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elfishpirat
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Name: Bethany
Birthday: 7/14/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: hmmm...God, horse racing/equitation, Art, Reading/writing, World Domination, tennis, movies, swimming, rock climbing, hiking, photography, cooking...just the ordinary stuff...
Expertise: Drawing, Sculpting, Drip Painting, animals, photography, creating silly gifts, cheering people up, sleeping...etc
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Art
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/1/2005
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| Miss me?It's been a long time. I was going through some of my old entries and I realized just how much I matured within the past few months. Right now I'm dealing with college, work and juggling a social life...and naturally...having a BLAST doing it!
What have you people been up to?
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| Ok...so here's the real dealI can't really pour out my thoughts onto myspace because Brian has one.
He picked me up early yesterday for our date..he pulled up, walked up to the door, brought me 3 red roses (fav. flower), met my parents, shook their hands and opened the door for me. We went to Rillos..but they were closed..so we went to my favorite place (Olive Garden). Afterwards, he was all like..do you want to go home, or do you want to do something else? So I was like..what do you want to do? So we ended up taking a walk around BS Lake. It was fun...and he was like...do you want to do something else? But I was like..it's getting dark, let's go home. As soon as we hit the road, it started pouring rain (chalk another one up for feminine intuition).
When we got to my door, he tried to kiss me..but I turned my face away. I'm not ready for that. And I decided that I'm going to date someone for a month or so before I do that. Kissing changes everything. You can't go back to being "just friends" after kissing. There's a part of you that belongs to the person.
I don't know what's wrong with me...He's a great guy. Sure his past isn't spotless..but who's is? he has a great personality, he's a vegetarian, he loves animals, he's a Christian..and yet I have reserved feelings? I'm having so much anxiety over this that I can barely eat. I only ate a little bit of my salad and soup at the restaraunt today before pushing it away (I usually eat the whole thing). I'm still waiting for that magical feel good thing that happens. It's just not there. And I feel horrible because I see the way he looks at me and I just don't feel it.
I hate being like this. I'm usually a tall pillar of confidence. Drama was supposed to end in High School
I think I'm going to skip the border and never be heard from again...I hear Mexico is nice this time of year...
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| NEED ADVICE!!!Ok...boy troubles...big whoop you say? yeah..I'm kinda stressing cuz I hate hurting people
Alright, so here's the deal. This kid, has fallen hard and quickly for me. Within a month we are holding hands, kissing on the cheek, yada yada yada. Sunday, he, my brother, Ang and me go to the drive ins...Matt and Ang leave early, so we're together. I don't like the way he looks at me. It's too intense. It's the kinda look that sends bad shivers down your spine. So...he's obviously head over heels for me...but I only like him as a friend. I am in no way romantically attracted to him.
Now, the problem? I like 2 other guys in the small group. One I don't see a chance with cuz he flirts with everyone. The second I hardly see enough to start something. But <- that one did something so freakin awesome tonight. He stradled a bench, locked his legs around it and did a sit up...not just any sit up...his head was almost touching the freakin ground. It was the hottest thing I've seen in a LONG time.
Now...I don't know about My guy. Like...I don't like him like THAT now..but who knows...something could start in the future perhaps? Should I just ask to be friends now and hurt him? Or lead him on and way down the road decide he's not for me, hurting him more..but taking the chance that something could happen?
Please let me know...I'm stressing | | |
| Forget the last entry...who could give up a xanga? lol
Anyway, I've been doing a lot of thinking and I would like to post an official appology to Ms.Wellington (although..if she actually reads my xanga..I'm scared..really scared)
Ms.Wellington, I am really sorry. I have thought and said some nasty things about you in the past, and now, I wish I hadn't. I've done a lot of maturing and I realized that they were unfair and cruel. In actuality, I should thank you for how much you helped me develop my passion, Art, over my high school career. I went from being halfway decent to being one of the best in my college classes. And while I am still smarting about you screwing me over last year, it helped me realize that the art world isn't fair and I should get used to it.
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| Faretheewell Xanga..it's been a wonderful year and a half..ish...But it's time that I move on
That's right...I'm DUMPING YOU!...mwahaha
Anyway...Myspace is WAY hotter....goodbye!
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