I know I don't post here as often as I would like. .. it always just seems to be that when I can't sleep because things are finally catching up to me that I find myself here writing to the bored people of the universe.  My life as of lately has been interesting. . There are a lot of good things that I should be really excited about and there are a lot of things that maybe I should feel sad about.  Yet I seem to not really give a flying fuck about any of them.  It's as if the emotions are inside me and I know they are there and yet I can't seem to find a way to express them.  Has anyone else ever felt this way?

I had my tonsils and adenoids removed almost a month ago.  A pain in which I would not wish on anyone anytime. . ever.  During my recovery I really couldn't eat, get out of the house, or sing.  For two weeks I was in my house with movies and ice water.  Mind you, the best diet ever. . but I don't really reccomend starvation to anyone either.  The killer for me was that I couldn't go out and sing.  I'm just now. . almost 4 weeks later. . getting back into performing.  And the thing that I used to love the most and I missed so much while I was recovering. . seems to feel empty. 

I was out last night singing and as I looked around the bar I noticed a table of typical guys at the bar.  Beer, cigarettes, and watching the game.  I was still trying to ease myself back into the swing of the karaoke thing so I picked a song that most people would consider to be lame or boring because it was country and slow.  As I was singing this table of guys turned their focus from the game to me.  Bobby ( the host) mentioned to me that they had not turned from the game all night. . for anyone.  These three gentlemen became my fan club for the night.  Cheering and hollering and getting so excited anytime I was at the mike.  When I wasn't up to sing they constantly looked at me as if to ask when I was up again. . downright almost begging.  And as much as i was flattered. .I almost felt obligated to sing. 

There are many parts of my life where I'm feeling as if I am doing things more for other peoples happiness than my own.  I feel like I've lost what makes me happy and convinced myself that if I make others happy than that makes me happy.  All the flirting, flashing, random make out sessions, and dirty dancing is what is known to be normal for a 23 year old woman.  But from my life experiences I almost feel like I should be better than that.  That I know better, that it's stupid, that it's good for a few laughs and some. . pretty good times. . but it's not me.  I'm not who I used to be. . I'm not the innocent 16 year old and I'm not the 21 partier. . Who am I?

Take my Quiz!!  Good Luck!  I can be tricky!!!

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=041223013429-959325

Currently Playing Deck the Halls: Festive Christmas Favorites By Various Artists see related

Tis the season to be jolly. . .sure.

Don't get me wrong. . I LOVE Christmas.  But working retail takes a lot out of me during this season.  I was trying to finish up my christmas shopping the other day when an old man in his jaguar really pissed me off.  I was leaving borders and trying to turn right on one of the busiest streets in Tacoma.  So the Man in his Jag behind me decided that I wasn't going fast enough for his liking so he PULLED AROUND ME AND FORCED HIS WAY INTO TRAFFIC!  I'm sorry but this season is stressfull enough as it is for people. . you don't have to take your aggressions out stupidly behind the wheel.  Patience. . .I have learned Patience this Christmas.

Patience. .. like when I'm doing five things in the office for the sales people I work for and one of the five comes back and says the guest decided not to have it wrapped. . so I start to unwrap it. .. .then the guest decideds they want it wrapped and put into a bigger box and wrapped.. . .only to go back to not wanting it wrapped at all.   I kid you not, this happened to me!  Breathe. . Breathing is good.  I have learned Breathing this Christmas.

Breathing. . .like the only thing I get to do on my lunch break. . .yeah.

God I love the holidays.  MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!  Being that I work Retail this is my last day to write in here before then.  If you live in the Seattle Washington Area. . I DO expect you to be at my performance on Christams Eve.  You know what I'm talking about and I KNOW who YOU are!  Muah HA HA!

Currently Playing Will & Grace: Let The Music Out! By Various Artists see related

Eric~ I found you somehow through many different people.  but I stumbled across your page and had a moment of "OH MI GOSH. . I KNOW THAT GUY!"  Kinda funny how technology works.

Life has been crazy busy as always and it's only going to get worse as the christmas season progresses.  I am working at a jewelry store so you can only imagine. ..

Danny and I have taken back our lost friendship.  We realized that while I was in KC and for while after I was back we just had some issues to work out. . .like the fact that I was dating a man who hated my best friend.. . a trait I don't intend to repeat.  But we have a new hobby. . and we're quite groupies at it. . .every sunday we go see our friend mikey perform in a drag king show!  It's FABULOUS!!  I'm really going to miss it when he goes to school in January. 

I've made a recent decision to go away to school. . .to ACTUALLY experience the dorm life of a college. . .a feat in which I think is important for any student. . .at least for a quarter or two.  But financially and emotionaly it is going to be a great move for me.  I will no longer be under the roof of my parents. . they are actually happy and supportive of this move, and it's going to save me 6 grand a year from my current school in which I live at home and eat my parents food. . .YAY!  ~Did I mention that it's the same school as Danny's going to!!??  So we won't have to be away from each other for too long. . yay!  we are so will and grace sometimes!

I'm also really proud lately of my sister and brother's accomplishments.  It's hard to believe that my brother has had a steady girlfriend for 6 months now, he's graduated high school and will be turning 20 this year. . my sister is graduating this year and actually has been the only one in my family to look forward to going to college after high school.  Little does she know. . .

Anywho. . I'm borrowing Dan's Laptop and he has to look at school stuff. . .boring!  Good to hear from Chris and Eric!  Miss you guys!  Give me a call sometime- if you need the number im me with my aim: elflady00 and I'll send it to you! 

Lata gata's!  ~Kristen