elizabethpaladin's Xanga

Find me.

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 02:53:42 GMT

I've made the step into the blogspot world.

Find me at:

http://elizabethcpaladin.blogspot.com/

See you there.

These Past Two Months...

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 03:15:25 GMT

It's been two months since I last blogged.

These months have been full of sweet blessings in Jesus, fruitful and honest conversation with wonderful friends, late nights of difficult study, sweet times of worship with the saints, long phone calls with my parents, and tough decisions.

The common factor is grace. Sweet, abundant grace that I do not deserve and didn't even know to ask for before God gave it. Grace that is freely given, that will never run dry. Grace in peace and grace in confusion, grace in frustration and grace in sweet moments of joy. Grace on groggy, "why-am-I-up-so-early" mornings and grace on the mornings the sunrise gently lulls me from restful slumber. Grace to see my sin and grace to survey the wondrous cross. Grace to know the One who knows far better than I.

I've been thanking God recently for my church. When I started college, I was confident that Sovereign Grace would provide me with sound, biblical teaching, fruitful fellowship and meaningful worship, but I wouldn't have known to pray for a church as wonderful as SGC truly is. I've found cross-centered, biblical teaching that challenges me week after week, a population of saved sinners who love their Savior, and a college ministry which is full of students who encourage me to live a life of worship. My pastor says it often, and I simply have to agree...it's the "best church in the world." :)

So that's it. Only because of my great Father's abundant grace, I'm waiting, I'm serving, I'm working, I'm living. I'm learning, I'm growing. I'm finding joy in the mundane, grace in the daily activities and purpose in the seemingly insignificant tasks. I'm learning to trust that he has a perfect path for me and that he has prepared good things for me. And that he knows better than I.

Isn't it just good to be a Christian?

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 02:41:48 GMT

We were blind and lost and godless

wandering a trackless waste

when hope arose a glorious beacon

like the star the wisemen chased

down from heaven came a Savior

born a child so small and frail

taking up our pain and troubles

conquering where we had failed

("Emmanuel, Emmanuel" by Mark Altrogge from Savior)

Trust in You.

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:06:28 GMT

"An anxious person cannot pray with faith; when troubled about the world, instead of serving your Master, your thoughts are serving you. If you would 'seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness,' all things would then be added to you. You are meddling with Christ's business and neglecting your own when you fret about your lot and circumstances. You have been trying 'providing' work and forgetting that it is your job to obey. Be wise and attend to the obeying, and let Christ manage the providing. Come and survey your Father's storehouse, and ask whether He will let you starve while He has laid up so great an abundance in His garner? Look at His heart of mercy; see if that can ever prove unkind! Look at His inscrutable wisdom; see if that will ever be at fault. Above all, look up to Jesus Christ your Intercessor, and ask yourself, while He pleads, can your Father deal ungraciously with you? If He remembers even sparrows, will He forget one of the least of His poor children?"
-C.H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening (Dec 19 - Morning)

I tossed and turned into the wee hours last night. Just a few thoughts kept circulating through my mind, and all of the possibilities and permutations branching off of them, round and round and round. And I just couldn't shake it.

"Another year," I kept thinking. "Another year closer to my adult life. Where will I live? Will I be able to provide for myself? What will I do if I have an emergency? How will I pay my bills? Yes, I'm grateful for God's blessing up until now, but that will only take me so far. What if I don't get into the grad program I want to get into? Am I preparing in the right ways? Am I doing the right things to get ready for grad school? Can I really compete...?"

So I got up and turned on my lamp and started to journal. It was just me and the Lord and the tip-tip-tipping of my Macbook in the early morning. I told the Lord of my hope for success, of my fear of failure, of my uncertainty in my ability. In His everlasting grace, He reminded me that He is "not a man that He should lie, nor a son of man that He shoould change His mind" (Num 23:19) and that His plans for me are good ones, to prosper me and give me a hope and a future, (Jer 29:11) and that Jesus' sacrifice is the bedrock of my hope. My ability has nothing to do with my hope.

The Lord's comforting voice was so clear to me in those hours. He gave me such confidence that He knows what is best for me and that He will never forsake me, one of His own. He gave me certainty in His perfect, flawless plan. Confidence that He is faithfully revealing it and confidence that He will guide me always. Confidence that He will not abandon me. Ultimately, confidence in my Savior's atoning sacrifice. I have no reason to worry or fret.

It's just good to be a Christian.

Oh Lord, You care for all the earth
The flowers and the birds
You provide their daily bread
How much more You have cared for me
You met my greatest need
When Christ hung on the tree
So I know that You'll provide for me

Oh God, I trust in You
I trust in You I trust in You
In whatever I may face I will trust Your sovereign grace
I will always trust in You

-Stephen Altrogge, "You'll Provide for Me"
from In a Little While

Pray

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 20:17:50 GMT

Pray for Ian Murphy today.

The End of Semester #5

Fri, 14 Dec 2007 03:24:17 GMT

I'm done with another semester.

I know I say this often, but it flew by. Really flew by this time. Can you believe I'll have a degree after 3 more semesters?

So now it's off to Christmas celebration, plenty of time with Mom and Dad, lots of time in Scripture, time to read the John Piper, Randy Alcorn and Elisabeth Elliot I've been intending to read, and time with my dear friends here in Pittsburgh.

God has blessed me so richly by ordering my steps before me. I find comfort in his will - in knowing that he has a perfect plan, in knowing that he loves to reveal it to me, in knowing that he provides for me, in knowing that he'll never forsake his own.

I love Jesus.

Embryonic Stem Cell Research Becoming a Non-Issue?

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 18:36:07 GMT

This really excites me.

And this is a more detailed scientific description.

I think this is the beginning of the end of the embryonic stem cell debate. This is an enormous scientific victory, and I'm thrilled to be watching this breakthrough happen!

What do you think?

Simple Obedience

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 02:23:28 GMT

There are times when all of the numbers, Greek letters, graphs, diagrams and eraser pieces blur out of focus and I glimpse the grander scale. For a moment, I stop thinking about how much I don't know and how much I don't totally understand, and I realize how much I've learned this semester. I stop worrying, I stop fretting and I realize how much I love scientific thought. I lean back in my seat, breathe a little more slowly and set down my pencil.

Simple acts of obedience are glorifying to God. He is pleased when I respond to His call without delay, without grumbling and without question. He has called me to be a student here, doing exactly this. And obedience is my aim. That's all I want. No more delay, no more grumbles, no more questions, just a heart committed to walking this road as well as I can.

...and they will know that I am the Lord.

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 15:42:16 GMT

"On that day your mouth will be opened to the fugitive, and you shall speak and be no longer mute. So you will be a sign to them, and they will know that I am the Lord." - Ezekiel 24:27

Ezekiel himself was the sign. A tool. An instrument. A vessel. God's will was done in him.

The whole point of this was that people would know that God is God.

Today, Jesus, make me your tool. Let all that is me diminish until I am solely and wholly a vessel for you. And let others see You in this vessel and let them know that you are Lord. Come be the supreme King of me, and let your glory be my only aim...

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Sat, 10 Nov 2007 18:58:10 GMT

Goodness knows why we have all of our important conversations over AIM when we live - literally - feet away from each other, but Jackie and I had another online heart-to-heart last night.

It was actually a little more like me blabbing at her, with her kind responses and understanding remarks interspersed. She's such a wonderful friend, even when I just talk about myself all the time...

What I told her is that I just don't like my chemistry classes. It's not the professors or the way it's being taught, it's the material. I hate it. I don't enjoy it. One bit. And it's not just that it's hard (even though it IS hard...). It's the whole idea of it that I don't like. I don't like sitting in musty labs, using equipment that has been there since 1920. I don't like spending way too many hours on lab reports. I don't like how abstract and mathematical all of this is. I don't like the busywork. I don't like the non-social nature of it. I don't like being locked away with nothing but burets and calorimeters. And my schedule for next semester currently consists of only chemistry classes.

I don't want to complain, but I want to be self-aware. These are my honest feelings.

I know God has placed me here, and I know the world doesn't revolve around what I want, but I can't help but wonder...what on earth am I going to do after graduation??

sigh. I'm so glad that decision doesn't need to be made right now. I'm so glad God has a perfect plan which will be just the right thing for me.

And the truth is that no matter what I'm doing, my focus is still exactly the same. I'm a child of God seeking to bring Him glory, whether I'm a research chemist or a barista. I'm starting to see my occupation as more of 'just' an occupation, not something that defines me. More like tentmaking. It's all about building God's kingdom, and not at all about building my career. I can't express how much peace and contentment and satisfaction that brings. I love Jesus.

And I love living his plan - even when it's difficult - because I know that it's ultimately forming Christ in me. I wouldn't have it any other way. Really really and truly.