To quote Britney Spears....

"It's been a while."

8DDDDD; Sorry, it had to be done.

So um. HIIIIIII EVERYONE!~ I hope none of you have been missing me ever since my leave like... a year ago it feels. Actually, I secretly conceitedly hope you guys have, since that'd make me feel loved. However, seeing as I got less than ten comments in the past month (I just checked), I don't think that's the case. 8] But whatever.

I've been avoiding Xanga for the express purpose of having to get back on track, since it's just another added priority on my list. For those of you that've kept in contact with me through other methods (aka MyFace as my friend's mom so eloquently puts it), you know that I have gotten a life. It's crazy and a foreign feeling. >_<; Like, I actually have to do things now and get off my lazy butt, which means not much time for rotting in front of the computer.

...Actually that's a lie, I've still found time to rot, it's just on other sites plus AIM. :'D But anyway.

So what have I been doing allllllllll this time? Okay, so essentially every day has been devoted to Mock Trial--a cult I'm part of at school. I mentioned it a while back, but it's the sole reason I haven't been able to do ANYTHING Xanga- or design-related in the past few months! It's totally beyond words how difficult and time-consuming it is, since we analyze the smallest, most seemingly minute stuff in our case and take everything to the extreme. It's crazy. I have at least five MTT-related dreams a week, and I'm not exaggerating. Since my school's team is especially competitive, we've sweeped the county title and we're going to LA this weekend to compete for the state title. Exciting, no? :'D And after that there's Nationals in Deleware, but something tells me we won't get that far. T____________T;; And yeah.

E>

I also have to take care of the well-being of over twenty kids when we go to Fanime, apparently. And plan everything, since the vice pres of the club just left a few months ago and I wasn't aware of this until recently. Club shambles much? -____-; It's stressful. There's Cherry Blossom Festival coming up in less than a month, and I have to make sure other peoples' cosplays are ready to wear. I myself am screwed as is--I have to work with non-stretch VINYL (aka Fabric from Hell) to make a dress from no pattern, since there weren't any patterns my size, and you can't really modify an 8 down to 00. *(#@&$!

So. What else... Oh, another reason webdesign's come to a stop is because I killed my computer in late December. It was like THE worst day of my life; I mean, it didn't crash, but the fact that I'm pretty sure it was my fault pretty much ruins everything. I dunno though. I still have my old hard disk and my dad bought this thing so that I can access the files on it, but I still haven't gotten around to installing that or whatever. I have a new laptop now, but it's not the saaaameeee. #^#;; *angstflail* I have PhotoShop installed, but I barely have any brushes or textures. Which is why Synesthesia's currently half-dead. :[

...Fine, dead. But I'll revive it! >A<;; b

So honestly now. Ever since I started this whole anime interest, Xanga business and all of that, I've felt like I'm declining when I really should be becoming something more--everyone's always told me that I was a smart kid, and I was a few points short of attending the single most elite student programs/schools in the Chicago area back when I lived there. And I felt that getting into all of this computer stuff would bring me down, and honestly, it has--but I'll admit, I like it. I don't want to get into a  full-fledged rant (because honestly, it would take a while to unlodge everything that would need to be said), but yeah. Ever since I came into high school, I had a resolve to shape up so I could go to the Ivy League school I wanted.

Obviously, things haven't played out as I wanted them to, seeing that I was unintentionally made pres of the Anime Club, plus a number of other roles in the cosplay & convention community. I'm now hoping I can use those things to my advantage, because, even though I sometimes sit back and feel bad for "wasting my time" on such stuff because it can be immature sometimes, I know that I have a reason for loving it all. One of my goals of being on Mock Trial would be to get back on an academically-strict course, and it's somewhat helped me (MTT = the smartest most amazing people in the school. PERIOD.). Yesterday I was talking to my best friend on AIM, and she was like, "You seem to know a lot of programs to apply for." And it sounds harmless out of context, but it represents all the tension that's been building up. The thing is, I don't think she understands, nor anyone, really--I don't think anyone gets that I'm going through these struggles to not fall behind, because I always feel like I'm sinking fast. Doing all these programs is my way of getting my life back together instead of doing things that I know I'll one day regret.

Okay, rantage. Oops. >_<; With all that being said, I still love the webdesign, anime and cosplay communities. I've met people who are able to balance all of that and still be doing great at Wellesley, and I know that Cristy's friend, Gywn, goes to Columbia (aka the Godly School I Want to One Day Attend But Will Never Get Into) and still fangirls with Cristy all the time. Even if I don't know her, Gwyn, plus a number of others I know, are my role models, and yeah. I really don't know where I'm going with this, but whatever.

I know all of that may've seemed random, but it's a base reason why I haven't come on Xanga for so long. Please forgive me!

Hopefully I'll update soon again, prolly after the competition. To be honest, I'm still kind of hesitant about coming back to Xanga. One of the reasons I've loved Xanga so much in the past is because of the community, and knowing how many people on Xanga love and support me all the time. And with all covers and fluff aside, I'm just afraid that I'm coming back with only two people recognizing me. I mean, if that's the case, I'm okay with it, but it just means that Xanga isn't what it used to be to me, which means that it'd be likely that I fall out again. I dunno.

Anyhow, I'll talk to you all later. And actually respond to comments! >]

- - -

Also--again, I never knew them, but everything Cristy told me about Gywn and Peter would warm my heart and make me happy for the rest of the day. It's absolutely devestating that such events could happen that would cut Peter's life short, and I send my warmest regards to his family and friends.

Rest in peace.
Peter Dongmin Kim
July 12, 1982 - February 11, 2008

A;WOIEJFAWLK

;OIWJE;OIFWJEOASDF

Today is my anniversary of moving to California. I don't know if that's a good thing, (: I really, really miss Chicago... and it's been a tradition for me to post every February 4.

So there.

So I've gotten a new laptop, but I haven't installed anything yet, but once I do & get my files from my hard disk, back to Xanga I coooome. *o* I'm not sure when my dad will have the connection cord-thing though; he doesn't have time to go to Best Buy so for all I know it may take a few weeks. Not that that really changes anything.

As for those of you that actually care about this update, I've probably already chatted with you ever since my absence via Facebook or AIM or whatever; I'll revive this site when I have the time. This is the first time I've visited since January 1, I think. 8DDDDDDDDDD; Mock Trial's first official country round is tomorrow, so my schedule's jammed for a while. Yeah, we'll see. asdf;lkew find me hereee.

Love you all, thanks for putting up with me~ E>

...Aside the fact that I got, you know, COMPLETELY OBLITERATED ON CROSS.

The friggin' attorney on cross made me approach some diagram (that I hadn't looked at for like three months, my fault ><;) and like point out stuff that I didn't know.

“What does this diagram show?” “...Uh. Where we uh. Live.”
“Ms Ricco, can you point out where your residence is?” *..........point*
“Ms Ricco, it is true that you live down the hill from the Markson residence, true?” “True...”

And then I stood there awkwardly because no one called me to return to my seat, and then the attorney's finally like, may the witness go back to her seat or something... so I went back to my normal seat and right before I sat down the judge was like “Oh, any redirect?” And it was really awkward since I was supposed to still be on the stand. *weep* I definitely made the biggest fool of myself, especially since all the other witnesses did relatively well today. ARGH!

But Natalie said I did fine, and even though I'm pretty sure she's only saying that to make me feel better, I do... feel better. hahaha. -_-

Otherwise it was really fun though, even if we had to sit still and not talk for about six hours. :| Although I got two uber long breaks because Ms Goen decided to make me her errand girl. I had to run out and buy a latte for her, then get the pizza later on, lawllll.

Yeah, that's my story. I know this is a ridiculously lame update... I'll try to write a better update soon, once I find something to talk about. O:

JTAF WEOIFJEWO:IF

Beware, the con reports are back. Scroll down past this and act like you read it as usual, I don't mind. xD

2005 Recap | 2006 Recap

^ The most mortifying posts ever, especially the 05 one. I ended every sentence with like seventeen exclamation marks. T^T I actually wrote that at Hisaki's current age.... which is really depressing. *headdesk*

So basically, it's pretty much final that 2007 was the last JTAF; they've been having financial problems and were only able to scrape just by this year to get a venue (at Fort Mason). Since JTAF holds a special place in my heart, I know I should've gone both days this year as a final good-bye, but I was too lazy and didn't feel like going the first day. |O I'm amazing.

Wel-l... shoh we had a sleepover on Saturday night and basically just hung out and didn't do much besides video games and acting weird. I have a few vid's, I'll upload them on Facebook later. :] I think we went to sleep around four, and got up around nine so that's five hours of sleep... which is pretty good, con-wise! :DD

I was really excited to put on my loli!Alice costume, and aside for the shoulder part of the apron (there was nothing to tie it so it kept falling off), it fit perfectly. Yey for custom-made orders. ><b I then put on the blonde wig, and was like ¡®._____O OMGWTFUHFORKNO' because I looked really strange and stupid, but after Erin fixed it a bit I was guilt-tripped into wearing it. And I don't regret it, because it definitely looked better after we got out. It took us a while to actually get to the con, and when we did, we couldn't find it. Basically, Fort Mason is this HUGE area of these long buildings, and apparently JTAF was in like a mini-corner building on the edge of the premise. I was expecting a really small area (since JTAF barely had any money and all that), and yeah, I wans't surprised. The entire convention took place in a firehouse. That'd be a total of three rooms, which, combined, would fill about a quarter of a gymnasium. --_-- But the landscape totally made up for it; Fort Mason's definitely got the prettiest scenery I've ever seen for a convention. I spent like twenty minutes total in the actual convention, and then had two photoshoots with Eurobeat King (which is about another twenty minutes), and spent a few hours in Marian's photoshoot that involved the entire scape, including the port, grungy buildings and doors, this huge park of grass, a ¡°forest¡±, a strange plant and a lot of hills and dirt. I think it should be on Facebook sometime soon if Marian gets around to posting them. :3 Right now there are only a few up... I really do hope the rest turn out well though; a lot of the shots were definitely awesome (like there was this one where I was leaning on some fence-thing and looking up, and my entire body was enveloped in light at the front so I had no face xDD), but a lot of others I'm a bit iffy about (aka when I'm looking dead sprawled out on the dirt). X______x;

Then we went to J-town, got Korean food, did some purikura (I'll post them later, but my scanner isn't working D;) and went home around six. The end~ :DD I know this is a totally short recap for me, but that's really all that happened. The rest can't be explained in words. ¢¾

Btw Mio, I'll do the tag-thing next entry; it always takes me a while to think all those things up, and I'm so not ready. xD

[avatars are crops of bumper stickers from Facebook xD]