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| | Special Edition: Edison Chan Sex Scandal, Part 2Previous pieces and updates in this series
Part 1: The Man, the Pics, Sensationalism (Pics)
Part 2: PRO-spective, Historical Perspective, and Retrospective
...PRO-spective
Coming from an American point of view, this sex scandal involving Edison Chen doesn't seem to generate much sensationalism, because we don't necessarily view it as something out of the ordinary for celebrities. In Hong Kong, he's being crucified in the press as a monster who's pretty much destroyed innocence as we know it. Come on...the running joke has always been about the asexuality of Asian men, but the punchline has always been, "Look at China...1 billion people shows Asian men are plenty virile."
The truth of the matter is that Edison Chen represents a prototypical young Asian guy who certainly gets enough action. What complicates this identity is the fact that he's a celebrity and rich. Of course, we wouldn't be caring much about him if he wasn't worth millions of dollars in film, advertising, and products. As much as the Hong Kong media would like to vilify him, we all know Chinese folks suffer from the undeniable, irrefutable hunger for gossip. For the men, it's even truer that they have an insatiable hunger for pornography and most of the scandal has more or less been centered around the actresses linked to Edison Chen and their "slutty" appearances. I would like to point out that there has been little to no chatter about how "slutty" Edison is, not to mention how his full frontals hasn't even been very important to the scandal either.
Without condoning or condemning his passion for homemade porno, you have to weigh out what Edison has actually done. He's engaged in sex with many, many women and taken pics and video footage of his exploits. If he's a non-celebrity, this probably wouldn't be of much interest to folks other than those horny for some jerk-off material. Considering that all of the women identified throughout this ordeal are all legal adults, I won't buy into any type of legal or criminal action directed towards Edison Chen himself. Feminists should join on the bandwagon to not blame him for "exploiting" these women, because feminist extremists should agree that these actresses could have done the common-sense thing and smacked him over the head about whipping out the camera during coitus. I refuse to believe that his adorable looks can knock any women senseless enough, particularly for a female celebrity with everything to lose, to passively go along or be manipulated into posing for sex photos. As a real life lesson, all starlets should either say no, pack an EMP device, or put those knickers back on and leave if any actor decides to play Pam & Tommy.
Or maybe he's so irresistible that no one has been able to say no? If we want to be selfish for just one second, you got to admit that Edison's not shy about his body, even though everyone could benefit from some manscaping.
...historical perspective
Again, we all can't help but feel bad for Edison, because sex scandals inevitably focus on the women and it's the women who may have an inkling of a chance to bounce back into a viable career. Male celebrities, on the other hand, tend to suffer from a rather instant drain on their fame once the novelty of their sexual escapades fades from the limelight.
Silver lining? I tell you, Edison...it wasn't a gay sex scandal.
Even though it would disappoint 10% of the population (or about 85% of the Castro), Edison's career won't end up like Simon Rex, who's still trying to maintain his D-list status. I do have to say that we don't want him to end up like Limp Bizkit either, because I got to say that Edison's got a much better looking phallus than ol' Durst.
The grim news is that Edison can't make a rebound like Brad Pitt or Colin Farrell, mainly because Edison is not three things: white, muscularly built, and living in the US. Of course, this is not a shortcoming at all...we are all made the way we are and certainly no one has any distaste for the way he's built at all. However, there is hope! I am very willing to console Edison with with some sense of optimism. You know that celebrities really make it this far in their lives not because of dumb luck and if you really try to do your best, you can bounce back with anything.
...retrospective
Please don't tell Edison these obvious facts. He knows, he'd probably tell you to shut the fuck up, and he'd probably pull a John Woo handgun attack on you.
- Never take your computer to get serviced by an outside vendor. Geek Squad won't respect the privacy of their customers, so I guarantee you a computer nerd in a HK shop won't either.
- You're rich with millions of dollars. Buy a new laptop and digital camera if they ever break down.
- Memories are never lost when you can relive them with so many more hot people who'd be willing to suck or get fucked by a millionaire. You can take photos again and you know the second time around always makes for a better shot.
- By 2009, the only acceptable excuse for salvaging a machine is due to an actual real life hacker trashing your Wi-Fi enabled computer. Only Ghost-in-the-Shell style back-hacking, ok?
Dear Edison Chan,
If your lawyers haven't decide to sue me for hubris, you might still want to consider me your new career coach, because tomorrow's the day I reveal how to map out your career for the next 365 days.
| | | Posted 2/10/2008 11:57 PM - 0 comments
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