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elenager
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Name: Elena
Country: Germany
Metro: Duisburg
Birthday: 4/28/1990
Gender: Female
Interests: LOSING WEIGHT, FASTING, HAVING CONTROL, EXERCISING
Expertise: lying to people who force me to eat...i know that lying is definitely not a good thing to do, but what else can a girl in so difficult a situation honsetly do??
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
MSN: elena_schmenk@hotmail.com
Member Since:
5/21/2005
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| hey everyone
okay today sucked again. i don't know what the matter is really.i am
lacking motivation, i am telling you. school ends on wednesday and it
is off to spain on thursday for two fuckin weeks with my friends. they
always say how i should eat more and stuff, but i always manage to lose
weight when i am around them because i feel like i don't want to give
them the satisfaction of having control over me. does anyone understand
that?? when i binge and it is my own "decision" it is alright because i
can punish myself afterwards, but this way it is somehow different. i
guess i have gained weight after today although i have to say i was
wrong when i told everyone i had gained from drinking so much alcohol,
because it probably only was the tons of wtaer i had drank afterwards.
oh and please please please..IS ANYONE WILLING TO FAST WITH ME TIL
THURSDAY MORNING?? i mean from monday morning until thursday
morning. as i said earlier, i am really lacking motivation right now
and i would really appreciate having someone to fast with. just leave
me a comment and i will try to comment back as soon as possible. maybe i can get someone
to do that with me.
i can't upload pictures at the moment because my computer is being a
bitch and we are having this school excursion or whatever tomnorrow
because our school turns 100 years and the school has rent a whole
train for the school, which means we will be gone till 7 pm tomorrow,
which is good because i can avoid eating.wow there ARE some positive
things in my life at the meomnt. please comment anyone who is willing
to fast with me and i promise i will make it till thursday. much much
ana love, Elena
http://photobucket.com/albums/y272/elenage/
if anyone's interested. here is a picture of me, a bo i know and some
photos of my school. wow, i am brave putting them up. the pictures of
me were taken in london, so don't get confused. and you can't really
see my fat in this pictures because i am all covered..i look like a
fatass anyway.
damn damn damn i am just having a panic attack..i wnat to get rid of
the food i ate today now..now...shit...i am shivering and all...too
late to purge, don't have laxatives..shit..fuck...
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| hey you all
this morning was terrible, but i haven't eaten anything for 13 hours
now and i am about to go to sleep. i am really tired so ishould be able
to sleep for another eight or nine hours which would make my fast 21-22
hours long and i am planning on fasting tomorrow as well, since i am at
it now..so wish me luck and much ana love, Elena
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| ohmygod..i have gained..must hav ebeen the alcohole..shit..i drank so
damn much..and i got pissed and spileld everything to my friends and
then i did not go to school today either..shit..what have i done.
everyone knows now, i hope i will be able to make them see i just said
that because i was drunk. oh my god, and i gained, i fuckin gained
because of that shit. fasting tomorrow, there is no way out of it nwo.
much love nad stay stronger thn me, girls, much ana
love, Elena
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| well..... that is probably all i can say..just returndd from swimming
and i swam my 3 and 1/2 km but on the other hand, i did eat a lot
again. i can only hope the scale stays where it was this morning. of
course it was too much but i don't know as long as i maintain my weight
i won't completely go nuts, if you know what i mean. i have bought
..ähh....zwieback??? don't know the english word for that, but it's
this hard bread with only 40 cals each slice and i can allow myself
four of them tomorrow and then two or three apples or something else, i
don't know, maybe a peach or two. and swimming again tomorrow. that is
it for today, hope you are all doing way better than me, and stay
strong, girls, you know you can do it.
much ana
love, Elena
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| I WILL DIE FAT AND END UP COMMITTING SUICIDE! ! !
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