Wow, I am a once-a-month updater now? Sad day! Well, actually, not really. I'm cool with that. Now that I work ALL the time, I don't have anything interesting to say usually.

My weeks are jammed packed these days.

Mondays and Wednesdays after work I try to work out... my buddy who runs the gym in the building lets me work out there whenever I want for free. He met with me for nearly an hour Monday to set me up on a routine for what I need to be doing every time I go in. He is a professional personal trainer, so the fact that he'd freely give his time to help me out is just so cool to me, incredibly kind. Anyhoo, I'm excited about the routine... having something to do every time I go in makes me feel a lot more comfortable in the gym.. I've had some serious anxiety issues with that! 

Tuesdays and Thursdays I still do tutoring. PrePaw is a fantastic girl, she is 12... she was shy when I first met her, but now she lets her little attitude beam... haha. And boy is it ever an attitude! I love it. I don't get off work til 6, so I'm half an hour late to tutoring every day we have it.. she always makes sure to give me a dirty look for that right off the bat, but we have such a good time together for the half an hour I do get to work with her. And I really think she's learning. Well, I hope so at least!

I've also been getting to know a boy, his name is Bryan Bendawald. I think that's a pretty strong name. Anyway, I met him online (gasp) and we met for really real a few weeks ago. I suppose he's the "boyfriend" now. I like him, whatever he's called. Right now I'm just spending time with him.. and not too much at that. But the time we do get to hang out is good! Ish GoOod. Sunday is his birthday, so I get to tour around with him and meet his families this weekend. That should be fun.

I had a tooth extracted yesterday, so I'm on vicodin today. Its really been a miserable couple of days. I hate being in pain, and I hate feeling dizzy from drugs. Bleh. One more day of pained, drugged work left and then I get to enjoy my weekend. Its about time

My new job hurts my brain... and it makes my family talk to me like I'm a grown-up. Both of those things make me uncomfortable. But I like it, and soon enough I'll get it down... especially when I can just be there and not be going back and forth between the cafe and the PT office.

I'm going with Chelle for her final fitting today. I can hardly wait. I haven't seen her in her dress at all... *Sigh*.. I will wear waterproof mascara just in case.

I'm really cold right now, but I'm eating the world's most delicious banana. Too bad for the rest of you, I got the best one ever.

I filled out an Eharmony profile for kicks n giggles. According to their personality profile, I'm right down the middle for everything-- a little bit of this, a little bit of that, but I am a FULL BLOWN procrastinator. Ha. I'm totally serious, too. That's what it says. Hehe, I'll use the age-old excuse, I'm an artist! We do amazing things, but we do them when we want

I love folk music ^_^

I spend 70% of my time defending myself to people... my thoughts, actions, heart... etc... And I just realized right now that that time is actually spent mostly defending myself to me.

I'm (almost) an open book. I tell a lot of people a lot of things. I describe in detail. I give every bit of history I know. I explain my entire thought process and each little event along way.

Then, after hearing my description of whatever situation I'm in, my friends will comment. Since I'm usually being stupid (I will deny it then, but not now) the comment is usually something like "That's stupid." My automatic response is, "they don't know, really." BUT, they do! Because I make sure they do! Their views are based off of MY words. So, I think that their views are actually my views and I just keep it a secret from myself.

Its like a math problem I'm working on in my head, I have all the variables and I know the formulas, but I just ignore the answer all together. And just like a math problem, if I tell someone else all the information I have they can figure it out just the same as I would. But I get stuck on the solution, because if I even have the nerve to try and work through the numbers, I find answers I don't like and I keep trying to work something else out of it...

Its as if I think the solution isn't directly related to the problem! Isn't that WEIRD?! Not everything is as subjective as I'd like to think. Generally there is a simple truth... especially if all the people I explain myself to have the same sort of answers for me. But I just keep on trying to change the outcome by doing the same thing over and over.

I think, most likely, that this qualifies me as a Crazy.

Just thought I'd share.