I met a girl this weekend.  Don’t get me wrong.  There is no way, other than a sick twist of fate, I will ever hear from this girl again.  Our paths crossed, in a very non-romantic way, on one bus ride between Portland & Seattle.

She believes that everything happens for a reason.  Well I hope that she looks at our talk, and takes my advice.  What little advice I did give her, was given purely for the reason that I can not imagine someone having her life.  I mean, I know that people are out there…living far worse lives in fact…but I don’t meet them.  I hope that she will listen to reason, and not make the almost inevitable mistakes she will make.

First, let me start by telling you what she knows about me:

1)      I am from Seattle.

2)      My mom is 62 years old.

That is it.  Not my name…phone number…e-mail…anything.  I prefer it that way.  Keep this in mind when I tell you all about what I learned of her life, and you might see how one sided this conversation was.

The easiest way for me to do this, because she skipped around quite a bit, is to do it in what I could piece together as the chronological order of her life.  I will go a head and bold my advice to her.

When she was 17, she got married to a guy in the military.  I can not remember his name off hand.  Apparently, this guy cheated on her quite a bit.  She said, and I quote, “Like I always say, ‘Cheat on me once, shame on you.  Cheat on me twice, shame on me.  Cheat on me three times, I’m gone.’”  To this little gem, I responded, “It should really be, cheat one me once, I’m gone.”  I told her that there is no excuse for cheating.  She tried to make excuses for him, but I just kept reminding her of that.

When she was 18-19ish, she had a daughter with her husband, Aubrey.  Aubrey apparently has heart problems, and had two surgeries by age 2.  I was kind of scared to ask if it could have been some sort of defect caused by substance abuse.

Sometime between the time she got married through now, her father was sent to prison here in Washington for meth.  I did not ask if it was for the manufacturing, distribution,  or possession of meth.  I didn’t want to ask.

She separated from her husband in March 2009.  He apparently beat her.  She said it was the first time he did that.  I actually gave her kudos for having the balls to leave.

Sometime in the summer of 2009, she let Aubrey spend the weekend with her estranged husband.  When Aubrey was returned to her, the 2-year old had bruises on her face from where this asshole of a father beat her.  That’s right, he beat a 2-year old.  She said that you could see the space between his knuckles on the bruises on her face.  He is in prison now, and the divorce has been finalized.  She has full custody of Aubrey, and there will be a restraining order against him when he gets out.

Before her divorce was finalized, she started dating this guy named Kevin.  Kevin was previously in jail for meth also.  Again, I didn’t ask if it was for manufacturing, distribution, or possession.  They had moves in together, and she wanted to marry Kevin after her father got out of prison.

The day after Thanksgiving of 2009, Kevin received a call from his mom.  Apparently, Kevin’s step-dad was addicted to World of Warcraft, and his mom in some sort of angry rage destroyed his keyboard so he couldn’t play.  Things escaladed, and Kevin, Amber, and Aubrey went over there to his mom’s house.  At some point, Amber and Aubrey were going to the store, and before Amber got in the car, she heard, Pop, pop, pop.  She ran back in the house, and found Kevin’s step-dad with a gun, his mom on the ground dead, and Kevin on the ground bleeding.  Kevin yelled at her to “Get the fuck out!” and Amber ran.  She called 911, and drove away.  Kevin’s step-dad then apparently turned the gun on himself.  Kevin also called 911 after the step-dad had off’d himself.  Kevin was airlifted to a hospital, but died in surgery.  A double murder-suicide, over World of Warcraft.  I am sure there was more involved in the reasoning, and I am sure alcohol/drugs were involved.  But the keyboard seemed to be the catalyst for this whole tragic mess.  Apparently the step-father was on probation for domestic violence against the mother, and she had jus recently moved back into the house.

She was choked up when talking about this to me.  I was shocked that she was telling a complete stranger, on the bus.  I later found newspaper articles online about it.  Truly tragic.  This made me very, very sad.

Soon after this tragic event, the house where it all happened was robbed.  The degenerates in Forest Grove, OR figured since no one lived there anymore since they were all dead, that it was free pickings.  I found an article where 4 guys were arrested.  Classy.  Stay classy Forest Grove.

Since the death, she has started dating Kevin’s best friend.  She said she “thinks that is what Kevin would want.”  She is not really into the guy romantically, but has already become pregnant by him.  She said she no longer has the baby.  I didn’t want to ask if it was a miscarriage or an abortion.  Neither would surprise me.  So she doesn’t want to really be with him, but thinks what her dead boyfriend would want and this guy apparently makes good money and is in love with her.  In love with her so much that he told her…

And I am about to tell you…so be warned, it is about to get real…

He loved her so much he would lick her asshole if she wanted.

My reaction was, “Well, there is that.”  She told a complete stranger…on a bus, with people sitting around, THAT!

That.

Here is where I interjected a little bit of fatherly advice, If you’re not into the guy, don’t have a kid with him.  It wasn’t the last time I told her this.

She then tells me that she wants to get breast implants.  This new guy would be willing to buy her fake boobs if she did one of two things for him:

1)      She had his child.

2)      She had anal sex with him.

Troy’s little bit of wisdom for this part of the conversation: You should go have anal with him, because you should not have a child with him.

Those were words that I never thought I would say.  Ever.

What kind of guy would make that offer?  Really?  What kind of girl would consider that offer?  Really?

Now to the age thing.  The reason she knows my mom’s age.  Apparently, her mom is 40.  Amber is 21.  Her 40 year old mother is dating, or was just recently dating, one of Amber’s 21 year old friends.  Ohhhhh yeahhhhh….nothing says awesome like dating your daughter’s friend.   Sometime in there I told her my mom was ancient compared to her mom.  She called her mom a GILF.  Which was just funny.

Now, all of this talk…this tragic tale…came after she hooked me in.  I very rarely talk to strangers, unless I am talked to first.  She asked me if I lived in Seattle, and I said yes.  I asked her if she lived in Portland, and she said she lived out in the country.  She said she had been to downtown Portland twice when she was, and I quote, “drunk and going to titty bars.”

That was the START to the conversation.  From there, I closed my lap top, thought “I can watch ‘Shaun of the Dead’ anytime,” and got ready to hear her speak.  I was all in.

In retrospect, I wish I would have watched the movie.  Amber’s life depresses me.

I wish her all the luck in the world.  I want nothing but the best for her and Aubrey.  I just hope she starts making some better decisions.