Currently Watching Equilibrium By Christian Bale, David Barrash, Sean Bean, Francesco Cabras, Maria Pia Calzone, Danny Lee Clark, Taye Diggs, William Fichtner, Florian Fitz, Matthew Harbour, Christian Kahrmann, John Keogh, Angus Macfadyen, Dirk Martens, Sean Pertwee, Dominic Purcell, Emily Siewert, Mike Smith, Emily Watson see related

I know that I haven't been blogging regularly lately. Why not? I honestly can't say. I have some excuses. I don't have time. Which is mostly true. With working full time and 2 night classes, and then having a life as well, it leave very little spare time to spend on the computer. I could type at work, but when I write I don't want to be disturbed. That is excuse number one. Number two. Lets see...it seems like the whole blogging fad has warn off and moved on. Facebook seems to be the new Xanga. Although for me blogging is really for me to get out what is going on in me. And all of you really just get to read what some of what is going on in my head. Number 3. My computer is broken. My laptop doesn't have internet. So if I type something on my lap top I have to save it to a floppy disc (I don't have cd burner) and then take it to work and save it on my work computer (my parent's home computers don't have floppy drives) and really all of that is just too much effort. (I'm on my mom's computer right now)

I could think up more excesses. But really I don't know why I haven't written regularly. I have sat down and tried a couple of times, but I have really know what to write. Its not like my life is boring. In fact it really great. I love the things that are happening. But it feels like there isn't a lot of new stuff. My day to day life is in a bit of a routing right now. And thats ok, I like routine, but its not always very interesting.

Everyday I take the bus with the same neighbors. One of them takes the train with me all the way to Surrey. I am still loving my job. Everyday has its ups and downs. Usually more ups then downs (although this week has been particularly challenging). I know that God has me in this place for a reason. The people - both my coworkers and my employees rock. Everyday I open the door to my work and I am glad to be there. There are days when I don't necessary want to be at work, but if I had to be working that's where I would want to be. My poor family has to listen to me everyday when I come home from work and unload on them. My classes are pretty good. My Negotiation Skills class I enjoy. Its a real learning curve for me, since it is not what I enjoy doing in anyway. In fact I actually hate negotiation. But I am learning a lot so its really good. My Operations Management class, I really hate. I don't enjoy it. I'm not doing well in it, and I would really like to drop it. But I'm am preserving and believing that I am going to succeed.

In all this there has been some really fun times. Hang out's with fun people. For example last night I hung out with Monica. We got to have dinner at Phil's house. He had a bunch of people over - Nhi and her sister, Sarah G, Lorali, Corey and his cousin, Dotan, Lelia, Carmel, Jeff G, Monica, Phil and Mark (they live there!) and maybe someone else or 2, but I can't remember. We had some fun times. And after that Moni and I drove all around the city - downtown, into North Van, down UBC - literally all over the city. It was very fun. We got lots of catching up done! So there have been lots of fun times like this scattered throughout the busy times.

Stuff with Afghanistan hasn't changed. I still don't know when I am going or any of that. I would really like to know. I feel like I am in limbo and would really like to just know what is happening. It feels like it is going to come up on me very quickly! I am super excited for it though!!

In 2 weeks it will be the 1 year of my Grandma dying. It feels like yesterday that she went. I can still remember everything about that day, and the days after. But at the same time it feels like she has been gone for so long. So much has happened this year that I wish that I could share with her. I wish that I could tell her about A-stan. She wouldn't want me to go, because she would  be worried about me. But when she understood why I wanted to go she would be so proud of me. And get all of her church people to support me. She'd be proud of the way I working and going to school. She would be so proud of Chris and Avital and their house. And the doula course Avital just finished. There are so many things that I want to tell her, and show her. After Jenna's wedding a few weeks ago, I was lying in bed one night and I was thinking about weddings. And I realized that when I get married, she won't be there. I'd thought of it before, but it really hit me that night. She won't be there. It's funny how I see people out with their Grandma's and how jealous I get. I want mine. I have my Granny, I love her to pieces, but I want my Grandma too. I thought that after a year, maybe the pain would go away. I don't think that it ever will. It changes yes, but I don't think that it will every really stop hurting. All I can say, is: I love and miss you everyday Grandma.

I think that too is why I haven't been writing. I feel like everytime I start to write I get emotional (I was crying writing this). I hate having every post either be super deep and this is how I am really doing - whether is is God stuff or emotion stuff or super shallow and her is another get to know Emily quiz. These days I'm having a hard time finding the balance between the 2. So it's easier to just not write anything. Maybe once school ends for the semester (April 15th in counting!) and life isn't quite so full, you will be hearing more from me. But for now, I will be around, just not super frequently. Bear with me, I will return one day!

I wish that I could put what I was Currently Watching, Currently reading, Currently Eating and Currently wearing....If I could I would say:

Currently Watching: Equilibrium - Good movie

Currently Reading: Time to Kill - John Grishoms first novel - very good so far.

Currently Eating - Sour Cream & Onion chips

Currently wearing - Lulu's, high school hoodie, fuzzy slippers and Bath & Body Pink Grapefruit body lotion (my new all time favorite!)

Currently Reading The Runaway Jury By John Grisham see related

Quotes by C.S. Lewis

I can't remember where I found all these quotes by C.S. Lewis, but I really quite like them and thought I would share!

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, "What! You too? I thought I was the only one!"

"God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing."

"We are what we believe we are"

"What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step."

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."

"You can't get a cup of tea big enough or a book long enough to suit me."

Currently Watching The Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King (Widescreen Edition) By Elijah Wood, Ian Mckellan see related

Lord of the Rings Revlations!

I just finished watching Lord of the Rings - Return of the King. I love all three, but I think that Return of the King is my favorite one. I love the spirit of courage. I love it when Gimli says "Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?" He is willing to fight for what is he believes in even when it seems so daunting and there seems to be no chance of winning. Yet he refused to give up. I love the speech that Aragorn gives before they attack Mordor.

" Hold your ground - hold your ground! Sons
             of Gondor - of Rohan . . . my brothers!
            I see in your eyes the same fear that would
             take the heart of me. The day may come when
             the courage of Men fails; when we forsake
             our friends and break all bonds of
             fellowship; but it is not this day - an
             hour of wolves and shattered shields, when
             the Age of Man comes crashing down - but it
             is not this day!!! This day we fight! By
             all that you hold dear on this good earth -
             I bid you stand!"

It always makes me want to go and kick some butt. I love Sam the best of all the characters. Frodo would never have succeeded without Sam. Not only did Sam save Frodo's life (a couple of times I think), but also his friendship was what made Frodo able to succeed. Sam seems like the most scared, and weak hobbit of the 4. The one who is always hungry and just wants to go back to the Shire, but in the end it is his strength, courage and love that gets Frodo to succeed. Sometimes I feel like that. I feel like I am the Sam. The one that is the most scared and weak. That just wants to go hide in the safety of the Shire. Not having to deal with the crap of the world. Not have to be "On", not have to be bold and courageous. I don't feel like I am as bold as everyone else or as great. But while I was watching I realized that I don't have to be. God has made me the way he wanted me. Yes,  I still have growing and changing to do, but not everyone can be the bold, crazy folks.  There needs to be some people that love, and support those other ones. That doesn't mean that I can escape from being bold, but I have been wired differently maybe.  There was a prophecy made over me several years ago that talked about how God makes a body with different parts. There can't be 2 thumbs on each hand. God created me the way he wanted me. I think that I am just starting to get that. The other night I came home and I was feeling discouraged. I felt like I didn't fit and I sat and cried. But I do fit. I know that. I am not wired the same as everyone. I feel pressure sometimes to be something that I am not. I need to understand that I who God wants me to be. Right now I am perfect.t And watching Lord of the Rings made me realize 2 things.

1. I want to be strong and courageous and mighty.

2. I have been designed perfectly.

And the best part is, I know that I am designed perfectly and I know that I am strong, courageous and mighty right now.

I know this whole post is a little random, its me working out this stuff, but I just wanted to share my revelations from Lord of the Ring!!

Spirit of Faith - Paul Barker

Tonight I heard Paul Barker preach. I love him. He is such an awesome faith preacher! He is one of my heros.

The spirit of faith is an attitude that analyzes every fact according to God's word.

You get the spirit of faith by:

1. Desperation - You have to really want it

2. Decision - Decide that you want it

3. Declaration - Declare that you want it

The spirit of faith says:

1. I love the fight - it is in the battle, in the FIGHT that God makes me strong. Don't get tired of the fight!

2. I MUST have victory! - Have an unwillingness to even consider defeat. When it seems like you are going to lose, push even harder!

(Loose) Quote from Rocky - (This is what we want the demons to say about us) "I saw you beat [Emily] like you never beat no man, and he kept on coming. Let him go. We don't want him"

I want to have that tenacity that when it looks like I have been totally defeated, I get back up and keep fighting.

3. I can NOT be defeated! - Keep playing till you win. No matter how many times you get knocked down, get back up and keep fighting.

Spoken about Mt. Everest. True in spiritual battles "You beat me once. You beat me twice. You beat me three times. But you can not defeat me. Because you can not get any bigger. I can."

With God on our side, we can only get bigger. You are a thousand times bigger on the inside then you look on the outside.

After the preach tonight, Paul had people who wanted prayer for faith to come up. I battled with myself. Its not really faith that I needed, but I didn't really know what I needed and if I should go up. I sort of felt that there are probably others that really need prayer, and I just sort of want it. And I hate going up. But then I felt that God was saying that by me not going up I was robbing myself of something really important. So I swallowed my pride and went up. And I am glad I did. Not only did I get prayed for by Paul (who is one of my heros!) but it was absolutely amazing, and just what I needed. He started to pray for faith for me, prayed for me to not walk in a spirit of timidity, quoted 2 Timothy 1:7 (like my life verse) "God did not give you a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and self discipline. And then he stopped, looked at me, and said "What do you really want to be?" I opened my mouth to say "I don't know" and out came "I want to be mighty and powerful". That is what I want - my heart spoke what my mouth couldn't. He asked me what holds me back from being that, and I knew that it was fear. And then we prayed together. And it was so powerful. It was so crazy, because he so obviously hears God, and is praying things that he can't know about me, but that I exactly needed to pray! I am so glad that I listened and didn't get robbed from this!

God is so great. I'm excited to go back into the battle. I want to say "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." I WILL NOT BE DEFETED! I WILL BE MIGHTY AND POWERFUL!

Currently Reading Master Cornhill By Eloise jarvis McGraw see related

Today I am bored at work. So I did a quiz....

1.Full name: Emily Egilson
2. Nicknames: Oh my where to begin…some new ones….That Girl Em, Miss Em, Chi Chi, Ferg, Lady Em, Bug, Emster, Muffin….
4. Height: 5'8"maybe…I don’t know
5. Hair: Brown
6. Siblings? A wonderful big sister Avital
7. Do you like to sing in the shower? Not usually
8. Do you like to sing? Yes – but others don’t like hearing me
9. Birthday: July 29, 1986
10. Sign: Leo
11. Lefty or righty? Lefty. That’s why I am so brilliant. Albert Einstein was a lefty (just for the record!)
12. shoes or sandals? Winter or summer? Shoes in the winter, sandals in the summer. Flip flops are my fav.
13. Coke or Pepsi? Coke once in a very blue moon
14. What do you want in a relationship? God.
15. Have you ever cheated? Not on a person. In school yes. I cheated in math.
16. Marital status: single

"FAVOURITE" QUESTIONS:
17. Song (right now)? I'm not sure, I think right this moment it is “To Live is Christ”. But it changes all the time
19. Movie(s): Pirates of the Carribean, Remember the Titans, Lord of the Rings, Princess Bride.

20. Number(s): 4
21. Card game? Dutch Blitz and my new favorite Love thy neighbor
22. radio station? 95.3 and 93.7
23. Sports: Eating. Talking. Walking.
25. Food: Meat. Pork. Beef. Sushi.
26. TV show: House and CSI
27. Cartoon: The good old Saturday morning originals – Bugs Bunny, Tom & Jerry, Road Runner….

28. Character: Don’t know
29. Color: depends on my mood. Blue, teal, purple
30. Do you plan on having kids? Yes –  4 maybe 6, haven’t decided!
32. What's something you can't wait to say? I don’t know. Goodbye office – thank goodness it’s Friday!
33. Get married? Well, I want to have kids…so getting married would be a good idea.
34. Would you have kids before marriage? Nope
35. You have a b/f or g/f? nope.
36. Do you have a crush: nope
37. What hurts the most? "is being so close, and having so much to say...and watching you walk away." (I stole this, from the girl who I got this from, but I really like it! It’s a good way to answer the question!)
38. Music/TV: music all the time. TV sometimes
40. Green/Blue: Depends on my mood
41. Pink/Purple: purple
42. Summer/Winter: summer
43. Night/Day: sunset. And sunrise.
44. Hanging Out/Chillin: I like hanging out and chilling.
45.Dopey/Funny: when I am dopey, I am funny
46. You know I'm around when you hear: People laughing at my incredibly witty jokes.
47. What school do you go to? Langara College
48. Do you enjoy what you do? I love my job. Schools not too bad.
49. What's a major turn on for you? A passion for Christ

Who Are They?
51. Most blonde: Jen R
52. Nicest: Me obviously!
53. Funniest: Ummm that’s a hard one… depends. I know a lot of very funny people
54. Tallest: Paul I think
55. What's the worst thing a friend could do to you? Shoot me. I’d be really angry if any of my friends did that to me.
56: How serious are you?: I am seriously funny

OTHER RANDOM QUESTIONS:
59. What was the last thing you cried over or got teary about? Reading Tara’s Maid of honor speech…and then I started thinking about my sisters wedding – its her 2 year anniversary on Monday. I a bit teary.
60. What's something about guys/girls you don't get: About girls I don’t get why they wear pants that are low and tops that are short and show their “muffin top” and guys that wear pants that need to be stapled to their hips because they are falling off!
61. What do you want right now? To not be sick. And to go home and have a nap.
62. What's one thing you can't live without? God. Relationships. And food!
63. Love or Lust: love
64. Silver or Gold: Depends. Like both.
65. Diamond or Pearl: Pearls. My grandma’s pearls are my favorite. Although one day I sure won't complain about a diamond@
66.Sunset or sunrise: sunset.
67. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping? nope
68. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Yes.
69. Do you have any piercings? ears
70. What color underpants are you wearing right now: ummm, why do you want to know?
71. What song are you listening to right now? I don’t know. My boss has the 99.3 the Fox on…So some angry music!
72. What are the last 4 digits of your home phone: 3045
73. Where would you want to go on your honeymoon? A world tour
74. Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with? husband/family/friends
75. What are some of the first things you notice about the opposite sex? Well, first I notice that they are male. Then I notice my dad coming towards them with a shotgun because they were talking to me….and the rest they say is history!!!
77. What's the next CD(s) you'll get? My new autographed Andy Davis should be coming in the mail any day now!!!!
78. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Glasses sometimes.
79. What was the best advice ever given to you? Love the Lord you God, with all your heart, soul, and mind.
80. Do you like Funny or Scary movies better? Funny – scary movies scare me so I don’t like them. But I do like suspenseful movies.
82. On the phone or in person? person
83. Hugs or kisses? both
85. If you died tomorrow who would you leave everything you own to? Family I guess.
86. Do you have any enemies? Not that I know of.
87. Who was the last person to hug you? Laura B last night.
88. Would you rather be rich or famous? Neither really
89. What time is it in Albania now? Dang it. I forgot to put my Albanian watch on this morning before I left the house, so I’m really not sure. I’ll have to get back to you on that one!
91. Have you ever met Santa? Duh. Santa lives with me!
92. Name something or someone pretty: The mountains in Vancouver with the sunsetting….oh.my.gosh. SO beautiful!
93. When did you last talk to the person that you like? Well, does like me like or LIKE? Because I like my co-workers – they are pretty cool…and I just talked to them.
94. Do you have any pets? Do sisters count?
95. Who was the last person you danced with? My co-worked Jan and I were doing some dances this morning. We were mocking my bosses music!! Mwhahaha!
96. Last time you were stressed: Wednesday before my mid-term.
98. Who sent this to you: I stole it from Beth’s facebook
99. What do you think of this person? I haven’t talked to her in a few years, but I think she’s really cool!
100. Do you want people to send this back? No. but you could do it if you want.