"My, oh my, look how the time flies. Look how the world changes in the blink of an eye." - The Wrec
One month ago I arrived on the east coast bewildered and in shock and denial that I was going to spend the next 4 years of my life living mostly on the other side of the country. One month later, it's still weird that I'm out here, but after going through a rough patch, settling in, and relying fully on Jesus...I'm starting to find community and good friends. God is SO good in all the ways He has taken care of me with all of His little provisions out here through friends of friends, randomly meeting people, and just His orchestration and way of setting things up. He's really taken care of me over here, and not surprisingly, in ways better than I could ever have imagined. The workload is still a little rough, obviously a lot harder and more time-consuming than high school (let's be real, did I really work THAT hard in high school? I could've worked a LOT harder), but between last week and this week I can already see improvement in my time management and my ability to get on top of my work so hopefully as time goes on it will become even MORE manageable. Juggling playing and working has surprisingly not been as much of a struggle since I know all the other engineers are also always working, but I'm sure that as the semester goes on there will be more fun, appealing activities and obligations that will take time away from work - that's where having my work being more manageable will come in handy. The weather, honestly, is not as much fun though. However, I am spoiled and come from the place that pretty much has perfect weather 365 days a year. I guess it's nice to be able to call that place home though, huh? It's rained almost every weekend except move-in weekend and last weekend, which makes hanging out and socializing not as much fun, but makes you feel not as bad for doing homework on a Saturday. I went into this knowing that being a Christian at Brown was not necessarily going to be an easy thing with Brown being such a liberal school and all, but God has been awesome. I've managed to find a fellowship I really like and meet a bunch of cool people that I can find community with. It's not huge like most of the the college fellowships in California (RUF is already one of the bigger ones), which again shows how small the Christian community at Brown is, but in a way that's almost nicer because it enables you to get to know more people better instead of getting lost in the crowd. God's been awesome in helping me find a church that's very similar to CBC. Like a 300-person version. It's a little far, which makes it more of a hassle to go, but I've been enjoying it so far. Although I do want to visit another church called Renaissance sometime. It's supposed to be more contemporary and modern with a lot of college students, so it seems very Flood-like. Seriously though, this processes ended up being a lot easier than I had anticipated. I miss you all at home, but I'm doing okay, I promise! I'm glad I've been able to keep up with most of you at home and still hang out with people here. Don't let me fall off the face of the earth! I'm a little sick this week, but then agan I was sick the first week I was here too, go figure.
Waited all my life for this day to come
I feel like letting go, life goes on
Wasting no more time
So much to be done
Everything works out
So they say
Over my shoulder, it's tough getting older
Yeah, yeah.......
(Chorus)
Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older
Here before my eyes, many roads ahead
Time for me to choose one way now
If I take a chance
What lies down the road
Feeling so confused, turned round
On and on, on and on
yeah yeah.....
Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older
Waited all my life for this day to come
I feel like letting go, life goes on
Over my shoulder (on and on)
It's tough getting older (on and on, on)
Yeah, yeah.....
Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older
Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I think this song kind of embodies what I'm feeling right now. "It's tough getting older." As people are starting to leave and as my time to leave is approaching it just re-affirms that I'm entering a new stage in my life. A stage where not all of my friends are going to be nearby in the same city, where we will all be scattered throughout different parts of the U.S. (although maybe more concentrated in California), where we won't see each other as regularly anymore, and where we might not talk as regularly anymore because we'll have different, separate lives in our immediate surroundings and new/different friends that we'll meet in our new places. At the same time though, even with all of us spread apart, I feel like I will still be connected with these people because we are bonded in Christ, which is something so much deeper.
I think the first time my friends left for college, I was ridiculously sad. I cried because I thought they'd be leaving forever and we wouldn't be friends anymore and I didn't know how to deal with people leaving. However, as more and more of my friends have left for college and come back home during breaks it really has solidified my faith in our friendships, that we can not talk during the school year or while they're away but when they come home it's like they never left. We are still friends, and we still know each other. It's a comforting feeling, but that doesn't make not seeing them regularly a fun thing. I think the end of the summer is always a sad time, but it totally makes me appreciate holidays even more and seeing everyone together again is that much sweeter.
I'm leaving in two weeks, and that is mind-boggling to me. I can't wrap my head around it. I can't even believe that the leaving officially starts tomorrow, but I guess I couldn't believe that I was graduating...and I did. This is going to be a transition time, and there will be tough moments, but I think that it's comforting knowing that 1) there are people that have gone before me and they have been juts fine 2) I'm not technically going alone, because I will always have Jesus and 3) technology makes it SO much easier to keep in touch with people these days (facebook, skype, aim, holla!).
There are definitely things I will miss though. I will miss Carne Asada, Pollo Asada, and California burritos (or quality authentic Mexican food in general), I will miss Convoy and boba and asian snacks, and I will miss the sunshine. Oh, the glorious SoCal weather. I'll miss Anchor and CBC and all my friends and family. But here's to making the most of what's ahead and finding my niche over there too. I think I'm in denial like it's not coming, but oh is it coming whether I'm ready or not.
"It's tough getting older." It seems that life just gets more complicated with time. Good thing I'm not the one that had to make the grand master plan for my life. Hm, here's to meeting and overcoming all the new challenges that come with life and getting older.
It's rained almost every weekend except move-in weekend and last weekend, which makes hanging out and socializing not as much fun, but makes you feel not as bad for doing homework on a Saturday.
I'm a little sick this week, but then agan I was sick the first week I was here too, go figure.