UOP, and though putting his name here really wouldn’t be of any issue, and you see why in a moment when I explain.

Brandon was a pretty kewl guy I didn’t talk or hang out with him that much, but on the occasion that we ran into each other during a break or lunch it was usually hilarious, talking shit about our day and the idiots calling in. Well Brandon has a problem that required some form of medication, well the Sat before I was released Brandon was released, in the exact same manner, however Brandon was a depressive, in a sort of way, and he didn’t take it so well. He didn’t take it so well that he decided to do the only thing he could do, have some fun and return to his alter persona of Ripper, on IRC that day, and maybe hope things got better…or maybe not.

In the course of an hour maybe more maybe less, Ripper consumed the following:

Ø 80mg Methadone

Ø 8mg Klonopin

Ø 120mg Restoril

Ø 1.5gm KB (Form of weed)

Ø 4 gm Mersh (East cost term for weed)

Ø 160mg Inderal

Ø 2gm Mescaline

**All the while washing it all down with a bottle of 151**

Now some people think oh what a loser, or whatever, but think back to Columbine, and what was found on the net later. Brandon took one step further, granted he was alone in the confines of his room, he was at the same time surrounded by many of his good friends, online friends, some local, some as distant as Switzerland. You see Brandon did all this while chatting on IRC, and to give that extra kick, he was running his web cam server and had setup a bot to display the address to anyone that typed any of many words he had pre-selected, as well as giving it out freely himself.

There used to be, no there still is a some what un written acknowledgement in the net world that most people that threaten suicide in chat rooms, are simply doing it for attention, which is obvious, why else would you tell someone what you’re going to do, versus just doing it and leaving a note. If you tell someone, it’s a sign of reaching pout for an excuse for yourself not to, i.e. garnishing something that will gain everyone’s attention that you approach.

The fact is that the sheep of society have now learned/infected most of the net, and thus seem to have turned this form of reaching out for attention into something so generic, that it’s commonly used by bored lusers (and yeah I spelled that correctly LUSERS), who simply can’t get anyone in a chat room, web/bullietin board to talk to them. Unfortunately this process has masked the true nature of this beast and clouded the waters so much there is no distinct way to tell unless you actually know the person in R/T (real-time) or have ways of your own of telling.

Some of Rippers friend saw it; yet, they were too far away or didn’t have what they needed to help him out. Brandon consumed all that was listed above and never awoke to see the next day, all while be taunted and warned in a IRC chartroom, and broadcast a live video feed of all of it over the internet.

The links embedded in his real name are to the online obituary published locally here at the Arizona Republic, the other under the pseudo Ripper is to a dedication site his brother created in memory of him, that include the IRC chat logs during the event and his friends reaction afterwards. I suggest reading them, the next something like this comes your way, you may think twice about turning a blind virtual eye, or better yet, if you reading this and like to use the little “I’m going to end it All” tactic just to occupy someone attention for 4 hrs in a chat room, how bout getting a little imaginative and coming up with something other than crying wolf. Somebody else may actually be in need that attention a tad bit more than you.

Wednesday, January 29, 2003

Wed, 29 Jan 2003 00:44:01 GMT

Well it seems, I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, and maybe, just maybe gosh darn it; certain people just don’t like me…

Saturday morning…

I woke up to a noise, not any distinctive noise just some random noise going off around me. Unfortunately I was unable to regain enough consciousness to determine the exact was the cause of the noise, because by the time I did it has already ceased. Annoyed by this I promptly fell back into my Nyquil doze.

Saturday afternoon…

Finally feeling the effect of the over the counter meds wearing off, and with the urge to urinate, I finally decided to get out of bed and see what the roomies were up to. As I made my way back and bumped the mouse on my system to bring it out of sleep, I noticed I had missed a few calls. None of them truly important, simply because no one left any voice messages, so of course I ignored them figuring they would call back if they really needed me. Besides out of the 3 calls missed the only one I recognized was my roommate’s cell, and I already had an assumption to what that was.

The night before they had gone out, and had asked me to use my digital camera and without much thought I simply grunted that they could, as I waited for the final hours of my work day to wear away at my soul. The only question they asked at the time was if it needed batteries and I simply grunted that it likely did and they happily went on their way to a Friday evening of fun. Unfortunately I had felt like crap all day Friday and was well on my way to a medicine buzz when all of this occurred and completely forgot to tell them to make sure the memory stick was in the camera or at least to grab it from the desk, as I was unsure of where exactly it was. I also suppose they probably should have checked themselves as well, but then again if you ask to borrow someone car, do you normally ask if there’s gas in it. Okay maybe some people do, either way, they took off for the night with camera sans memory stick.

So I get home Friday and crash as soon as I walk in the door, I think it was a few hours later, maybe it was the next morning I’m not quite sure, one of them called to ask about the camera and I told them they forgot the memory stick, the rest is simply a blur or more or less a low rumble, as that was about the time I rolled over onto my phone and fell asleep as such.

Back to the story…

Figuring they were calling to hassle me about that night I ignored the call, assuming they would be home with a few hours and I’d hear it then, so why bother calling to hear it. I went about my day mainly taking more meds to try and clear my sinuses, when I think I faintly hear my phone ring again. It turns out I forgot to change it to it’s normal settings so in it’s present state I can barley hear it even if it’s in front of me, of course trying to locate it is more hassle than it as worth and I ignore it as well, until I realize it may be by friend Gemini, trying to call about the site I’m doing for him. So about 2pm I finally grab my phone and scroll through the #’s and call one of the unknown ones back. As I dialed I felt a sense of aw come over me, but didn’t really pay to much attention to it, until after the conversation, and realized it was somewhat déjà vu to a dream I had last week.

I get a male voice on the other line that I don’t recognize and think “Great I just called a fucking telemarketer back or some bill collector”, but to my surprise I was greeted with a “Hey Terrence, this is Ray”, a short pause follows after he realizes I don’t know who the hell he is and he adds “over at Natural Data”. Now I knew I was kind of out of it the majority of the week with massive sinus buildup, and headaches and the overall aching feeling but I knew it was Saturday and I knew my time card didn’t have to be in till Monday, so I knew what was next.

Contact at temp agency

“Yeah I heard you weren’t feeling to hot this week”

“Yeah allergies”

“Yeah I got them myself”

“Yeah it’s kind of funny you called, I was just looking for your number”

“Really, why?”

“I’ll tell ya in a second, so what’s up?”

“Well it looks like UOP is doing some restructuring and…”

Figuring he knew that I knew at this point as was hoping I would save him from having to actually say it, but hey he’s the one getting paid to do this right, best he actually work for the chump change their giving him

“…And it looks like they’re going to be terminating your contract with them”

“Really, did they say why exactly?”

“No, they didn’t, do you think you know why”

“Interesting really, yeah I have a good idea it had to do with my manager telling Dennis they either need to hire me on fulltime or let me go and stop stringing me along”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean my stats have been at the top of that department for months now, yet because I don’t hang out with the clique, I’ve been turned down for every opening I’ve been over qualified for and have yet to be hired on. I also find this somewhat ironic and especially after last weekend incident. All of which started happening when I stopped hanging out within a few of the managers after work”

“Yeah I heard about that?”

“Oh and the reason I was looking for your number was to get placed somewhere else, because I knew they weren’t going to hire me after the let JR and Tom go, and ran Omar out by scheduling him shifts he couldn’t work due to his family needs. I’m the last one of the free thinkers left, so I figure they thought it best to get rid of me now, than hire me and have to really fight to get rid of me later”

Everything after that was just your standard bs, of “Get me another job” and “We’ve got some projects coming up”.

So that was how my lovely weekend started, and I say lovely in a good way. I’ve been looking for reasons to get out and get another job, and get away from such a infestation of political backstabbing and ass kissing, which I understand is everywhere, but damn, that was too small to have the amount of bullshit that was there. And oddly enough even though I fired, I was technically not fired, since I was never hired to begin with and it was a temporary contractual position, and even more peculiar was the huge amount of relief I felt knowing that on Monday I don’t have to walk into that hell hole of fake smiles, and handshakes again. The only bad thing is that I had to give up “B”. I suppose I didn’t have to, but I figure I’d let my friend Anthony take care of him and keep him company.

Okay so as soon as I get off the phone, what do you think is the 1^st thing I did?

Call my mom…nope

Call my friends…nope

Call my old manager…nope

I checked for network access, and sure enough like the dumbasses they are, they’ll likely to wait till Monday to revoke it, if even then. Now how stupid is that? Why would you fire, not a tech guru, but someone who know how your shit works and then not delete their accounts immediately afterwards or even beforehand, since apparently they had this planned for Friday. Sure enough all my accounts are still there and active, so I proceed to download all my folders onto my home system. Unfortunately one form of bypassing big brother security there, back fired in this scenario, as I keep all my personal corporate mail in a password protected .pst file stored locally on the drive and not in the main location of my default profile for Outlook, thus making it impossible to get the files remotely via the Outlook Web Access portal I was using.

No worries, I made a quick call to Anthony who will be working tomorrow, and made arrangement for him to upload the file into my staff exchange account and allowing me to pull it directly from the account I setup on my home system as well. Outside of that the only thing I’m worried about is getting my speakers and CD’s from my desk.

I see this has a blessing in disguise, okay more like a bull horn blowing in my ear telling me “the cheese here is old and moldy and you really don’t want it, it’ll make you sick and disgusted with the world”. Which is true, because the only reason why I stayed there was because of the fact that “if” I were ever hired, I could go to school for free, but alas, I’d rather shell out some ends to get a real degree, and save my sanity at the same time. Yeah it’s weird how I always seem to take jobs that drive me crazy after 9 months.

Thus far only 2 people have asked why I haven’t done something in retaliation to them, but like my banner says, ‘Life bring hope and pain, but revenge will never bring redemption”, So even though I have access to over 150,000 user accounts at this moment, and a simple click or 2 of the mouse could severely infect their already unacknowledged to the world servers, I shall simply refrain from such manners and simply leave them with a letter. A letter that may or may not be sent, and if sent, will be sent only I have acquired all of my possession form them. In its current states it’s still a bit rough around the edges and not as punchy as I’d like it to be, but I’ll post it here anyway for everyone’s reading enjoyment.

Well it’s been fun, it’s been real, but not real fun. It appears that though my stats were in the green for more than a number of months that UOP has decided not to hire me on as a permanent employee, and to boot has also terminated my contract with Natural Data.

Am I surprised about this, not really, shocked that they would continue to utilize such inhumane and morally inept tactic, after this last weekends incident. Oh wait some of you may not know this, but another person’s contract was terminated as well, last weekend, yet that person apparently chose other ways to deal with the shady aspect that UOP seems to adhere to. I guess neither one of us, drank enough, partied, enough, kissed enough/sucked enough to warrant being in the UOP clique.

The main reason I’m not surprised is after a fellow co-worker here and at another job, in which we carpooled was terminated nearly 4 months after an incident that was labeled as a warning to all, seeing as it was never mentioned that actually fixing someone’s system resulted in termination. The 2^nd incident came when another co-worker was for the most part ran out of UOP, I could trace back incident throughout my 15 months here, but what truly stands out is the countless speeches in which Dennis Meyers repeatedly stated “I don’t see why any one of you couldn’t become a permanent employee in time” , what Dennis fails to state is that to become a permanent employee, you either need to be able to go out and drink with all the right people, sleep around with just enough of the right people, and above all, kiss/lick the asses of all the people.

Either way, eventually the vices of the UOP technical department will come to light and those actions will come back to them 10 fold, although realistically since society seems to be made up of sheep that simply follow the aimless herd, I doubt this will come forth in a bad manner, and just like corporate America they will deny any wrong doing, just as they did when the UOP servers were infect with the Klez and Nimda viri.

In closing I hope you all enjoy the time you have here, and for the temps getting comfortable in whatever chair you may be sitting in today, just be sure to keep and eye over you shoulder, because you’ll never know when there just happens to be no more chairs left for you to sit in, and no their will be no one their to guide you on your way no Dennis, no Lucas, and definitely no Scott James, no you’ll be awaken on nice Saturday morning with birds chirping and kids abound playing to Ray Akers, calling you to let you know your contract is being terminated for an unknown reason.

As you read this, just think the queue is climbing, and just maybe with a bit of compassion UOP may actually decide to acknowledge the issues they have to their student and faculty members, and thus prompt them to actually work to a feasible resolution rather than a temporary fix to hold it together for the next 5 yrs. But we all know this won’t happen and they will simply continue to brain wash their staff, student and faculty members with Krispy Kreme Donuts, generic sodas, and crappy Hungry Howies 3 day old Pizza leftovers.

Take care, have fun, and remember

The queue won’t be there forever; you have to go home sometime Arizona state law says so!

And for those wondering why I don’t start a website about how shady this place is, well there’s no need to, one already exists here!

Saturday, January 18, 2003

Sat, 18 Jan 2003 01:33:46 GMT

It’s Friday, I’m stuck at work, my sinuses refuse to drain, forcing me to take cold and Flu meds, to try and alleviate the pressure, unfortunately it doesn’t work and only makes me feel like I have the flu or the cold overall like shit. Now I seek one thing, that one and only savior of all that ails me, my half bottle of Rum, a full bottle of Nyquil, my bed, and a combination of Norah Jones and Jill Scott playing as I drift off to never-never land, hopefully to return sometime Saturday with if not full, then ¾ breathing ability.

Friday, January 17, 2003

Fri, 17 Jan 2003 03:13:13 GMT

1^st off props to TurboGrimmy on the book he recommended to me, that goes along with the great epiphany we came up with last night. The book is called “Who Moved My Cheese” and I think it’s something everyone should read at least once, it’s not a huge novel or anything and it actually says from the start it’s a parable.

I won’t get into the jest of everything it covers but, I highly recommend it, especially if there is something missing or unhappy in your life at the moment.

Now a lot of people may take the last post as a cynical or pessimistic statement, but in reality it’s just as a previously stated an epiphany, and “eye opener”. Last night Grimmy and I were sitting around kicking it and realized that our lives are not as they used to be and that we both wanted to go back to those times. But we realized that is something we can not do, but what we can do is find that catalyst that made our lives better at those times and reincorporate it into our existing lives

I’m tired…

I’m tired of the same humdrum bullshit everyday, the same people everyday, the same everything everyday, I need a change. I’m tired mentally and physically, I need...no I want a challenge

I’m bored…

The 2 words my best friends used to hate hearing come out of my mouth back in the day, because when I’m bored I’m really bored, and only something in the extreme nature, that challenges my mind, and possibly my body will break that rut of bored, that I find myself swimming in daily.

I’m not having fun anymore…

Plain and simple, I’m simply not having fun anymore, not to say I never have fun, but I’m saying I don’t have nearly as much as I used to, I want that back in my life, I need that back in my life.

Why?

Why or what made all these things that are no longer present in my life go away or diminish, simple the darkest hours of my life did. Everyone has them, it’s human nature, though I don’t know of many people that are specifically writing a book about like I am, but nonetheless we all have them. The darkest hour is just as it says, it’s that darkest point in our lives, where the light that we all strive for doesn’t extinguish, but is barley visible, it’s far off in the distant, out of immediate reach, making it seem almost impossible to regain it’s glow, and often times instilling the fear of having work 10times harder to regain it and the doubt of not reaching it again, thus diminishing the motivation to reach for it even further.

Why did I even bother to wake up…?

A question I found myself asking a lot, for a small period I wished every night that I would stay asleep and let the world move on without me for awhile, and simply leave me in the peaceful bliss of slumber. I need to find another reason to wake up, no matter what has happened in my life, and right now it’s to get back all that I lost, not tangibly but mentally, and emotionally I guess. I want the feeling of having something to look forward to in my day whether a significant goal to accomplish or to experience, as long as it’s different and its fun.

The problem

I’m tired…

I’m bored…

I’m not having fun anymore…

Why…?

Why did I even bother to wake up…?

The Answer

Because someone moved my cheese, and now I need to go find some more!

It’s Maze Time!

Thursday, January 16, 2003

Thu, 16 Jan 2003 20:18:30 GMT

I'm tired...

I'm bored...

I'm not having fun anymore...

Why?

Why did I even bother to wake up...

Wednesday, January 15, 2003

Wed, 15 Jan 2003 00:31:18 GMT

Why I do this

So last night the roomies, brought up the fact that I got some names wrong on my blog, and were curious as to how the hell I could do that, when on the very same bight I was writing about, I asked the person directly what their name was. Well easy I’m not good with names, especially ones I only meet 1 a week, and when I do meet them it’s in a loud club, and usually drinks involved, but that’s beside the point. The main item was of privacy, I won’t go into detail because it’s pointless, and I’ll just remove their names from future posts.

The big deal, which really wasn’t that big, but I’ve had a few people ask me, was why do I do web log, both of my roommates thinks it’s gay, and pointless, but for me, it keeps me sane, it keeps me from doing things I know I shouldn’t do but could do, mainly at work. Then the question of why I would put personal stuff about the apt on a webpage, and the following conversation ensued

(Please note that exact dictation of the conversation is not available and thus I will break this down into a some what suitable form to convey the general layout, and course of the conversation, these words are not exact!)

Roommate

Other roommate

Dude, why do you put shit that goes on here on your site? I think that’s fucked up and disrespectful.

Well seeing as it’s an online journal, I’m going to write about what happens.

Yeah but you don’t need to write about everything.

Your right but I write what I want and if it happens and I want to write about it then I will.

Well just don’t put people names in their, because some of them don’t want their shit spread over the net like that…

Okay that’s fine I won’t use their names then.

…and don’t use mine either.

Yeah or mine.

Fine that’s kewl, whatever.

No it’s not whatever, it’s disrespectful, and you’re dropping people names that don’t want to be dropped.

I wouldn’t say I’m dropping names; I’m trying to be accurate.

Yeah, but you asked that guy his name, that night and still got it wrong on your site.

Well then obviously I don’t know him that well to keep their names straight, I only see these people once a week in sporadic bursts, you guys see them all the time.

Well still why even put that kinda shit up there, or when shit goes down here why is it every time we have argument or some shit happens here, you put that shit on the net in your distorted view, like its news for the world to see.. I mean we obviously know more people come to my site than yours and that you 4 readers are likely to never meet us in person, but still, there’s no need to put personal shit up there, how would you like it if I put that shit on the front page of my site?

Well from now on, I won’t use anyone name, that doesn’t want it used, as far as whatever happens here, if it happens and I’m involved it’s going to be written about if I want to, it’s not some news site, it’s my site, that’s open for whoever to read. As for the distorted view, it’s written in my perspective therefore, it’s going to be my view, and obviously if we argued about something then are views are different to begin with, I wouldn’t put your distorted view of the situation on there, simply because I perceive it as being distorted and incorrect, and if I didn’t then obviously we wouldn’t have argued about it to begin with. As for if you put the same kind of shit that I write on your page, I wouldn’t care, I don’t care, write away if you want.

That’s bullshit and you know it, you would care!

Nope!

Shut the fuck up, no matter what you say I know you would!

Nope!

Okay I take part of that back, maybe a few years ago, I would care, but now I don’t, so if your basing that off the years you’ve known me then it’s accurate, but no longer applicable.

Whatever, say what you want, you would.

Dude if I gave a fuck about any of that shit, why the fuck would I be writing a book, why would I put the shit out there myself…”hello”...I wouldn’t!

Whatever, say what you want, you would.

I don’t give a fuck, that’s why I put it up there, but obviously yall don’t wanna be mentioned so I won’t put your names on anymore.

So I guess most people would wonder why I just don’t care about what anyone knows about me, simple, I had a life altering moment, actually several, that have accumulated over the years that has now changed the way I look at the world, and why I personally don’t think it really matters what people know of me and my life. Which is overall the reason for my book, not that I hope that millions read it, hell I doubt it’ll ever be published, but if it does, It won’t matter to me what people think of it, it wasn’t meant for them to begin with.

That seems to be a common thing I’ve noticed when I explain something that I do, or that I’ve done to someone, most of the time they are under the assumption, I did it with them or someone else in mind, which is not the case the majority of the time. The majority of the time when I do something, or did something I did/do it for myself, because I feel like it, or because I can. Nothing more, nothing less, it’s that simple. If in the course of doing so somebody gets pissed, life goes on, get over it, just remember, 90% of the time, it had nothing to do with you to begin with, so why get pissed off about it.

I’m not going to go into great detail about what caused this changed, simply because it would be pointless to write it here and then have to go back and import it into the book formatting that I already have started, I can say this it’s like the movie Contact. The main character experience something that changes the way she looks at life and the world around her, the experience itself is not to prove something cut and dry, it’s not to prove that one way is the way it should be or the way it has to be, but it does disprove that not every way or outlook on thing is the correct one. For me personally I’ve dubbed it “IDGAF (I Don’t Give A Fuck)”, this started some time ago as a weekend philosophy, but as been implement into a constant aspect, for now at least until things change or until another moment comes along and makes me re-evaluate things. I can’t explain it entirely, and that’s the reason why I’m writing the book and why I write this journal.