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Thursday, August 28, 2008

Getting Lost in Worship
In the last two months I've been enjoying corporate worship so much. I finally feel like I can just get lost in worshiping God again. It's almost like something broke, and God has opened up more of my ability to comprehend the Japanese worship songs...and even to remember some of them.
Worshiping in Japanese has been a blessing since the beginning, but being that I could only read parts of each song and understand even less...it often felt rather mechanical. Of course as I stumbled through the Japanese, I could always worship in my heart and spirit, but after some time, I craved corporate worship that I could understand. I craved the ability to worship through the actual words and poetic images of songs again. In fact, around my sixth or seventh month in Japan I almost couldn't stand to hear another Japanese song.
Depending on the day, I now understand about 50-65% of the songs. One by one, God is unlocking new songs to me, and it is so sweet to just be able to close my eyes, forget everything and everyone around me, and sing to Him.

目をあけて、主の栄光を見よ　(Open your eyes, see the glory of the Lord)
高らかに、ほめ歌歌おう           (Sing, lift up on high a song of praise)
　　　あなたを愛します                   (I love You)
　　　ハレルヤ、たたえます            (Hallelujah, I praise You)
__________
Once again I look upon the cross where You died
I'm humbled by Your mercy, and I'm broken inside
Once again I thank You
Once again I pour out my life.
__________
O, How You've Won My Heart (Joey Wandler of King's Fools)
Blood shed, flesh torn
Rejection, all alone
You paid the debt that I owe
Sinless, You bore my shame
You took my cross and endured the pain
Forever my heart will bow before my King
     So amazing, so beautiful    O, how You've won my heart again
     So amazing, so beautiful    O, how You've won my heart again
Thank you for everything You went through all for me
How could I ever repay such love?
     So amazing, so beautiful    O, how You've won my heart again
     So amazing, so beautiful    O, how You've won my heart again
Glorious, wonderful
Majesty, I stand in awe
Of all I see, of all You've done
There is none like You
There is none like You

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

As I approach one year in Japan, I've been reflecting...
I've been remembering, searching my heart, and evaluating. God's been stirring things in my heart, and I'm longing for more.
Above all, the theme of this past year is that God is my Constant One. Before I left for Japan, Anne Chi said to me that "everything is changing, but God stays the same." Those words rang so loud and clear to me as I was facing the exciting uncertainty of beginning my life in Japan...unsure of the people I would meet, what my life would be like, and how I would communicate.
As I arrived in Okinawa, the truth of God as my Constant One was all I could cling to at times. During my first few months, I often felt like an infant, unable to do anything for myself. Everything, both big and small was completely different and new to me. Beyond the obvious challenges of language and culture and my new role as a missionary, there were a million little things everyday that seemed to glaringly remind me that I was out of my comfort zone. I couldn't figure out the microwave ovens; to turn the kitchen faucet water on I had to push the lever down instead of up; there were no street signs...not that I could read them if there were; I couldn't pump my own gas because I couldn't understand the touch screen instructions; every little errand like buying groceries, getting money at the bank or paying a bill...things that were done so simply and without thought at home became huge feats, and when I was able to accomplish just one, I honestly felt like I had won an Olympic medal. In the heightened stress of international life, my God was my Constant One, my refuge, my safety, comfort, and peace...so familiar, and yet still so amazingly mysterious.
One of the most difficult things for me to trust God with during all my preparation for Japan was that my grandparents were aging, and I didn't want to miss any time with them or be away whenever they may pass. I can't count how many times I wept over the thought of losing a single one of them while I'm gone. It just seemed unbearable to me. But it was clear that after 13 years of waiting, my time to come to Japan had arrived. Now, God has brought both of my Grandpas Home. He has also brought my cousin's 5 year old son, Christopher Home so suddenly. I was able to return for my first Grandpa's funeral, but not the other two. What I thought would be so unbearable, God...my Constant One, somehow made not only bearable, but He turned those times into some of the sweetest moments with Him. As I was losing people that were like a solid foundation in our family that shaped so much of who I am... my God, my Constant One, my Rock was pouring forth streams of joy and peace in the midst of my grief. He showed me countless ways that He cares for me...I couldn't even list them all here if I tried.  But I will share one that is strong in my mind right now. When I received the shocking call in June, that Christopher had died I was just about to start Sunday service at the church plant. Throughout the service, Pastor Higa stopped about three times to have everyone pray for me and for my family, and then he gave me this word, that was so directly from God to me.
"I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:9-10
My God, my Jesus, my Constant One- Your love, acceptance, strength, peace, faithful presence, and hope never fail me. The only time they get a little fuzzy is when I loosen my hold in Your embrace. Again, I turn to You and ask that You would draw me deeper and deeper until I see You face to face.
Deeper   (2004 Marty Sampson/Hillsong)
Light to men... Love of God... Healing for the wounded heart... Like a child I quiet my soul... hear Your voice surround me Lord...
Jesus... Hold me into Your heart... Into Your heart... Lord my soul delights... And I know You hear my prayer Take me deeper Lord...
Glorious Son to You I shall bow... Bow my knee... Bow my will... Cherished by the strong and the weak... Humble hearts shall hear You speak...
Jesus... Hold me into Your heart... Into Your heart... Lord my soul delights... And I know You hear my prayer Take me deeper Lord...
And by Your love Lord you opened my heart... Now Your light will shine always... By Your Word Lord Your promise secure... And my soul will live always...
Jesus... Hold me into Your heart... Into Your heart... Lord my soul delights... And I know You hear my prayer Take me deeper Lord...

Til I See You   (2004 Jadwin Gillies/Marty Sampson/Hillsong)
The greatest love that anyone could ever know... That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul... And till I see you face to face and grace amazing takes me home... I'll trust in You...
With all I am I'll live to see Your Kingdom Come... And in my heart I pray You'd let Your will be done... And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me Home... I'll trust in You...
          I will live to love You... I will live to bring You praise... I will live a child in awe of You...
You are the voice that called the universe to be... You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me... And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me Home... I'll trust in You...
You alone are God of all... You alone are worthy Lord And with all I am my soul will bless Your Name...

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Update and Prayer Requests
Today I gave my first message in Japanese! I am currently speaking every six weeks at both the morning parent church service and afternoon daughter church service. Usually I speak with a translator, but recently my translator at the daughter church got a new job, and he only gets two Sundays off per month. I knew he had to work today, so I asked a couple translators from the parent church if either of them could come and help me out. Either of them were available, so I figured I was set. Well, 15 minutes before the afternoon service started, I received a phone call that neither of them could come. My stress level immediately shot up, but thankfully so did God's abundant peace! It was messy and funny at times. It was a bit more conversational than usual as we worked together as a congregation of 8 people to find the right words. But amazingly they said they understood the message. It's been about 7-8 hours since then, and my adrenaline is still pumping from the challenge. A couple weeks ago while the team was here, I suddenly was called on to translate a testimony and my first message. That was good preparation for today. I guess God really wants to stretch me and keep me out of my comfort zone in language right now. It's exciting, and I'm really thankful...but Lord, it would sure be nice to have a little more warning next time. :)
Now I'm packing for the Kids' Church Camp from Monday to Thursday, 8/11-8/14. 95 of us will be taking a ferry to Tokashiki Island, which I hear has breathtaking beaches and starry skies. We'll have children there, both Christian and non-Christian, from a variety of churches and schools in the area. I'll be leading one of the small groups for students who don't speak Japanese. Please pray for many seeds to be planted, many souls to be harvested, an outpouring of God's love on the children and staff, and also for protection from typhoons and in our travels. If you could also pray for renewed energy for me, I would appreciate it. :) Along with many Okinawans right now, I'm experiencing "natsubatte" a slight loss of appetite and general sluggish feeling due to the heat and humidity.
One last prayer request is regarding the Obon holiday 8/13-8/15. This is a time when families come together to welcome and worship the spirits of their ancestors. In Okinawa, many people gather at their family tomb and share a special meal picnic style. My pastor was explaining that this is always a very spiritually difficult time and asked our church to intercede and pray for protection. Would you please join me in that prayer?

Friday, August 08, 2008

Hinako, Elizabeth, and Minako
Update on Hinako
Hinako is doing very well after her two brain surgeries! She's been home for a couple weeks now, and the focus from here turns to rehabilitation. She does not yet have full range of motion in her right hand, but it's improved dramatically. Please pray for this and for full rehabilitation of her speaking, reading, and writing abilities. As the doctors expected, her clinginess and need for affection is at the level of a two year old right now, so we are all just surrounding her with love as she continues to heal. Thank you for your prayers!

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

So I was on the phone with my parents on Monday, and they put my kitty on the phone. He's usually pretty quiet, but he meowed for me this time.

Peaceful contemplation (I wonder if he can still fit on the window sill.)

Playtime

Complete relaxation...zzzzzzz
And it all started with Juliet, who begged and begged for a pet for years, until one Christmas...

Thank you Juliet! xo xo xo