| | what a year it's beenIt's official - my first year in banking is over!!! I haven't
slept for a week but I think now is an important time to reflect and
look back....
This last year was quite... both uneventful and eventful. I
finally fessed up to having a serious boyfriend after about a year of
contemplation, I worked a LOT... and with results different from what I
expected. I almost completely left college behind me and started
again with a clean slate. Some things were good, some not so
good. It's hard to be more specific, since so much of it was a
blur, but I still feel like I am still at that precipice waiting for
this inertia to let go. J tells me it will fall in about a year
and a half from now. Let's hope he's right.... uncertainty is
quite the irritating feeling.
I feel quite numb from the world now, very much separated from the rest
of world in a way I never was before. I people watch as an active
activity now... I often wander into grocery stores and furniture stores
with nothing to buy but just for the thrill of seeing what real
domestic life is like... crazy huh? It's been hard and
frustrating and tough, but I still am happy, I really do believe, for
the chance to learn and grow. The more and more I live in the
happy place that is EMA, the more I look back to my interview for my
full time job at CS... I was with this superstar MD who was surprised
that I had played rugby while in London, given my stature / body type
etc. I had the whole story set up to an art... how I had worked
really hard to achieve something no one thought I could and how I
embraced change blah blah blah. Rolls off the tongue well and
answers those "give me an example of an achievement.." questions pretty
well. Most people took this answer for what it kind of was at
this point; tired, cookie cutter, and plastic. But this MD, I
remember quite clearly, took a moment before responding, "it's true you
know. Sometimes life will bring you to seemingly
insurmountable circumstances, but it's not until you throw yourself
into the fire that you truly realize what you are capable of."
I remember this because at the time I smiled and was really just giddy
inside because my normally shoo-ed response actually elicited a good
reaction from an interviewer for the job of my dreams. But then
something scary happened: I got the job and wasn't sure what to really
do next. After months and months of prep tho, it's our turn to
step up and it's scary. Terrifying. And yet...
exciting. Because I've done this baptism by fire before, it
excites and invigorates me. It's a time to prove what I am truly
capable of.
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| | Posted 6/27/2007 1:30 AM - 0 comments
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