yay it's my birthday, but i'm already all out of birthday cake. my little sister made me a cookie monster cake that i absolutly adored, and then ate all of.maybe one of these days i'll give a real update, but what exactly is a real update anymore....

"Nicky, you look really skinny. Have you been eating?"

not exactly something you want to say to somebody who has had a history with eating disorders. this also doesn't help....

"2 WHOLE roast beef sandwiches? and then four pieces of cookie dough? Woah Nicky."

whatever i guess i'm over it now. it's just sometimes when your life so out of control, food is the one thing that i can control.

i need to get out of this house. if not out of wichita. why couldn't i have gone away to college like i wanted 2 all along. so far at least i've made it out of my dad's. that helps. holly was watching home videos today, and that got way to wierd for me. my dad has serious problems. but you know i have to realize i can't change him.

same w/ kirk. i've given up trying to fix him. if he doesn't want to change he probably won't. it just gets so rediculous some times, i worry constantly that something will happen to him and he'll get into even more trouble than he's in now.

not everything's depressing in my life. over the summer i made two new friends and it's crazy how much fun we can have together.

pshhhh. idk. anymore really.

 

i love my b's sooooo much. woo graduate me they did.