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e_lizabeth
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Name: Elizabeth
Country: United States
State: Illinois
Metro: Peoria
Birthday: 4/22/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: Jesus, music, Aaron, school, learning, Spanish, missions, traveling, summer, rain, storms...
Expertise: Being a [good] student...
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  consumingfire23
MSN: elittle04
Member Since:
2/9/2004
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| Thought I'd get a fresh start with a new Xanga.
Click here. | | |
| I have no good reason for writing right now. My only stipulation is that I write at least one entry per day unless I'm gone or extremely busy.
Yesterday, now that I look back on it, was as close to a regular day as I've been since I got home. I had my sense of humor and I was less wigged out about things. Good thing, because I went to church totally forgetting that some Southern Gospel quartet was coming and singing. So I had to sit through nearly two hours of crappy music. Okay, I appreciate the guys' voices and the dude who played piano... but seriously. All the songs sound the same. They're so predictable and they're all about going to heaven. Heaven's nice, I'm sure, but I personally don't want to dwell on it. At least Dave Hanna was there to make fun of it with me. Kind of.
Aaron and I went out to Denny's after he was done at Fusion (which I'm leaning more towards lately) and we had coffee, pie, and conversation. It was nice.
Well, best be going. Grandparents are here. | | |
| Today is my parents' 24th anniversary.
I laid out today and managed to get my stomach and upper legs a little pink. Whoops. I was gonna stay outside, but the sun just got too hot so I came in... took a bath... blow-dried my hair, which is retarded because no matter what I do with it, it does what it wants. It needs an attitude adjustment. Maybe it's mad at me for letting it be this washed-out icky reddish-blonde-light-brown color.
I've been having the hardest time picking out what I want to wear. I'll get one outfit on and then change like five times. It's ridiculous. It's probably just reflecting what's going on in my head. Still kinda messed up.
I thought this summer would be better. A true break from school... a constructive and productive summer filled with hanging out with people and exercising... HA. It's been a summer with quitting a job, my grandpa dying unexpectedly, going to Bolivia (which was awesome, but I had no time to process anything afterwards...), having a grueling week with my side of my relationship with Aaron... reminiscing back to three summers ago when things were good... very good.
The past two summers have also been good, but in different ways. Two summers ago Aaron and I started dating, last summer we celebrated one year... but last summer was also filled with anxiety of starting life at Bradley.
I think I spend too much time in the past and in the future and not much in the present. I spend too much time wishing for the past and worrying about the future.
I need to just live.
"And you can't build a house of leaves
And live like it's an evergreen
It's just a season thing
It's just this thing that seasons do..."
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| I apologize, another entry.
Some progress was made tonight. With the help, patience, love, utter amazing-ness of my awesome boyfriend, I figured some things out. Things concerning why I've been this way lately, reasons why I was closing myself off to him...
Earlier today I was toying with the (fleeting) feeling of wanting to give up. Just close myself off completely... but his persistence (and my buried common sense) have paid off, and things are semi-normal right now.
Went to church theater rehearsal... we read through the play just once... there are three short acts, and Mila and I switched parts so now I'm the valley girl. I'm excited because I can do that part pretty well anyway. Maybe a little too well. Lord knows I've always been the gullible klutzy one of the group (another random memory of Now and Then assignments... I was Chrissy!)... anyway, it was fun listening to people getting into their characters. Julie was telling people to not worry or get stressed out... I won't... my goal is to have fun with this. No reason to get wigged out.
I realized I'm using a lot of ellipses points... sorry. Lol.
Good night. | | |
| I don't really like writing an everyday entry right after a deep one because the deep one loses a little meaning. Oh well.
I went to Walmart to get a few things today, including a new suit. The one I got from Penney's didn't fit right. Get this- I paid half at Walmart of what I paid at Penney's and it fits better. It's the first time I've worn a two-piece in who knows how long.
And I did what I said I wouldn't do this summer- waste time by laying out in the backyard. Hey, I have nothing else more constructive to do during the day, so why not? And I even read mindless magazines.
Now I reek of sunscreen and heat so I'm gonna go take a shower, FYI. | | |
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