hey people,

          im boarding a train for k.c.  this wednesday,   i'll  be in town for a month, then off to arizona, unless something provokes me to stay in k.c. longer.   i hope to stay longer. k.c. is home!  plus i miss kelley, and phil, and the coffee shop, and the partys, and,  well, im homesick!

                                                                           love you all!!!!!

                                                                        c         u     soon.

)(

big ear man! away!

things you never see:

1. a puppet with a hard-on.

2. a butterfly with a swastka design.

3. the latin word for douche bag.

4. someone defecating in church.

5. rainbow colored smoke clouds after a bombing.

6. a junkie with leisure time.

7. a serial killer with a light up bowtie.

8. a mom and pop steel mill

9. a shot glass of carrot juice.

10. people jumping out of a 13th story window, waving with a smile on their faces as they go down.

11. a homeless person with matching luggage.

12. really interesting twins

13. condoms with the lords prayer printed on the inside.

15. two gay men who own a bait shop.

16. a pimp with a low profit margin.

17. a rolls royce thats got more than 50% primer paint

heres a list of self-help/ how to books i want to see on the shelf.

1. how to remove chewing gum from pubic hair.

2. how to remove a infected cyst from a loved one.

3. how to make two small hats out of a bra.

4. how to make a bra out of two small hats.

5. how to have really nice lymph glands

6.how to act laid back during a grease fire.

7.how to spot an asshole from across the street.

8. how to dance with a quadraplegic.

9. how to induce a clergyman to grab you by the nuts.

10. how to milk a dog while its sleeping.

11. how to blow a babboon without getting bit.

12. how to get thru college without books.

13. how to make a small salad out of your old running shoes.

14. how to lure a weasel into a cardboard box

15. how to filet a panda

16. how to get a tan with a blowtorch.

17. how to style your hair with a bullwhip.

18. how to convert an old leather chair into 18 pair of shoes.

19. how to achieve multiple orgasms with a pair of tweezers.

20. how to kill a rat with a paperclip.

21. how to lease out space in your nose.

22. how to spot truly vicious people in your church.

23. how to become a total fuckin' asshole in less than a week.

 asshole from across the street.