| It's done. I am a graduate now. It doesn't really feel any different, although it may hit me some time in the future. I didn't get to see half the people I wanted to see, I wanted to say my last goodbye. Its not like I was especially close to any of them, but still we had our moments. Sad. Overall graduation was ok. When I went to other ones it looked like I assumed I would feel very emotional when it came my time. Unfortunately I still felt the same as I did in the audience, except I actually knew some of the people in the pictures. When I say some I mean only some, maybe about 20% of the pictures contained someone I knew the name of. It was nice to see my teachers again, I feel actually very close to the teachers I had this year, they were excellent. Its just so odd. Up till now the people in my life have stayed constant. I haven't really had to say good bye to anyone and no one I know had died. Now its like a massacre. About 90% of the people I know are now out of my life basically forever. While no particular person stands out (all of the special people I will try my hardest to say in contact with and are in the 10%) as a group its a large loss. I have run out of acquaintances. Now, in college, I will have to start fresh and it will be tough. You know, while I don't feel sad I know some place inside me I'm crying. Well, crying for this and for other things... But anyways, it looks like xanga is really dead now. I only got one comment last entry and it was from Jake. I remember the days when I could get 20 different people to leave a comment. I guess xanga is dying out of my life like most things. I write this basically because I don't have a diary and I want to remember how I felt this night. Now all that's left is summer (and trying to stop one of the bigger tragedy's of my life) and then the adventure that is college comes into being. I don't think I shall write a new entry for xanga. If I have anything to say I may put it in another online medium, one that isn't on its deathbed. The only thing I may do is add to this when it finally hits me. Its 1:19 and I'm going to end the entry now. My final entry. I believe it is appropriate to end with a quote. Goodbye xanga, and goodbye to high school, my acquaintances, and my childhood. Goodbye.
" As you go through life there are stages. From a mere moment to a decade. A time when you are one person in one place, a role to play. Then it is retired, replaced by something fresh and new, not better or worse, but different. Yet there is an undercurrent that streams just under the surface, with each character the depth of the guise is varying, obscuring the light that is always there. It is You. Your soul. And it is the most beautiful of all."-Christian Smith
Peace Love and Happiness.
Christian Bartharlomew Smith |
