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eleuthera
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Name: Jennie
Country: United States
State: Arizona
Metro: Phoenix
Birthday: 4/23/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: -All my lovely friends
-Things that explode
-When my bank account grows
-Ditching Monday classes
-Primping Obsessively
-Hating Standardized Testing
-Hating things in general
-Being Goth
-Sarcasm
-Innuendo
-Goth Rock
-Industrial Rock
-Having free time
-Graphic Design
-Web Design
-Web Surfing
-Economics
-Debate
-Surviving my Freshman Year
-Parties
-Short guys
-Blonde guys
-Current Events
-Political Science
-Japanese
Expertise: Finding the most innappropriate thing to say at any given moment, loudly sharing it with the world, and watching the mayhem I create with a bucket of popcorn.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Pimping
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  digitalnova0
Member Since:
3/18/2003
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| The reality of fateI looked someone very dear to me in the eyes today and saw the
machinations of a perverted psyche. I saw trends and seemingly
incongruous behaviors fall into place like pieces of a puzzle. For the
first time, I truly saw and understood the justifications of the damned.
And it scared the shit out of me.
I saw a flippancy that could lead to more criminal activities or worse.
I saw an ego convinced of it's entitlement to exercise itself in
selfishly dangerous activities. I saw a dark and diseased picture of
the world with just enough truth and reality to make it stick. I
realized that I was sitting next to a person who could legitimize
almost anything, and wondered if tomorrow I'd be sitting next to a
murderer, an arsonist, or rapist.
I also saw that I was stupid. How foolish of I to think that it might
ever change, that decades of picking at the same scabs wouldn't crust
over bad habits and replace them with scars.
The fear of death pales in comparison to the all encompassing knowledge
that there is nothing you can do to change someone's future from the
path it was forced down by choices taken long ago. There is nothing
more nauseating than witnessing and understanding the misery of the
damned hidden behind a facade of flippancy and arrogance.
It's inevitable: this person, whom I loved, cared for, and hoped for, would soon be a serious criminal.
If he wasn't already. | | |
| Finals are Shit-tastic!So finals are over... any last thoughts?
My favorite memory of
the semester is getting a B+ in French 101. Honestly, I'm proud of my
non-A, even though I'm obsessed with getting the A+ in as many classes
as possible. For the longest time, I was convinced that I sucked at
foreign languages, so I avoided taking them as long as I could. Until,
of course, I signed up for a BA through the College of Liberal Arts and
was forced to. Without too much pain, but a lot more studying than I
usually do, I managed to almost get an A in a foreign language class
that wasn't dumbed down.
Summary:
Accomplishing something you know you can do is nice.
Accomplishing something you thought you couldn't do is fucking awesome!
Honors
172 was just bleh. I hated getting up for that nasty 7:40 class, so I'm
glad that's over. I'm going to miss the friends I made and the teacher
though; Popova was an unrepentant liberal. Reading Durkheim, Marx, and
Fanon probably wasn't the best way to curb my Socialist tendencies...
Comparative
Politics was a joke. Everyone I knew in that class worshiped the ground
that the professor walked on. In his defense, he was a cool guy and a
good lecturer, but the class was so boring and easy I wanted to scream.
There was no drama, no critical thinking, no political polarization. I
must be some sort of masochist, because I'm dissing the easiest class I
took all semester. Yeah, I didn't go to class for about two months,
just like my last Political Science class, and managed to pull off an
A. I'm so incredibly glad I dropped that Political Science Major - too
easy.
Logic was awesome. I had the most hyper organized
professor on the planet, who lectured like she could organize 40-page
thesis papers in her head or something. The class was easy as pie, but
I loved it all the same. Plus, the coveted A+ was a nice touch. Oh,
over achievement, how I love thee. Logic was everything I liked about
math, and nothing I hated about math wrapped in the easily digestible
package of an easy A.
Philosophy 101 was interesting. This was
my first foray into the meat and potatoes of my new major, and I was
pleasantly surprised. Even though the class was taught by a TA and some
of the commentary from the peanut-gallery bordered on clinically
retarded, reading shit by old guys and talking about the philosophical
implications of putting your brain in a vat was fun. What wasn't fun
was that written final. I hope that I should not expect more 10-page
written short-answer exams in the course of my Philosophy degree, or
I'll have some major hand-cramps.
My overall thoughts on my first completed year of college?
Well,
college is weird. I never have the same people in my classes, and I
miss the closeness of my ultra-small high school. However, I love that
my TA's and Professors are mostly competent, so I don't expect a repeat
of High School Junior English.
I love my new degree, even as
semi-useless as it is. It has all the vigor and challenge, and none of
the "just push people through with passing grades" shit that I found in
the larger departments. Philosophy is hard, you have to pay
attention... not to mention the 45-credit hour requirement is insane
next to the 30-hour requirements of most of the other liberal arts
degrees. For the first time, I feel like I can see the end of the
tunnel when it comes to college, and I'm glad.
I'm still
planning on going to law school, but I'm not as set in that path as I
used to be. I think I'm just going to apply to prestigious law schools
and the most renowned Masters and PhD Philosophy Departments and see
what bites. If I can get into the best law schools, I'll go there. If
the best Philosophy Departments love my thesis, I'll do that. I expect
my parents won't be happy if I pursue a Graduate Degree in a field that
can only lead to teaching, but I really don't much care.
Next
semester will be the biggest test. The vast majority of my classes are
all Junior-level, and degree-required with small class sizes. They
should be the real test of my mettle when it comes to digesting and
reading lots of convoluted shit by dead guys. I think the only major
that reads more than me is an English major, but unlike those unlucky
people, the shit I read is never easy or exciting. Then again, I can't
write creatively for shit, so I shouldn't be dissing the English majors. | | |
| Starcraft 2?It might just be true!
Is anyone about to dance in public naked for sheer glee? I know I am.
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