not done..but new xanga...1 2 3 go.

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=this_RomanceisBleeding

But me, im not a gamble,

you can count on me to split.

^{The love I sell you in the evening}

 by the morning will be gone.

i love this cd...im wide awake its morning..its so calming

I stayed home again today…

And I haven’t done anything. Cept sleep and enjoy my newly purchased cds.

Im glad tomorrow is Friday although I cant go out.

I think sat andrea and I are going on a date..but I had to swear I wouldn’t touch her…ha…my fingers were crossed.

Well…im confused. Again. And id love to say I don’t like it…

But I live for this stuff.

Now comment.

Every Sunday we’d drive to church

Because its Sunday and well, that’s  all.

Then id read my bible

I was told id find the answer,

But all I found was wasted ink.

And back in that Sunday school classroom

My conclusions didn’t go over so well.

A slap on the hand from my teacher in glasses

Assuring me…I was promised to hell.

So I said my hail mary’s

Kept it quiet and swallowed that which I was fed.

O God if this is what you want…im running the other way.

?

Loveyouall

 There is someone looking for what I concealed in my secret drawer,
in my pockets deep,
you will find the reasons that I can't sleep and you will still want me.
But will you still want me?

I was told I needed to update.

I guess this weekend was ok. Friday…eh my mom and I had it out. Not happy about that one.  But she let me go to laurens. We ate a lot and watched sex in the city.

I had to work sat. 8-3 and then I got ready and met andrea mikey and  Kevin at the mall. Where we had to leave because we weren’t 18?

Me and andrea then headed to a bar…yes a bar..for my step grandpa’s 90^th birthday party. We got free food..sat around and left.

Then we went to gregs where he jesse mikey Kevin and sibel were. I got to use the punching bag. Im telling you…im getting one. Me and Kevin went on a random walmart trip. I bought a coconut and whoppers.

We stayed up till 5 and andrea mikey and Kevin left. I then had to go get in bed with jesse…no not like that.

I need to study now…but I prefer to put it off. But I wrote a poem…read?

Cardboard cut outs.

          Dolls dolls dolls.

Pretty faced,           choked by pearls. Hung by lace.

     Hes in bed with the one he loves.

 Shes fucking a prize. Shes kissing the lie.

Mothers fawn over tiaras and grace.

 And 6 year old beauty queens living out their dreams.

Oh Vanity. Vanity. Your so pretty.

Comment.

Currently Playing Digital Ash in a Digital Urn By Bright Eyes see related

A look, A laugh,
A smile, A second,
Passes by and I regret it,
Words just aren't right,
Sometimes I just can't explain,
All the ways you devastate me

Well kids. This weekend has been interesting.

First it started with me begging to get off work on Friday… I ended up making  a deal…

Clean the restaurant..and 10 dollars. Meh o well.

So then I go to gregs where andrea mikey Kevin and some others were.

We didn’t do a whole lot.

But I made some cookies…they sucked…but that was not my fault. Hm.

Watched movies.

I got attacked.

Tickle wars.

Im uncomfortably confused by people.

I don’t like being led on. Because I follow far too easily what I know is probably fake.

O well. So Saturday…after a whole 3 hours of sleep..i get up and me and andrea drive to okc. Randomly. We eat lunch..look for a mall. Go see kyle. get shot a few times. And head home.

We then watched American history x for the 8^th time this week. And I fell asleep upstairs where I am certain there was ghost.

Anyway…as always I need to do some homework.

Don't make this harder than it already had to be,

Currently Watching American History X By Edward Norton, Edward Furlong see related

this is the dream i am dying in
i will wake to find tomorrow
be content without perfection
but if this is real then i was mistaken
and if the vision is gone then i was not aware

well last night me and andrea decided ihop sounded nice…

it is always interesting at 3 am

while we were there we decided to make a list of my “ideal boy”

and here it is:

-emotionally unstable

-easily controllable but still challenging

-dark hair

-likes arguing

-anti jealous…I hate jealousy.

-has similar taste in music and can introduce me to new music too.

-can hold a conversation.

-has a future…other than living at home or prison.

-not mushy…unless I want to be.

-cant drive an suv…gas whores.

-doesn’t mind me being late or not calling.

-shows passion about something and isn’t afraid to get angry and scream.

-someone who will teach me something I don’t already know.

So there it is. Surely someone out there has to be like that…right?

I put off all my homework…therefore I am doing that now.

Comment.

Love is the religion of the weak.