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| 24never thought i would ever become a 24 fanatic. never even thought i would truly know who "jack bauer" is. i've found myself addicted to this show, its story, its characters. i'm in the middle of watching one of the seasons right now and there is a scene where one of the head advisers for the president of the united states was going to quit on him. the president says "you can't leave me now, not today." and the adviser replies with this, "mr. president, i appreciate that you value my counsel, but the truth is, you... have been your own best counselor. you... know... what to do sir! and i have no doubt, absolutely no doubt that you will continue to rise to this challenge." in the midst of a silly addiction to a tv show i learn this value: a lot of times it's like i'm waiting for somebody else to come along with this divine counsel or revelation to retell me what God has already told me, to get me to live in obedience in small things i ALREADY know. i play the game called "process" often because people can relate to taking baby steps and growing. but i'm not a child. i'll seek wise counsel as i live my life trying to follow the way of Jesus Christ, but if it's just me and Him, then i will rise, i will rise to any challenge that comes to me because God has already spoke.
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| the waiting roomEverybody hates the waiting room right? I mean who wants to sit there waiting on this guy who supposedly can "fix" them, if there's anything wrong to begin with. What's even worse is we even see other people who were in the waiting room with us who get to see the doctor before we do. We even see them leave happy, leave "fixed." Ya know what's funny, we can have what we believe are symptoms of sickness but then when a doctor tells us we are ok, we just believe it. We no longer question whether or not we're sick because the M.D. gave us a different report. I think we as humans walk around with sick lives waiting for someone who has a better life to tell us that we're ok, and then we just believe it. We base the evaluation of our own lives on experiences other people have had in the same waiting room that we're in. As we wait for life to fix itself or wait for something greater to happen to us we're told that as we wait, we'll only get stronger. "Oh it'll get better." "It's all in God's timing." "You're being tested right now, just make it through." Some of us get sick of the excuses and take life into our own hands and we begin to try to fix it ourselves. So God didn't "come through" for our finances so we work more to pay for lives we want to live. Some of us are in a waiting room of love and we wait for Mr. or Mrs. Right and God hasn't seemed to send them yet so we settle for the next best thing: anything that won't make us wait anymore. It's like "God I've been so good for so long, when will it be my turn?" I believe that in this waiting room is where we most of the time lose our passion. We've become so good and looking like we have it all together. Yet while looking well, we are so far from being passionate that we don't even enjoy the thing God has called us to do because all we can see is our waiting room. We're portrayed that the good life is a "deal or no deal" or "if we play our cards right then..." I've come to realize this, our waiting room is not THE waiting room. the way WE see the world is not THE way the world is. Your neighbor is waiting for something to, maybe they're waiting for you. It's like I dream of the day when I make millions and then I can buy people cars and meet people's needs so everyone around me won't "need" anymore. But ya know what, God could call me to give 50 cents to one person everyday for the rest of my life and me never be a millionaire because that in God's will can go farther than millions in mine. I can no longer look at my waiting room as mine, I have to look at it as something that I can make better for everyone else. And as I sit in this waiting room and wonder when I will get "fixed" or when someone or something will come along that will renew my passion I will remember God's decree with me that as long as I wait on Him, He will renew my strength. He'll give me everything I need to do what He wants me to do. What are you waiting for? | | |
| get a griphm.
the average college student leaves it's insitution with at least
$10,000 of credit card debt. every other person you see today will end
up in divorce and/or has already been affected by it as well. one might
say that most children feel the need to impress their parents. the fear
of disappointing thier parents haunts them into their adulthood. I mean
it feels good to call home and tell mom and dad that you scored the big
goal. It feels good to show parents the 4.0 gpa. It feels real good to
bring mrs. right home to momma and hear mom say "i really like her."
There are a million things that toil our brains as we grow up that
sometimes can create chaos in a world we are trying to keep up with.
And the second we begin to lose track of the little things in our life,
everything and everyone tells us to get a grip. It's almost like we
classify people who don't have a grip as a "head case." Advice given to
them may sound like "you need to get it together." The car breaks down,
and you're already living paycheck to paycheck, and all the friends
that are suppose to be your friends just aren't "friend" enough for
what you're going through and we get is another "get a grip." I got
honest with myself and God the other night and what came out was an "Ya
know God, I don't have a grip! In fact, I haven't had a grip in a long
time." His response to me wasn't what I was expecting. This thought of
having a grip idealy seemed so nice comparing myself to others thinking
"they have it all together" or in other words... they have a grip.
Instead God showed me that this grip that I seem to strive for is the
exact same thing he wants the most, that grip. He wants to be the one
who holds my life together. He's the one who wants to have a grip on
me. So i live for God the best I know how but free from the worries of
having to have it all together. I've encountered God and He has changed
my eyes from seeing the chaos that I can't fix to being surrounded by
the palm of His hand.
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| home
to nick and the cross current crew,
thank you for an amazing summer. the things i learned this summer will
go with me forever. next gen, thanks for being family to me and giving
me something to look forward to when I'm home. Now I find myself
heading back to the college dorm. There i will hoop and attempt to be
the real me. But fa real, the man above this blog is a man who has
modeled how to live for Jesus in a real way. and to him I am grateful. I pray the best for Pastor
Nick and Cross Current. And Next Gen, you have stole my heart and i
love you. i'm out
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| Why can't I be like you?there will always be that one person that truly looks up to you. there will always be someone that wants to be like you. if you have ever seen the show "why can't i be like you?" on MTV, you should. basically on this show there is someone who doesn't like who they are, but they love who somebody else is and so mtv pays a cool guy or girl 1,000 bucks to let the admirer to follow them around for 48 hours trying to be like them. It's very interesting. At the end of the show the host asked one question: "so do you like the old you or the new you better?" There's always somebody watching you thinking to themself: "If i could just be like them." I know i do. I have friends, men of God, who I look at and think to myself "If I could just be humble like that, or if I could just speak like that, or think like that." The list goes on. It's funny, I'm down here in orlando chillin with my guy Drizzie. If you don't know drizzie, well get to know him cuz he's just the realest. anyway, my man driz loves to dance. it's what he does. so we're hanging out and a friend of ours starts asking some questions to driz about some dancing tips for another friend. so driz begins to give his little speech and as he was going through his speech he started to slow down and really really speak to this guy. at the end of all drizzie's tips to this guy he said "this is how you learn. This is how you don't suck." It's hard for me to imagine Jesus saying those words exactly like that, but He did use Drizzie's words to change my heart. I'm me. and that's ok. I have every answer for every problem that can come my way cuz I have a Bible! that's why I don't suck. More and more God continues to show me to just be me no matter what. He made me. Truthfully, he made in a way so I don't suck at basketball, at editing videos, at relationships, he made me in a way so i don't suck at life! yeah, I have role models, I have people who I admire and motivate me to be a better man of God. But The only person i truly want to be like is Jesus, all these others are nothing more than chasings after the wind. There will always be some other person that I will want to be like, and If all i do is chase that, I'll never get the chance to be me. much love. i'm out. | | |
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