i feel pretty stupid.
"hes more of a girl gets tired of having a girlfriend guy"
..wonderful. splendid. fantastic.

that makes me emo. plus what caleb told me.

man senior year sucks. and i wish i was kidding too. take me back to junior year.... i miss ireland/england and life then. i dont really want to graduate yet.

goodnight.

and what the hell.. xanga changed???

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. and now this is the romantic that i have been looking for.
!!!! so. so. this is me smiling inside... and out. !!!!! i am totally totally excited about tomorrow.. well minus the calc quiz and english timed writing.. but whatever.

and you know.. you can come back. i wont kill you but other people will.. maybe. hah. but if you were really that "sorry" you would say it to my face instead of having someone else tell me. because honestly.. its not the same jerk.

well have a loooooovely night my loves.

p.s. schedule is getting fixed. no chem.. but apparently the new teacher sucks.. so im not missing out. lol. but then i am.. because no more science reviews. boooo. but.. yeah.

CALC IS TAKING OVER MY LIFE.
you think im joking too. but really.... its taking over my life.

EMO.

my schedule fucking sucks.. and i cant do a thing about it. no chem.. so that means no more ap science reviews. </3. those were the best. but oh well.. life goes on.
so my "slacker" senior schedule that i DONT want?
1-senior out that will be changed to tempo.. because fucking chem wouldnt fit. ALSKDJKLJADSKLASDLKJLJASD!!!!!!!!!!!!.
2-band. woo. at least its not 5th. YES.
3-lab managment.. for mrs harding i hope. and plus i wont be totally out of the science world.
4-co-op.
5-calc ab.
6-english. without amber.. but with everyone else. :[
7-co-op out.
yeah. now i can totally get why my counselor called me dumb with a "easy" schedule. well. fuck you. chem didnt fit and ive already tried everything to try to get the period moved. nothing worked and this is the shit that im stuck with. so please dont call me a slacker... because you dont even know the fucking story. ugh. i want mrs parker back thanks. because so far.. you havent been that great of a counselor.

p.s. i dont like being called basically stupid.. and not able to handle bc. yes i KNOW i cant handle bc.. but thats how badly i want to take chem. but totally thanks for telling me and everyone in the room who are my friends that i cant. let me tell you.. that was degrading.
and i think this is the first time that ive actually seriously wanted to fucking hide under a rock... and just disapear. and this is exactly why im scared to ask questions/talk to teachers... because i always come out feeling stupid.

just bad day.

but you know what wouldve made it better?
if you came to band today. and you were right.. we wouldve fucking killed you. and oh by the way.. i know how to punch.. and believe me.. i wont even feel bad for giving you a bruise. but too bad you were scared and too much of a girl to come. and please dont ever come back. no one wants you back anyways. just a warning because we will kill you. and dont underestimate us. still dont believe me? just come. and you'll see.  oh p.s. dont even think about talking to me. i dont want to talk to you and i dont think i ever want to talk to you. actually.. i know i dont ever want to talk to you. why? because youre just a waste of time and a fucking pig. oh? so now you want to be friends? you shouldve fucking tried that a month ago and oh yeah.. i dont want to be your friend. so have fun with life.. and dont come back in mine. thanks. oh yeah. I WOULD LIKE MY HAT BACK.

oh yeah. jeremy is gone by the way. oops so sorry. and those penguins too.. but those were never meant for me anyways.. right? yeah i know. fucking ass.

BUT.
maybe tomorrow will be better.

so this will turn out like before.
and im not excited. maybe the third time really is the charm.

....and no not you.
YOU.

<333333.

i believe in happily ever afters... and i will find mine.. someday.