| It is update time because Lauren is at a very strange point in her existence coupled with very productive energy which leads her to comtemplate excessively this very strange existence. I live in two homes. You know the thing people say about how you overlook certain things for the one you love. That is how i feel right now. My belongings are scattered and constantly being relocated and that bugs the hell out of me. Sometimes i cant stand it, but i keep doing it anyways. You know the other saying about how many women does it take to change a light bulb? Doesnt matter, they just sit around and bitch about it. Well when i get overwhelmed i stand there and bitch about it till i feel a little better then i pick it up and start the process all over again... I sleep in my dorm room at most 2 nights a week. I dont approve nor condone this behavior, but when you think to yourself, y not? its hard to stop. He's no help at all. If it were his way i would be living there. Tho since he has failed to get me a key, would be a tiddle bit difficult. I could live there to save myself 2700 dollars and thats just 6 months. Except that i couldnt live there because two boys live there. Boys who, though they know how to put the toilet seat down, leave a very messy kitchen, and bed room. So on the one hand i hate my life right now, but im getting to spend 80% of my time with the love of my life... I only get annoyed with him occasionally. He never wants to be alone, living with 7 ppl in a 3 bedroom house he never had the option. Me growing up a defective only child relish in my alone time. I need it. and i do get it during the week. its the friday through tuesday that tries my temper. I just dont feel right about not sleeping in my dorm that i pay 662 dollars a month for. BUT on the other hand his place is much more comfortable and has food and good company and free satelite TV with pay per view and porn! and the ocassional alcoholic beverage. its a good life he offers but my baptist upbringing has a problem with it, and i just can shake that little voice in my head... So what is the right thing to do? Mom says-be a good little christian and graduate college and stay away from boys. Dad says- you need to do whats right for you and not care about the family ( oh yes, i was shocked when he told me that). I could live with ben but i think the money i save would be the motivating factor and thats just not right. i would hate it if that tore us apart. -later days |
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| Im back in north texas. its cool yo. i got drunk my first night here =D tequilla is my poison watch out guys, laurens gonna be an alcoholic ive gotta go buy books and say bye to all my money =( -later days |
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| im in deep doo-doo i lost my ID |
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| Hes not ever gonna give up on me and i love him for it. Im gonna marry him one day... |
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| To whom it may concern: My Birthday party has been cancelled.  |
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