I'm still alive yay but I think I'm getting sick meh

I don't want to be back home. I love camp. I want my life to be camp. I don't want to go back to school. So there.

There are so many stories I could tell about camp, but I think I'll tell the one that stuck out the most to me.

In the beginning, my junior camp girls did not mesh at all. Three of them were returns from my cabin last year (Esther, Johannah, and Noa) and then there were two new ones (Ana who was extremly mature for her just turned 10 years old and Masha who was crazy very young 9 year old) It's amazing to see two girls basically the same age and the age gap in between them. I did not think we would get to go to the end of the year party. To get to the party, the individual cabins have to reach a point bar. Points are reached by getting points for cabin cleanup, lights out on time, memorizing aleph bet, memorizing memory verses, and Gilgal Gazette. I was very discouraged and told them that I didn't think that we would be going because of how we meshed together.

In the middle of the second week things started changing, and I can even say where they started changing. We decided to prank the boys. We blew up 4 huge garbage bags full of balloons and filled each balloon with candy. Then we snuck into the boys cabins and put the balloons in there. This "reverse prank" became semi-known as the prank that kept pranking. The boys saw the balloons, stamped on them to pop them, realized there was candy, ate it all. It turns out that there were balloons, candy and candy wrappers all over the boys' cabins. It was amazing.

Anyways, while we were prepping for this prank the girls clicked together. We still had our moments, but we were functioning as a cabin should.

After a lot of hard work on the girls' parts, we reached the point bar. They worked hard. They deserved it. However, they found out that one of the boys cabins did not reach the bar.

They felt so bad about that. They wanted to know if they could give up their points to give to them. We talked about it, voted, talked some more, voted some more, and I finally went to talk to the camp director about it. Twister talked to them and they voted anonymously. Four out of the five girls voted to have the other cabin go to the party instead of us.

Even though we still ended up going because it wasn't unanimous, the fact that they were even willing to consider having another cabin who did not get the points and did not work hard at it go in our place when we worked extremly hard to go amazed me.

The first week I had given a talk on humility, on how Jesus was willing to come down and be like us and how almost disgusting it was. Then I had each cabin take another cabin's name and they had to do something humbling for them the next couple days. It was encouraging to see that maybe my campers had learned something and taken it to heart.

Even if they don't remember about humility and forget everything (which I doubt because these kids remember everything about camp) I'll remember it and be encouraged, because even when I don't think things are getting through to people, maybe they really are. And God is always faithful.

And a couple of camp pics.

Field trip to the way cool science musam and my hair stood up. Way cool.

Ana, Esther and Masha watching out our window while a prank is done in the field

The prank! Including putting two peoples stuff out in the field on the volleyball court and having them play over it. Whoever lost had to sleep outside.

Basically the entire camp on a hike

Me and Asha, one of the coolest girls ever. If it wasn't creepy to go out for lunch/coffee with and 8 year old, she would totally be a close friend.

Repar (my ATL) and me presenting our awesome tribe flag. Naphtali we were.

Our cabin. Back row (L-R) Ana, Reptar, Noa, me, front row (L-R) Johannah, Esther, Masha.

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I think xanga and I may end our relationship. I think it's just time for that. Maybe we'll pick it up again soon. I don't know.

God is good all the time, all the time God is good

1. It's ridiculously hot

2. Caedmon's Call is recording a new album, Overdressed, and the new song There is a Reason is awesome and you can listen to it at their myspace. http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=32054333

3. My iPod's battery is not holding which is not cool

4. My room looks like a tornado has gone through

5. We have to boil water because of a watermain break last thursday. Which is annoying. But at least we have running water now. My mom thought we had to boil water for 6 minutes, then yesterday we looked at the paper they gave us and it's actually 1 minute. I guess the water is extra clean.

6. I have to send out support letters for camp. So if you'd like a copy message me and I'll send you one =)

7. I made cookies last night

8. I need shampoo and conditioner

9. I'm trying to decide whether to bring Lance the Turtle Shell with me to camp.

10. I'M GOING TO CAMP TODAY! I'm so excited. But I'm supposed to leave in an hour and I'm not nearly ready. Oh dear.

God is good all the time, all the time God is good

Thanks for the prayers for my grandfather. He's doing a lot better, but still needs healing. Most importantly spiritual healing.

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I got home on friday evening, and basically haven't done anything since.

Here's the summer plan:

Camp, UMJC conference, camp, breathe a little, back to school. Sounds like a good plan to me. The UMJC conference is in Chicago,I've never been to a UMJC conference or Chicago, so I'm kinda excited.

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I feel overwhelmed. Like I can't do anything right. Like I'm useless. I hate feeling like this. I don't know why I feel like this, but I do. I can't go to camp like this.

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Went to homegroup tonight with my parents. I'm apparently a very interesting person. Avi (2 1/2) was fascinated by my chewing gum and Jonathan (8 months) was attacking my toes. Apparently purple nail polish is something that is desired when you are 8 months old. It was quite funny.

Daniel (almost 4) on Saturday: I don't remember your name but I think you're part of my family.

So sad that he doesn't remember who I am =( That's one reason I hate being away at school. The younger kids at Shul don't really remember who I am, and life keeps going on without me. 

God is good all the time, all the time God is good

  My grandfather isn't doing very well. He hasn't been doing well for a while. Since I was 14 he has been doing pretty poorly. I know he had health problems before that, and has been very depressed for a while (and basically made growing up for my mom not very pleasant)

It was heartbreaking going to see him a couple weeks ago. He was almost docile. It was almost scary. He wasn't arguing, he wasn't picking anyone apart...

I've never really liked him. I've always been scared of him. I mean, I love him. He's my grandfather. I kinda have to. But I really do not like him. He was a nice person in public and around friends, but around family he was not.

Yesterday I was sitting by the lake, feeling really depressed about it. I feel majorly guilty about not liking my grandfather. What kind of a person am I? This guilt just keep weighing me down.

I hear all the time about people loving their grandfathers or having good relationships with them. I have no idea what that kind of a relationship is really like.

I not only feel guilty about not sharing Jesus with him. It's hard to do when you're 1. scared to death him, 2. supposed to respect your elders, 3. don't want to offend him because you want to keep family relationships open and not do the whole "I'm not talking to you for 15 years" (and yes, that has happened several times in my mom's family.)

Then the thoughts of should I go home? Because I only have a week left to this class. When my mom called and said he wasn't doing well, I asked her what kind of not doing well. Not doing well as in not doing very well, or not doing well as in dying not doing well...and yes, I know everyone is dying. She didn't know.

Anyways, so I was feeling guilty and sitting by the lake. I sat there for about an hour. Ate my lunch. Tried to read for my class. Looked at the waves. Waves take my breath away. They're amazing. I looked at the horizon. You can't see the other side of the lake. It's just water. There's no land...just water and then sky. And I thought "This is what it feels like to be at the edge of the world" like you're going to fall off at any minute. It's scary to go into the unknown. I can't imagine. But maybe I can...isn't that what life's like?

Here's a random thought. The cloudless sunset is pretty boring. There are no colors, no contrast. The best is when there are clouds.

I really need to take more pics of sunsets. You can't have too many pics of sunsets in Oswego. Every one of them is different. I'll need to kick myself out of my room tomorrow. Unless there's a thunderstorm. Then it's not happening.

Signing out from Oz
-Jen

God is good all the time, all the time God is good

Currently Listening 4400 see related

Kinda bored, so I'm doing personality quizzes. I haven't done them for a while, they're fun =D

You Are an Afternoon Person

You can find energy any time of the day ... or night! You prefer to be out and about when most other people are. Very early mornings or very late nights aren't really your thing. You're practically solar powered, and the afternoon is when do best.

Your Inner Child Is Happy

You see life as simple, and simple is a very good thing. You're cheerful and upbeat, taking everything as it comes. And you decide not to worry, even when things look bad. You figure there's just so many great things to look forward to.

You Belong in Spring

Optimistic, lively, and almost always happy with the world... You can truly appreciate the blooming nature of spring. Whether you're planting flowers or dyeing Easter eggs, spring is definitely your season!

Your 1996 Theme Song Is: Macarena by Los Del Rio

When I dance they call me macarena And the boys, they say that I'm buena They all want me, they can't have me So they all come and dance beside me

You Are 78% Creative

You are beyond creative. You are a true artist - even if it's not in the conventional sense of the word. You love creating for its own sake, and you find yourself quite inspired at times.

What Your Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich Means

Your eating style is reserved. You are a bit of a fussy eater, and you have very specific ways you like your food prepared. You have a total sweet tooth. When you can get away with it, you like to have dessert before dinner! Your taste in food tends to be quite eclectic and wide. You are an adventurous eater, and you like many types of cuisines. You are probably a fairly normal, upper middle class person. You don't rock the boat too often. You never really grew up. While your childlike innocence is charming, you often just come across as a big baby. Precise and controlled, you can be a bit anal retentive when it comes to how you like things. You're definitely a perfectionist.

You Should Travel to India

You're a passionate, gusty traveler - and India's gritty urban centers won't scare you away. Maybe you'll take in the Taj Mahal, eat the best curry of your life, or attend a huge street festival.

Your Brain is Purple

Of all the brain types, yours is the most idealistic. You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasies are intense. Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places - or a very different life for yourself.

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds. You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life. Also nostalgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

Your Linguistic Profile:

55% General American English 30% Yankee 10% Dixie 0% Midwestern 0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

 

Your Driving Is is: 80% Male, 20% Female

According to studies, you generally drive like a typical male. You're confident in your driving skills, and hardly any situation gets the better of you. And while you may have a few tickets under your belt, you're still a very good driver.

*grin* OK, so I sometimes drive a little aggressivly...ya gotta do what ya gotta do to drive in NY!

That was fun. I just wasted way too much time on that. I should do something productive. Really.

God is good all the time, all the time God is good