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| Dear War Journal,
Oh, wonderful day! I have me a bride and she is the beautiful Daruviel!
My joy was tempered only by the cost of buying the ensorcelled ring of
protection for my bride. I wanted only the best for her, but by
Morridan's beard! Five carats of diamonds set in a platinum ring
of exquisite craftsmanship, then with powerful warding spells cast on
it by a Wizard were nearly enough to balk me at this whole marriage
thing! But true love won through and I made the purchase.
I"m sure the Party would feel that the ring was well worth their gold,
too. Anything to protect my love from the dangers of the Quest
for the Staff of death!
I presented the ring to her and she accepted it gladly. She and
the other women of the party oohed and aahed over the bauble until I
pointed out it was time to head for a temple to make it legal.
Doby, as I called my love, didn't seemed very thrilled, but came along
anyhow.
We made it to the Temple of Hieronious and I convinced the priest to
say the ceremony. It was only 100 gold pieces, so that was
OK. Malaya was crying the whole time. Geez, Paladins just can't
seem to handle legal issues like getting married!
I'd only wanted to have the ceremony at Hieronious' temple because it
was the closest and Doby looked to be getting cold feet. Now, I
got our herd of adventurers moving towards the Temple of
Morridan, where the REAL ceremony will take place.
We arrived and was I shocked at the price! I'd never really
planned on getting married and so had never even checked into the price
of a traditional Dwarven wedding. 5000 pieces of gold! By
Morridan's Hammer, that was sheer robbery! But the priest was
having no haggling on the price, simply crossing his arms and shaking
his head at my attempts to initiate a negotiation on the terms.
Stubborn old coot! I acquiesed and the ceremony went forward,
ending in the traditional binding on of love manacles.
Doby didn't seem to like that part. She twisted and wriggled her
hand, trying to get out of the manacles, as if she didn't even want to
be married to me! Nothing was going the way I'd expected it to
go, from the high cost to the last minute cold feet of my lovely
bride! Well, at least it was over now.
The Gods, as usual, took much glee at proving me instantly wrong.
Doby insisted that since we'd done the ceremony in the Dwarven manner,
now we had to go to the Temple of Kord and follow her traditions as
well. Oh, by Morridan's Left Nut! Will this day never
end?!? I finally relented and we were at Kord's athletic
fields. I grumbled and paid the 1000 pieces of gold to the
grinning idiot of a priest of Kord, then endured the ceremonial
mumblings and such. I really should have been paying more
attention. Besides burning incense that smelled like old sweaty
socks on fire, they were apparently heating some branding irons in
those censors! I caught on to this just as a searing pain in my
right hand and the smell of burning Dwarf flesh reached my nost rils!
"Yeow!" I cried out. "What the blue blazes was that for?"
Doby smiled, beautiful as an angel, wincing only slightly as the
branding iron touched her flesh. "Now we are bound together in
the sight of Kord!" She seemed happy about it and the pain was
already receeding, so I let it go. But I don't think I'll be
making any more offerings to Kord in the future, you can bet on that!
With all the wedding hooplah over with, we finally set out for the
ship. We got nearby and were asking around about the black ship,
the Styrix, and learned it had come briefly into the harbor, and then
left almost immediately!
Were we too late? We didn't know, but set sail for Camchuria immediately in pursuit!
Doby, my dearest wife, showed her true colors and masterfully guided
our new ship through the treacherous reefs and rocks that surrounded
the island. As we got closer, it was obvious that some sort of
magical fog or mist enveloped all but the very pinnacle of some peak at
the center of the island. ONly a narrow strip of rocky beach was
visible outside the mist and it was for this narrow strip of land that
we headed in the ship's boat.
Again, Doby got us through the breaking waves that hissed among the
rocks and landed us safely. The sailors seemed mroe than happy to
risk the outbound trip and would wait for us on the boat.
Cowards, all of them! You just can't find good help lately.
I'll have to look into hiring a better quality crew for my new
ship. Doby seems confused about the ownership of the ship.
Obviously, she isn't familiar with Dwarven contract law and that a
husband assumes the right to all property of the wife. I think I
might wait until we get back on the ship before I mention this to her,
though. She's already threatened to leave me behind if I bring
the subject of the ship up again.
But, now, we need to hurry for the Staff of death must surely already
be on the island! We form up into a single file line, even going
so far as to rope ourselves together. The fog is thick, blocking
sight more than five feet in any direction. You could get lost in
this stuff very easily!
And, as if wading through this pea soup of a fog wasn't bad enough, we
encountered some foul sorcery within only a few yards of the
beach! All of a sudden, it took all my effort to move just a few
feet through the fog, wich was so thick it resisted any movement at
all. And, sure as the Paladin's warhorse leaves road
apples behind him, once we were all slogging through this crud, the
devils attacked us.
Three huge, clawed, ugly devils were in front of Elvis, who was leading
the line, or just to his right. The things were huge,
looming out of the fog and clashigng great claws on the ranger's
armor. I had Boom Boom out and managed to hit one that was within
reach, but I couldn't swing and move as it took everything I had just
to swing Boom Boom! Elvis was swinging his scimitars, doing some
damage to the devil I was attacking. Between the two of us, we
managed to do it some harm. Then the Paladin came up and brought
her glowing golden longsword down on the beasty! That was it for
that devil, let me tell you! I stepped up with the Ranger and I
was helping Elvis fend off the remaining two devils. Malaya tried
to join us, but between clambering over the body of the fallen devil
and this thicker than pea soup fog, she didn't make it to the fight
before Elvis and I brought down the second devil.
The other one, taking its fellow's demise as a signal, backed into the
fog, completely disappearing from our sight. I wanted to pursue
it, but realized I could walk within a few feet of the devil and never
see it.
Jsut then, we realized we had no clue where Jynx and Doby were!
"Doby, my love!" I cried out, over and over. "Come to me! Come to
your Dork!" I know it was the bond of our love that allowed her
to find me in that fiendish fog! For just then, she and Jynx came
into view and my Dwarven heart leaped with joy! She was safe and
unharmed, but a bit angry at having missed the fight.
After reuniting with my sweet bride, we formed up again and this time
tied ourselves together with rope. Within a few steps we, or
rather I should say, Elvis, ran into an Ice Wall. It was 10 feet
high and disappeared into the fog to left and right. Not wanting
to be balked by some damn ice, I and Elvis smashed two large holes in
it with our weapons. The Ranger's flaming scimitar was nearly as
effective as Boom Boom in making holes in Ice Walls! Almost...
We stepped through and both I and the Ranger were blasted with searing
cold, which damaged our exposed skin. Apparently the Ice wall was
unnatural and the icy core of its spell remained intact, despite being
bashed apart. We two men stepped back through the icy blast,
taking a bit more pain, but it was worth it to remain close to my
dearest love and spare her the icy pain.
Deciding to remain togther, we followed the Ice Wall to the left and
found it met yet another Ice Wall, only this one would lead us back to
the beach where we landed. We couldn't just keep following Ice
Walls!
Jynx got the idea of using fireballs to blast holes in the spells, so
we gave that a try. She moved us back far enough so we wouldn't
get fried ourselves, then blasted the obstruction. It vanished in
an impressive ball of fire and we moved foward agin, heading for the
center of the island.
But, within a dozen paces, another Ice wall loomed in front of
us. Again, Jynx moved us back and she blasted a hole through the
wall. We moved up and found yet another Ice Wall blocking our
path! Jynx did this again, backing us up and blasting a
hole. And sure enough, we found another Ice wall! I was
even starting to suspect that we were losing ground when we backed up
to give the spell the needed clearance so as not to get burned.
Frustrated enough to think more clearly, Jynx finally came on an idea
that seemed to be a winner! She changed herself into the form of
a Red Dragon, though it wasn't a very big dragon, really. We
Dwarves aren't as impressed by dragons as the other, lesser races seem
to be. But it was big enough! She started breathing fire
and burning her way through Ice Wall after Ice Wall! Eventually,
whatever was putting the things in our way gave up and we emerged into
the normal, if you can call it that, fog that merely blocked our
vision. And within minutes, we emerged from even that. I
can tell you, I was more pleased to be out of that crud, whole and with
my beloved beside me than I can easily put into words!
We saw a forest ahead of us. It was a very bleak wood, I can tell
you. Bare branches reached like claws for the leaden sky and
there seemed to be something wrong with the trees. After a few
moments, I spotted what it was.
Thrown in the branches of the trees, nailed to the trunks, hanging from
the branches, were mutilated bodies of Humans! They seemed to be
garbed as our luckless and brief companion Jet had been. You
remember, he was the Monk from the Monastery that guarded the Tree of
Life. He'd died within minutes of joining our band, having his
head bashed off by an Ogre he was playing Pattycake with at the
time. Ogres don't seem to like playing that game...
Jynx, still a Dragon, called out that she could see more Devils like
the ones we had beaten in the fog flying over the forest towards
us. None of us could see them, but we weren't Sorcerers,
either. We all headed for the trees at a run, hoping that they
would be some protection from the devils, despite the obscene fruits
the trees bore. Jynx made as if she was going to launch herself
into the air and fight the devils there, but then muttered, "Damn!
Immune to fire and I'm a Red Dragon!" She glided into the woods
and resumed her usual form.
Now we had to figure out how to hit invisible devils! Jynx solved
that by using more magic. Those damn Sorcerers and
Sorceresses! Everything is magic, magic, magic with them!
It's getting very annoying for a very non-magical Dwarf to put up with
all their spells and invisible slinking around!
Anyhow, th e devils were caught by a blast of glittering motes of
light which outlined them more than enough for my keen Dwarven
eye! Boom Boom flew with his usual clap of thunder and I had a
devil on the ground, wishing it had stayed in Hell! Elvis was
thumping arrow after arrow into another devil, while Malaya and my love
dealt with another. Very soon, they were all dead. No mere
Devil will ever keep Dork Dorkson from keeping his vowed promise to
protect his Doby!
We found a path leading through the woods and Elvis recommended styaing
off of it, but using it as a guide. We followed the path from
within the woods, staying 10 paces to the left, and it was a damned
good thing we did!
Just minutes after starting out, a dozen of those Barbed Devils
suddenly apeared, teleported most likely, right near where we
stood. Being the cunning woodsman that I am, I followed the
Ranger's example and ever so quietly moved into better cover.
But one of my clumsy companions must have shown themselves for within a second the Devils were howling down upon us!
Elvis and I were easily bashing and shooting the half dozen that had
foolishly came our way. But Malaya, the Paladin, the one I
suspect of drawing the Devils down on us in the first place, seemed to
be having more of a problem. This didn't really concern me that
much, since the Paladin annoyed me enough that I'd just as much see her
get killed by a Devil as not. But, unfortuantely, she had
involved my dearest Doby in her battle! I"m sure my beloved had
come to the unworthy Paladin's aid, seeing her being overwhelmed by the
Devils. She was holding her own, brave fighter that she is, but
let's face it. She just is no true Dorkson, only being one by
marriage. I dispatched the last of the Devils on me and brought
Boom Boom into play! With a crash of thunder and howls of
Devilish pain, Boom Boom flew to the aid of my love!
Jynx was doing some spells stuff, I'm not sure what, but she did
manage to deal with her Devils, too. If only she would use her
sorcerous powers to protect my love as well as herself! I think
I'll have to take Jynx aside and have a little chat with her about
sharing some of her spells with the rest of us. I'm sure she will
see the logic and reason in my argument. Or Boom Boom will
convince her! I can't afford to be too charitable when the very
life of my dear Doby is on the line!
Finally, we cleared the trees! I was glad of it, though the
Ranger seemed to prefer the woods. He'd been less than happy of
late. Probably some remaining psychological damage from being
nearly burned to death so many times.
We saw two great Horned Devils guarding the gates to the
MOnastary. They weren't that far away from us and spotted us
about the same time we spotted them. I threw Boom Boom, Elvis let
fly with his arrows, and even the Paladin shot her bow!
Unfortuantely, the images we had seen were just illusions and the real
Horned Devils attacked us!
Again, the dwarven wisdom of using a Hammer for both enemies at range
and those at hand was amply justified! While the Ranger and
Paladin hurriedly dropped their bows and drew steel, the Ranger visibly
wincing and concerned that nothing happen to his magical weapon, I had
my Boom Boom already in hand!
A great battle was shaping up! Those Horned Devils are fierce
opponents, wielding a Barbed and Spiked Chain that can drop even a
dwarf into a stunned heap. Malaya cried out her God's name and
hit the Devil closest to her! I have to tell you, honestly, that
she was acquitting herself well. But I am sooooo tired of
hearing, "In the name of Hieronious, I smite thee!" Can't
she at least change it around a bit? Nope. Same thing, every
time.
Anyhow, the Paladin did some damage, but she was caught by one of the
Barbed chains and stunned, dropping to the ground. Not good, even
if it did shut her up for a bit! I was bashing at another Devil,
but he was holding up under Boom Boom's punishment remarkably
well. And then he caught me with his chain! By the Gods,
the pain! I found myself on the turf, nearly senseless. I
tried and tried, but couldn't bring myself to my feet, even hearing
that bedamned Devil hacking at my beloved Doby!
I heard Jynx casting spells and the Ranger defending himself, but it
really wasn't until both I and the Paladin regained our senses
that we were able to triupmh over these minions of Hell!
I thought I'd have a moment to recover after crushing the skull of one
of the Devils, but had only just then taken some Healing draughts when
a terrific explosion rocked the very Earth on which I stood!
A gigantic pillar of flame was reaching for the Heavens, centered in
the courtyard just ahead of us! And, if the information we had
managed to gather was correct, that was the very courtyard in which we
would find the Tree of Life!
OK, not being an Elf and all, but being a Dwarf, I might not be an
expert on trees. But I've been burned, a lot, and I know that
fire like I was seeing was just not going to be a good thing for a
tree. The others in my band must have reached the same
conclusion, especially Elvis. He was pale and shaking just a bit,
but I could tell he had himself under control. He's just not been
the same ever since those Sorcerers took to burning and burning him
with those Sorcerer's Fire spells.
We rushed in and beheld such a sight as this moderately well off Dwarf never hopes to see again!
A beautiful tree, silver barked and golden leaved, dominated the
courtyard. The column of flame completely surrounded the tree,
but it seemed to be protectin itself with some sort of shimmering
golden shield that kept the flames at bay. I suppose it was
normally a pretty place, fountains, benches and all the usual garden
trimmings. Only now the place was strewn with the bodies of the
Human Monks who had tried and failed to defend the Tree. Not to
mention the very red robed Priest of Hextor, brandishing the Staff of
Death!
He was chanting and encanting, holding the Staff of Death like a spear,
his sleeves revealing muscular arms. I noticed, weird what you
notice at moments like these, he was bald as an egg but grinning like
one of those Devils we'd just killed. Before any of us could even
move to stop him, he hurled the Staff of Death at the Tree of Life!
"This is not going to be good," I muttered to Elvis as we watched the
Staff fly with blinding speed into the trunk of the Tree. .
And, as usual, I was right. The shimmering golden field that had
been protecting the tree collapsed in an eyeblink! The flames
started to eat away at the Tree of Life, moving so rapidly over the
braches and leaves that I could barely follow their progress!
I did what any red-blooded Dwarf would do in such a circumstance.
I threw my Dwarven Throwing Hammer! Whatever else he might have
planned to do that day, that Priest of Hextor was going to need to
change his schedule! I planted four solid and thunderingly Holy
blows on that red robed bastard I'd been chasing for weeks! Elvis
unloaded on him with that bow of his, sinking nearly a dozen shafts
into the priest. Stunned, smashed, pierced and with a look of
amazement on his face, the Priest of Hextor dropped to the befouled
paving stones and didn't move.
"No!" screamed my beloved, leaping forward for the Tree of Life.
She was beauty and Grace in motion, leaping into the very flames and
making it to the side of the Tree of Life in seconds!! I was
shocked! The flames had not died with the death of the Hextor
minion and Doby and her clothing were starting to burn.She took hold of
the Staff of Death, not even caring that so evil an artifact could kill
her on the spot! I could tell it hurt her, seeing the look of
pain as she grasped it and tried to pull it free.
Just then I caught sight of the Paladin, Malaya, finally geting into
motion. She had summoned her warhorse and was leaping into the
flames as well. She reache Doby's side just as I was preparing to
leap in amongst the flames myself. I saw Doby try, valiantly, to
wrench the Staff of Death from the Tree of Life, but to no avail!
It was stuck fast, completely transfixing the Tree, which was
not-so-slowly being immolated.
And then, I saw a sight I had not expected. The body of the
Priest of Hextor violently ripped in two! A huge Devil crawled
out of the Priest, leaving the body behind, shrivled and shrunken like
a snake casts off its skin. There before me stood a Pit
Fiend! I'd seen illustrations of such fell monsters in the
Caverns of Lore in my home tunnels. But, as Morridan is my
witness, they did not do them justice! Huge, winged, and
malevolent, this monster cast a spell on me, Elvis and Jynx.
I felt like somethign was trying to burrow through my brain and take
control!! I managed, through sheer Dwarven stubborness, to throw
off the spell! Even Elvis managed to shake the effect! But
poor Jynx, she remained unmoving and unable to move, the spell having
completely stolen her will!
Elvis and I did the only thing we could do. We attacked the Pit
Fiend, only hoping that we could keep its attention from the Paladin
and my beloved long enough for them to save the Tree of Life!
Unable to pull the Staff free and seeing the Paladin coming, my love,
my beautiful Doby decided to let go and make a dash for the safety of
my arms! I'm sure that the fact that I had most of our healing
Potions had nothing to do with her decision...
But, when she tried, she only barely managed to wrench her hands free
of the Staff! She told me later that it was like some unseen
hands were holding her hands on the Staff, not letting go and trying to
suck her life out through her hands! and the burning pain of the
super heated Staff had scarrred her palms forever! But, thank
Morridan and even that slacker Kord,she did manage to break the evil
spell that held her hands fast and leaped through the curtain of flames
to my side.
As I battled the Pit Fiend, I spared as much attention as I dared and I
watched Doby take Healing Potions and the Paladin to take up where my
dearest had left off.
Malaya, riding her great white Paldin's Warhorse, had charged to the
Tree. She took the staff in her gauntleted hands and wrenched it
free of the Tree of Life with a mighty heave of her muscles! I
don't know that I couldn't have done it any better myself! I saw
her face contort in agony as the full Evil power of the staff of death
surged over and through her body! Even then, she didn't release
it, urging her warhorse forward and out of the inferno that surrounded
the Tree.
But poor Malaya was never destined to leave the raging furnace
alive. Her horse leaped free, but between the unholy power of the
Staff of Death clutched in her hands and the flames that charred her
body, it was too much. Cingular, her warhorse, only managed to
carry the broiled and charred remains of Malaya, a Paladin of
Hieronious, out of the fire. But, even in death, she did her duty
as she saw it, bearing the Staff of Death away from the Tree of Life.
At that same moment, Elvis and I between us hammered and arrowed the
Pit Fiend into oblivion! Even Jynx had broke the spell that bound
her will and had cast potent magics at the Devil! With his demise
and the Staff of Death leaving the immediate vicinity of the Tree of
Life, the flames disappeared.
The pulsing and blood-red crystal on top of the Staff of Death surged
brilliantly for a moment, then shattered into dust with a thunderclap
even louder than Boom Boom makes! With that, the Paladin fell to
the courtyard, dead, clutching the now quiescent Staff of Death.
Cingular disappeared, crying out in an equine scream of pain, never to
be seen again.
Jynx, who some may call paranoid, but this Dwarf only names prudent,
disintegrated the remains of the Pit Fiend and any Devil we could
find. She wasn't taking any chances on one of them regenerating
to go a few more rounds with us! Next, she took Malaya's body and
the Staff of Death, teleporting to the Temple of Hieronious in
Delphini. The rest of us decided to wait, but kept a watch out
for more Devils.
Jynx finally reappeared, soaking wet with sea water. She refused
to talk about why she was wet, but did tell us what happened at the
Temple.
The priest there had stated, quite sadly, that it had taken the soul of
Malaya, a most Holy and now sainted Paladin of Hieronious, to shatter
the crystal on the Staff of Death. It had been rendered useless,
apparently, by her soul's sacrifice to save the Tree of Life.
Jynx had argued, but the Priest and his minions hadn't been able to
help the Paladin.
We returned to the boat and my love again steered us through the
dangers. We arrived back in Delphini, victorious, but lacking one
of the more annoying yet still valued members of our band of
adventurers.
Here is where I will leave off. But know that the story of the
staff of Death is not done. More awaits when I have the time and
freedom to write it down.
Yours, in faithful service to Morridan,
Dork Dorkson.
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| Lost entry of Dork Dorkson
Dear War Journal,
After our brush with the pirates, we made it safely
into Delphini. It seems like a nice enough city, but any harbor looks good to a
Dwarf when he's heading in and not out. We
docked, Captain Darvolator paid the Harbor Master his fees and we all set off
into the city to take care of our business.
We asked around to see if that black ship, the
Styrix, had put in, but nobody seemed to know very much. Captain Darvolicious
set about hiring a new crew right away to replace the pretty boys the Pirates
had slaughtered. Good riddance, to my way of thinking! They were useless in a
fight and seemed to keep the Captain from noticing my Dwarvish good looks.
Anyhow, we quickly had spread the word and it looked
like a new crew would be easily hired. I took the opportunity to relate to
Daruviel about how Jynx and I had hired a ship Captain to hire on around 30 or
so of the styrix sailors and to head West. She laughed and laughed! She is so
pretty when she laughs...*sigh*
We all went to visit the Temple of Hieronious and the
Paladin paid the exorbitant tithes she insists on paying. It actually caused me
physical pain to watch all that gold going to waste on a Human God!
The Paladin did seem to get something from all this,
though. Her sword changed to a new type of metal, Cold Iron if my Dwarven metal
sense is correct. That might help us out if we run across any demons. I'm not
sure what else happened, but the Paladin seemed pleased with the transaction.
But I suspect that if nothing had happened at all, she'd have been just as
pleased, the over tithing wench!
We then went to Morridan's Smithy and I went in to
speak to the Master Smith. We spoke, bargained for a bit, and then he agreed to
take Boom Boom and bless it with the power of Morridan. This is gonna be
GREAT! I'm reluctant to leave Boom Boom in someone else's hands, but if I can
trust anybody, it's going to be a Master Smith of Morridan.
Captain Davalleygirl insisted on going to the
compound where that silly Human God, Kord, and all his sweaty followers, hang
out. There was some fancy fencing and wrestling, and the Captain of my Heart
won "the Favor of Kord". How useless! How ambiguous a contract can you
get?!? I'm afraid she has been duped and the gold she tithed wasted.
With all of our religious needs tended to, we went
back to the ship. I had just settled down when I heard someone go dashing down
the little hallway, across the deck, then thunder down the gangplank. Now that
is just not normal! I had just finished putting on my armor and arming myself
when Jynx knocked and entered my cabin, not even waiting for me to say yea or
nay.
"Daruviel has dashed off by herself! I found this
obviously fake message in her cabin when I went to borrow some ink. I think
it's a trap!"
She didn't have to say anymore! I was out the door
and thundering down the gangplank and onto the dock! I had to save my
girl!
Malaya the Paladin and Jynx the Sorceress were right
behind me. OK, I know I usually make fun of the Paladin, but I usually have
good reason to do so. But this once, she had a good idea. Maybe it was being a
woman again had straightened out her thought processes or something, but she did
finally make some sense. She called her Paladin's Mount, Sinkalure, though why
someone would name a horse after fishing tackle I'll never figure out. She was
on in a second and she pulled both me and Jynx up, too. I have to tell you, I
really don't like riding such a big and stupid animal, especially perched
precariously in front of the saddle as I was!
It was hard to hear over the galloping hooves of
Sinkalure, but I thought I could hear the cries of my beloved and the ring of
steel on steel.
IN moments we were charging down a dark street and I
saw my beautiful Daluvial slashing and thrusting her rapier into a horde of
bearded Devils! It was an ambush, and a fiendish one at that!
"Save me and I'll marry you, Dork!" Daruviel cried
out, and no sweeter words has this Dwarf ever heard!
"I'll save you!" I cried and slipped off that damn
horse and let fly my new Dwarven Throwing Axe, over and over! The meaty thunk
of my axe going home merged with the sound of the Paladin's war cries and the
horse's thundering hooves as she charged!
Devils dropped left and right and straight ahead as I
plied my Axe with the goal of saving and marrying Captain Doby! There were a
couple of really nasty Barbed Devils leading the Bearded ones, so I hacked them
into oblivion with my new axe. The Paladin seemed to finally come into her own,
slashing and hacking through these Devils like they were only so many Orcs! Her
sword glowed golden as it severed heads and arms and entire torsos and the
Devils actually looked terrified as she rode them down in Righteous
Wrath!
I think Jynx may have cast some spells, but I was so
busy and worried for my dearly beloved Delightful that I just didn't
notice.
IN moments the Devils were gone or hacked apart and I
came up to Daruviel and said the most romantic thing I have ever
said.
"I'm holding you to that promise! We have a marriage
contract!" and I smiled in sheer joy as the tears of relief and love flooded her
eyes. | | |
| Dear War Journal,
My name is Dork Dorkson and I'm a
Hammeraholic.
Well, everybody seems to think that I need to get
away from using Boom Boom so much, but I just don't see where I have a problem.
They immediately counter with "Admitting you have a problem is the first step!"
then I say, "But I don't have a problem with Boom
Boom! I throw it at some evil beastie, Boom Boom smacks 'em good and hard, and
I do it again if they don't fall down."
Here is where they repeat themselves and I usually
hit them with Boom Boom. That usually ends the philosophizing and I can get
back to counting my gold. Uh, I mean, the Party's gold, that is.
OK, I need to backtrack just a bit. I only just now
noticed that stupid dragon, Stavanism, had spilled wine all over my last journal
entry and I have to rewrite it! And they say I have a problem!
*SHEESH*
Here's what happened. Jynx and me were in the port
city of Casini, I think that was the name. They all blur in my memory, though
the events are as clear as day in my mind. I had just placed the order for my
new axe and Jynx and I were heading back to the ship. Very smooth, got a great
deal on a Dwarven Throwing Axe, made from Adamantine. I was basking in the glow
of yet another financial transaction that had gone my way when Jynx noticed one
of those Dragon Disciples with half a dozen of those Red Half dragons as an
escort. We ducked aside and watched as the Sorcerer split them up into 3 teams
and they started making their way towards where our ship was moored. Obviously,
they were out hunting us! But I, being the oh so clever Dwarf that I am, not to
mention a master of strategery, I quickly decided to turn the tables and hunt
them!
We didn't want to just smack around some more of
those Red Dragon guys, since it wasn't much of a sport anymore. Jynx would do
one of those Ice Cream Cone spell thingies, they'd all freeze, and I'd smash any
that didn't with Boom Boom. So, we decided to follow the Sorcerer and the
swordsmen -- swordsdragons? --and ambush them.
That was the plan, at least. Jynx stepped into an
alley and spent the next couple of minutes casting defensive spells on herself.
I really, REALLY tried to be patient, but it's not easy. You just stand there
while a sorceress grunts and mutters, wiggling her fingers and making weird
gestures. Thank Morridan that nobody saw her doing this while I was with
her!
Finally, all her shields, protections, charms and
hexes were in place, just in time for us to not be able to see them anymore.
Great! Two minutes into my plan to ambush them and they'd already given me the
slip!
So, we hustled down the street until I managed to
spot them again. Amazingly, they didn't see us jo gging through
the crowd or hear the people I knocked over yelling at me. You'd think a 4 foot
four inch Dwarf in a Mithril breastplate, carrying a large Mithril shield with
the symbol of Morridan emblazoned on it, brandishing an Adamantine throwing
hammer would get people to clear a path. But NOOOOOOOOOOOooooo! I had to shove
and smash a few aside. But I know Morridan understands.
Finally, Jynx teleported us in front of the Sorcerer
and his guards and we opened fire! Well, not so much fire as ice and throwing
hammer. She froze them and I hammered the sorcerer! I hit him hard, too, so
hard he couldn't keep his concentration for a counterspell on us! It made me
laugh out loud which I doubt did anything to help his confidence...
Anyhow, we killed his guards and he ducked down an
alley to try and get away. We sprinted after him, but he was able to get far
enough ahead to turn the corner of the alley and get up some protective Force
bubble. Boom Boom wouldn't penetrate it and Jynx didn't think there was room
enough to teleport inside.
And the coward just smiled, made some nasty comment,
and then teleported away! Dang it! Jynx seemed really mad, too. Seems the
Sorcerer had some sort of staff that she really wanted. Oh well. No sense
crying over unspilt Sorcerer's blood I always say. We were heading back to
search the bodies of the ones we had killed when the Sorcerer started Round
2.
He nailed us with some spell, then kept right on
hammering us with that Sorcerer's Fire spell, too. Jynx laughed since she had
put up all those protections, but left the poor Dwarf leaping and dodging and
trying to put himself out! I get no respect! Especially when I'm on
fire...
Jynx managed to return fire a bit and the Sorcerer
blinked out again. End of Round 2.
Jynx teleported us back to the ship and we were safe
enough. But I knew there were more of those Red Half Dragons out there and just
couldn't let it go. We went back out to ambush them, hoping to recover some of
their magical swords or other items. I wanted to offset the cost of my new
axe. They are very nice weapons, but rather expensive.
We caught a group of the Reds near a waterfront bar
section of the city and Jynx iced them down. I was hammering them with Boom
Boom, having a great time, when I noticed that Jynx had disappeared. Seems that
once one of the Reds, or three of them, were archers and damn near as good as
Elvis! She got an arrow or four and teleported to safety, leaving me alone.
Nothing new there, let me tell you!
It wasn't long before I'd closed on them and killed
all of the Reds, archers or sword wielders. Of course, just then, Jynx came
back out of hiding to help loot the bodies. Whatever you say about Jynx, you
can't call her late for a looting!
I can almost hear you thinking it. Yep, Round 3
starts right now with the Red Sorcerer. He was apparently flying around
overhead, just inside his spell range and outside of jynx's. And, of course,
he was invisible. Now that is just a low down, cowardly way to fight! I
couldn't see to even try and kill him with Boom Boom! And he was so high up,
according to Jynx, I wouldn't have been able to reach him even if I could see
him! Reluctantly, I put Boom Boom in my belt and uncased my bow. I don't feel
I'm very good with it, but that might just be because I compare myself to
Elvis. He's not much to look at, Morridan knows, but he is damn good with that
bow!
So there we were, dodging more fireballs and
Sorcerer's fire spells, followed by some Chain Lightning, just to keep me on my
toes. Locals were burning, bleeding, and shockingly dead, not to mention all
the buildings that had started burning! And we'd just been warned to be careful
by their Sheriff! And it's not even my fault!
Jynx didn't take the pounding very long. She got
this really clever and self-delighted look on her face, waved at me, then
disappeared. I was scanning the sky for some sign of the Red Sorcerer and
spotted her, seemingly flying along in midair, wrestling with somebody! Just
like that one Sorcerer did to Magus on his broom! Jynx seemed very pleased with
herself, right tup until she lost consciousness a moment later. She was about a
thousand feet up and I watched her fall, helpless to do anything. She fell and
fell and finally managed to come aware enough to cast that Feather Fall spell
I've seen her use. Very handy when you are falling hundreds of feet and only
seconds away from smashing into some very hard cobblestones!
Undeterred, Jynx wasn't letting a little thing like
nearly falling to her death stop her! Oh no! She turned herself into a Red
Dragon! Not one of those sissy Red Half Dragons, either! This was a full
fledged, Red dragon! Well, not fledged, since Dragons don't have feathers, but
you know what I mean. And not really a huge dragon, but it was certainly bigger
than a pony!
She swept up into the air and I could tell she was
aiming for that Red Sorcerer. And then there he was! He must have forgotten to
renew his Invisibility spell while he was dueling with Jynx in the air! And
now, the Dwarf gets to do something! Well, almost.
Jynx drove up at him on the powerful wing beats only
a Dragon can manage and first thing she did was bite the Red Sorcerer! I could
tell that she was thinking she had him then. No way he could move his fingers
and arms and such to cast a spell. Unless he used that same spell that knocked
her out just a minute ago. Which he promptly did.
I really have no skill at reading the facial
expressions of Dragons, but it seemed to me that Jynx's Dragon face seemed sort
of stunned and angry as she fell towards the ground. Again. Luckily, she was
still high enough in the air to recover from the stunning of the spell and her
wings boomed out, catching the air and swooping back up into the
battle.
While she was falling, I started sending arrow after
arrow at the Sorcerer. I don't think I was having much effect, but maybe I'm
just used to the positive feedback I get from Boom Boom's thunderclap and
lightning bursts. Anyhow, I kept the air full of arrows and I noticed Jynx
change her form back to the Human one I am more used to seeing her wearing. Now
this expression I could figure out! She was really pissed off!
Jynx was sending lightning bolt after lightning bolt,
even those chain lightning ones, even though there wasn't anybody else to zap.
The Sorcerer kept shooting back, using lightnings
and fireballs. The entire sky above the city was full of lightning, fires, and
looked like it was nearly as bright as day!
Jynx explained to me later that the shield she had on
lasted longer than the one the Sorcerer had on. He'd taken more hits than she
had, apparently, including some of my arrows that had finally knocked down some
other protective spell he had cast on himself. Why won't these Sorcerers ever
cast one of these protective spells on me? I think they are a nasty and selfish
lot, Magus and Jynx only sometimes excluded.
Finally Jynx put a lightning bolt into the Red
Sorcerer and I saw it go home this time! He spasmed, then went limp. I don't
know if it killed him or not, but I guarantee that the fall sure did!
Dueling sorcerously at high altitudes is a great way
of making sure that the loser is definitely not coming back for a
rematch!
Jynx landed and we quickly searched the bodies. She
claimed the staff the Red Sorcerer had, including a couple of rods he had stuck
in his belt. She refused to tell me what they were, even! How am I supposed to
properly enter them into the Company Accounts?!? I get no respect!
What with the fires and all going on, we thought it
best to make like a Mule Train and haul ass out of there! We were back on the
ship, certainly not hiding from the law, relaxing and counting our spoils in a
matter of seconds. Jynx was able to teleport us. OK, so sorcerers, or at least
sorceresses, do have their uses. | | |
| From the lost entries of Dork Dorkson:
Dear War Journal,
Things are not good. I'm on a tiny little bit of
wood, floating on a huge ocean, with waves surging and crashing all about
me!
OK, well, maybe it's not that bad. The bit of wood
is actually a Galley called the Coastliner. The waves are rather gentle, more
like what that sexy Captain Doobie calls swells. But there really is a lot of
water!
Anyhow, we are on the next to last leg of this sea
journey, heading from the city of Carsini to the port of Delphini. They tell me
it is only about 50 miles across the straits there to the island of Camchuria,
where the Tree of Life is located. I can hardly wait! I hate being on the
water!
And to make matters worse, we run into pirates! I
watched them sailing towards us and Captain Drooly just couldn't seem to make up
her mind. I thought I had hired somebody with real naval experience, but it
seems like she has less of a clue about what to do than I do! Maybe I can get
some sort of prorated refund...
Anyhow, the pirates had six ships heading towards
us. I didn't know how many of them it was going to take to sink us, but I DID
know how many of those six ships they were going to use to try! Captain Derby
sent us heading straight for the middle of their battle line, calling for her
crew to soak down the deck, lines and sails. Apparently lots of fire was about
to be unleashed on us. I rub my ring and feel somewhat comforted that I can
walk to shore if I really have to.
It's just me, Jynx the Sorceress, and Captain Dally.
Well, her crew, too, but they don't seem like they will be worth much in a
fight. They seem to pose and preen as much as they tend the sails, sunbathing
more than sailing. I'm not sure what criteria the Captain used when selecting
this crew, but I am worried.
Speaking of being worried, I take out Boom Boom and
then, sighing, put him away again. I just can't bring myself to throw him at a
ship over open water like this. I don't know if some slimy sorcerer is playing
magic tricks with me or not and I'm not going to take any chances of losing Boom
Boom again! I dig out that composite longbow I took off one of those Half Red
Dragon archer types and string it, getting ready for action.
The pirates open up with their sorcerers about the
same time Jynx starts casting her own spells. She looks really pissed off as
one of them makes her spell fizzle out while the other one sends a fireball into
our front sail! Captain Dippy screams and sends sailors up to fight the fire,
but they are having some real problems putting the fire out. And this was just
a regular fireball, not one of those yellow-green Sorcerer's Fire spells. I've
been on the receiving end of both and I'll take a regular fireball any day of
the week!
I drew back and let fly, aiming for the helmsman on
the ship farthest to the left. "Port!" Captain Dustweed yelled at me, but I
really didn't care at this point. I sent arrow after arrow at anybody who got
near that wheel! Soon, that ship was veering off towards the shoreline,
arrow-riddled corpses piled on the back decky thing by the wheel. Nobody wanted
near it! Ha! Even without Boom Boom, I'm a total Badass!
I continued plying the bow, doing the same thing and
working in from the left. "Port!" Captain Darfy yells again, but I ignore her,
telling her to put the damn fires out and quit nagging me! It's like she was my
wife or something!
Jynx had switched tactics. She blasted the sorcerer
on one boat with a Chain Lightning Bolt, very impressive! Took him off his feet
and killed a dozen or so of the pirates around him! She did the same to the
other sorcerer, who tried another fireball on us, burning our main sail, but
getting a lightning bolt in the chest for his efforts. Jynx finished off the
sorcerers and then cleared the wheels of both of those ships with lightning
bolts.
I had switched to the right side and the two ships
there. "Starboard!" Captain Dinky screamed, but I just ignored her. I had the
next to last ship's wheel vacant in a matter of moments, forcing it to veer off,
almost into the last ship! That was so funny I almost dropped the bow!
Unfortunately, Jynx didn't have the same amount of
luck with the ship just to our right. "Starboard!" yells Captain Doofus. I
think she needs to pay more attention to her sailing and less to what I am
saying. It got real obvious I was right when the ship on the right angled into
our side. There was a horrible crunch, the sound of timbers shattering and a
bronze ram plowed through the side of our ship!
"Holy shit!" Captain Darbolatius yelled. Water was
gushing in, oarsmen were screaming, and the sailors were grabbing up weapons to
defend themselves. And a good thing, too. A wave of pirates washed over the
front of the ship and things got real bloody real fast.
IN a matter of moments the entire crew was slain,
though they did take some of the pirates with them. But not enough. There were
over 300 facing us when I unleashed the Wrath of Boom Boom upon them!
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Dead pirates on the deck! And
Captain Delicioso finally seems to have gotten the hang of this fighting thing,
too! She leaped forward like a crazy woman, slashing down pirate after pirate!
She kept screaming about them damaging her boat, asking if they knew how much
these kinds of repairs cost, and not to mention the cost of hiring a new crew!
Gee, I didn't know she was so interested in finances! Maybe we have more in
common than I thought...
Jynx got into the act about then. She blasted over a
dozen with lightning a couple of times, then used that Frosty spell thingy and
killed lots of them. She did that one more time and it was our turn to board
their ship!
And a good thing, too. because our ship was well on
its way to sinking. Big, gaping holes below the water line tend to do that it
seems. I pointed out to the Captain that our party was in no way responsible
for any damages she, her crew, or her ship suffered while executing their part
of our contract. She only smiled at me. Wow...how sexy!
She was very angry with the pirates, though. She
slew several more of them and ordered the rest to disarm and surrender. We soon
had them shackled to their rowing benches and had managed to rouse those drunken
members of our little adventuring group to help get the horses across. Jynx did
most of it, teleporting the horses over quickly, but I think Magus finally did
one thing to help. It was about time, since Jynx had carried the brunt of the
battle in a 2 to 1 fight with the enemy sorcerers!
captain Discoteque seems quite happy with her new
ship. For one thing, the sails aren't all burned up. For another, there isn't
a great muthering hole in the side, either. I find both those traits to be
things I would look for in a ship were I to be in the market for one
myself.
We used one of the Feather Tokens to pull away from
the remaining pirates and made it safely to Delphini! I'm very excited! Not
only am I planning to visid a temple of Mooridan and see if the cleric there can
bless Boom Boom, but Captain Desperado has agreed to go ashore with me! OK,
it's not a real date, but I really do think she is starting to succumb to that
old Dork charm! All I have to do now is play my cards right and I'm sure that
she will be mine! Not only can she wield that rapier of hers, but she owns her
own sailing galley! And this one has a ram and fighting towers! She's coming
up in the world! Ah, a woman of property...I wonder if she has any
investments...?
| | |
| Dear War Journal,
Many things have happened,
since I wrote last. Our ship was accosted by pirates, and our
brave Captain Dobby, lost her ship, the Coastliner. She put up a
brave fight, in true dwarven fashion. I'm beginning to grow fond
of her. So fond, as a matter of fact, that I have asked her hand,
in marriage and
SHE ACCEPTED!
We're getting married in the
morning! I never knew love could be this grand. She's
almost as good as my precious Boom Boom, except hers are a little
better.
Our engagement, though it
maybe short, has been exciting. I've heard her call my name many
times in the heat of ............ *ahem*..... battle. I, and my
friends, Jinx and Malea (who is now female again. Apparently she bribed
her god.) picked out a sensible wedding ring.. A very fine cut,
diamond, +3 ring of protection. I want my little snookums
to be safe, as I wish her to live the rest of her life with me in the
caves, after this adventure. She'll adjust well, I just know it.
She has already stated that
she would like Elvis her Best Man, and Magus to as her Brides
Maid. I am confused over these choices, but maybe it's an elven
thing.
Now...
EVERYONE PARTY!!
Drinks are on Dork!
Note
to self: Make changes in will. Make sure Duggal gets the
things necessary to avenge my untimely death.. and that he knows to
take care of my future wife. I'm sure he'll do fine, in the case
of my demise, with a concubine. I'll also have to redo the party
division, as I believe that maybe she should get a little bit more than
everyone else (except Duggal)
| | |
|
