"Stop Abusing Me!" - The Word "Literally"

I just saw a commercial in which a woman says to the camera matter-of-factly, "So I go on vehix.com, and you can literally take a test drive."

No, ma'am, you can't. Unless going to the website somehow teleports you into the driver's seat of the car you're researching, I'm afraid that you're a damn liar. What you mean is, you can watch a video of someone driving the car, which would make it a virtual test drive. In fact, the very next person in the commercial contradicts you, saying, "It's a virtual test drive."

So, lady-who-misuses-the-word-"literally," I will not go to vehix.com and virtually take a test drive. In fact, I want to beat you over the head, literally.

(No really, I mean it. I want to hit you in the face with a dictionary. Feel the power of words!)

It's Ironic, Really

Coffee has such a rich, aromatic scent, but it somehow leaves your mouth smelling like balls afterwards.

Ambigrams - Eric

Eric

I was asked last night why I don't have an ambigram of my own name. I couldn't think of a particularly good reason, so I got on my tablet and doodled this up. Meh, curves are tricky.

Never Gonna Give You Up

I just rick rolled my cousin by phone, and it was glorious. I called him up, told him to hold on a sec, then held the phone up to my speakers as Rick Astley played. He was not amused:

"Oh my god...you are so gay. I fucking hate you, dude."

I'll sleep well tonight.

Ambigrams - Mary

Mary

Sketch by request, fountain pen on scratch paper.