Hello Girls!

well i am very ashamed of dissapearing the way i did. Specially cause some nice girls there asked for me, wondering where the hell i was, and i didnt even post to say i was taking a break from here..... Till today...

Yesterday i received an email from a great xanga friend, and i realized i needed to get back to my computer and to xanga, not only because i had dissapear without saying anything, but because i achived what i achived thanxs to all the girls that support me on the way....

To all of you who know a bit about my lately story, well i guess i settled after my friend`s wedding was over... i lost a lot in little time, and i have been at that weight since then, but not in healthy way, bulimic behaviour...either purging or fasting after binging... really bad... i guess i am fucked up... i decided to quit xanga to try to be healthy. I was in a normal weight and decided to try to lose in the old fashion way.... but it didnt work out...

i am sick and thats the way i am.... i would like to go to a psycologist, but i guess i will do that after my 5 month trip.... i am leaving argentina in 20 days so there is no point in starting teraphy right now....

Anaway, i decided to return cause i felt bad and cause i wanna keep in touch with every girl that suffers this illness like me, and wants to improve herself more thatn anything, in every way its possible..... we mostly speak about body and weight, but i am sure many of us are trying to improve not only in the outside but in the inside too.... well i am starting to sound corny!!!heheheh.... the thing is that i am back!!! dont know for how long cause my access to internet in aspen will  probably be little, but i ll do my best!!!

Tomorrow i will be answering all the messages you girls left me this past time!

i hope u r all doing good and feeling good!!!

LOVEEEE!

Ella

     Hey girls!!!    

well i am happy to say i am back on track!!! i havent gained weight luckily, i am still on 124, but i have been in that weight for 2 weeks when i should have dropped 4 lbs... waste of time.... i have ate a lot... specially in dinner time, and purged almost every day in the last week .... i even discovered a new method to get rid of bread!!!hahahah what a loser...seriously i dont recommend purging to any of you, i hate it, and i will try to not do it again... its just that i have been so stressed lately... lots of exams, plus i am in charge of renting a house in the other corner of the world, for me and 8 friends...so dealing with home owners, banks and money has really made a mess of my person and a mess of my cellphone...( yeah no unlimited here!!! sucks...)....

as i said i am back on track, only one day and i can feel weight dropping, water of course, i feel it in my legs and see it on my pi!!jejeje.... though i didnt do that good today, was planning to fast, and i had 550 cals today, but is much better than other days.... i couldnt skip dinners lately...i didnt eat almost anything during day, and i binged at night...bad bad Ella...

Ok here some lyrics from a band called Peaches, i highly recomend it to all the BAD girls who read this!!! ;) ( take it as u want....)

SONG OF THE DAY

Peaches Lovertits Lyrics

"It was like this stabbing, really full feeling that I just can't describe," Flockhart said. "I asked Harrison what was happening to me and he made a joke like I looked like I was about to deliver a baby."

It turns out what Flockhart delivered wasn't a baby at all, but what the diminutive actress referred to as "fire hose-sized stool propelled with rocket grade fuel."

Despite her movie star boyfriend's explanation, Flockhart took the matter into her own hands so to speak and frantically drove herself to St. Joseph's Medical Center with the stool sample riding shotgun.

It was just horrible," Flockhart said fighting back tears as she relived the experience."I didn't know what was happening to me and I just panicked when I saw that thing in the toilet. I'm never eating holiday dinners ever again!"

While Calista Flockhart may be a Hollywood celebrity, she still shares the same fear and anxiety of eating large multi-course meals with millions of the nation's anorexics and bulimics.

"It's a shock not only to their system but their inner psyche as well," says eating disorder specialist Dr. Michael Keene. "When they suddenly go to flush the toilet and they see the 'large brown trout' sitting below them, they immediately assume they're dying.

Flockhart, like many others, promised not to take a chance this holiday season despite doctor's orders for a rigorous daily eating/excreting regimen.

"I refuse to feed her a soy turkey intravenously like she wants," Dr. Keene said. "And I don't care how famous her boyfriend is."

Flockhart replied with a dry heave and three loud belches.

THINSPO GIRLS!!!

MILLA JOVOVICH IS AWSOME!!!!

Well my dears!  thanx to all of you, and specially to those girls who gave me their support this rough day....

despite the cliche, yeah, really helped me to see advices and specially the support and the feeling that it

wasnt the end of the world...Gracias Totales!!!

Have a great day!!!

i am out of happiness... this is a small post, a HALL OF SHAME, a possible way to take out all this anger and depression i have for doing so bad

breakfast: coffe w milk and toast and bread and more bread, then i thought *uff i overdid, i already fucked up so i am gonna purge.... but before i will eat more*...so i ate...and i purged...

l: i felt like having sweets, so i bought a bag of chocolate cookies, like 500 cals, and 1/2 kg of icecream... and i ate all.... and i purged....

s: *what the fuck!! this is a crapy day, i am home alone so i can do anything...i will eat everything i have restrict*... so i made pasta, a very big plate with cheese and bread... ate it, purged it.....

s2: yougurt with strawberry jam anf vanillas....purged....

of course i couldnt purged everything i had so i am gonna have to fix it tomorrow.... today i feel tired but i havent done anything but eat and watch tv.... i need a shrink that gives me some anxiety pills or happy pills....

my self esteem right now sucks, not only cause of the food, but the feeling of not being normal, of being sick, and not having the will that others have.... not will to starve, will to be fine, to not harm myself and to have a healthy relation with food......

Ok girls!! i am back again!!! sorry i took long to post but i like to post when i ELLA-borate!!hehe.... i feel i owe it to you my faithfull friends/readers!!!... and i was sooooo occupied lately..... i just came back from an art exhibition, is the ^week of art^ here, and since i can go to school at any time i like tomorrow, i decided to spend my after midnight hours here!

ok first of all my todays number....

INTAKE: 450 cals

OUTTAKE: 560 cals

TOTAL: - 110 finally i am moving my fat ass!!!!

..... and speaking of FAT ASS TODAY`S SUBJECT, i was searching the web to find some new material to post and i google the words ^fat ass diet^, BINGO!!!!, here is the link http://www.porkjerky.com/diet.htm i TOTALLY RECOMMEND IT!!!  the charts are really good, to bad i suck in programming or i``ll post them!!

now i`ll post part of it!!! its AWSOME thinspo for girls in mantaining phase, and for all of us who are still FAT ASSES!!!

 ( MONICA LEWINSKY`S FAT ASS)

ARTICLE

Don't Get Fat In The First Place Fuckhead ™

Hello, my name is Jason Curless and I would like to tell you about how the Porkjerky.com Weight Loss Program has worked for me. Now, I am not proud of this, but look at the picture on the left at the top of this page. That was me less than 4 years ago, before the Porkjerky.com Weight Loss Program. Boy, I was more than a couple pounds over 140.

Today, though, as you can see on the right, and thanks to the Porkjerky.com Weight Loss Plan, I am still around 143 pounds. Amazing, but true. And I credit it all to the ingenius and cutting edge diet idea of not getting fat in the first place, fuckhead ™. I know it's too complicated for some and implausible for others, but for me, it works. Because of this revolutionary diet idea, I never ballooned up to a 550 pound tub of blubbering, bedridden shit which would have required me to lose 407 pounds to get to the weight that I am today. Instead of going through that agonizing and retardedly gluttonous odyssey, I chose to avoid the ordeal all together.

(......)

Every mainstream weight loss program would like you to think they are comprised of just two steps:

Step 1:	Lose The Weight
Step 2:	Keep The Weight Off

Unfortunately, they explicitly omit the integral initial step to their weight program. It's a heinous step and one that Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Richard Simmons and Krispy Kreme don't want you to know about. I call it Step 0.

Step 0:

Become A Lardfuck

That's right. Every commercial weight loss program out there actually needs you to get fat in the first place. They often won't and certainly don't like to acknowledge it, but for their programs to be succesful and applicable, you must first become a fat ass. Then they have you hooked as a human cow and primed as a cash cow.

hahaha :`D....well lets go back to my site u can check it afterwards!!;)

QUOTES

Here i have some SOUTHPARK quotes to keep us motivated of what we DONT WANNA BE!!!!

Kyle: Cartman, you have such a fat ass, that when people walk down the street they go, 'God damn, that's a big, fat ass.'
Cartman: No, they don't, you jealous weakling.
Passing Man: God damn, that's a big fat ass

Cartman: I'm not fat! I'm festivally plump!

Cartman: I'm not fat. I'm big-boned.
Stan: No, Jay Leno's chin is big-boned. You are a big, fat ass.

Cartman: I'm not fat, I just haven't grown into my body yet you skinny bitch.

Cartman: Am I to understand we will not be enjoying any side dishes with our frozen waffles?

WE ARE NOT ALONE

Ok now some info to feel better about ourself...we suffer fat, they do too!!!!

STUNNING Kate Beckinsale revealed she has "fat ass" days when she is so insecure about her looks she can't leave the house.

The Van Helsing star, 32, said: "It feels like I have somehow managed to cover up the mis-shapen strange child for an evening and fooled everybody.^"But I have days when I feel great and then I have days when my ass won't fit in my jeans and I won't leave the house.

She said: "You forget you're wearing it after a while, but other people sure don't."

THINSPO

Ok i guess i should close with some nice icons and pics to remember ourselves the true: We can be thin, we can lose weight, we can feel confident and comfortable in our own skin, as i always say is a matter of CONTROL, FOCUS AND STRENGHT, keep your goals in mind, do it in the healthy way ( better) or in the way you want ( dont over do), but always remember its totally up to YOU!!!

700 VISITORS!!!   

HOLA CHIKAS!!!!!

UUUUffff what a weekend!!! the wedding was absolutly

F-A-N-T-A-B-O-U-L-O-U-S!!!!

Great church, great friend, great dress ( her and mines ), Great place for the party, great table, great food, great music, great alcohol, great GREAT FUN!!!!!!

I ve never enjoy myself that much in a party!!! the dj was THE BOMB!! he didnt mess even with 1 theme, he was pretty expensive but worth every cent!!! and i was looking great, could be better, but i felt so good!! many comment i was thin again couldnt make me happier! plus the dress i picked was the right one, hiding defects and accent in good points!! my make-up looked great and my hair too!!!hahahaha guess my ego was high, i dont look that good!!

i managed to drink a lot and i remember everything!!! i used to have problems with alcohol, not real problems, but many times i waked up at the other day with many black outs in the middle of the night!!!....not this time i had the right amount of buzz to keep working all night long with great fun!!!i can remember EVERYTHING!!! i mixed white wine, champagne and beer i went to sleep arround 8 am!!!!heheheh crazy night!!!! as u see i havent mentioned food so far...hehehe, i guess is because i had a break on diet... friday was the civil wedding and after it we went to my friends house and had lunch there with shit loads of alcohol too!!! you know that feeling of being drunk in the middle of the day under the beautifull sun getting tanned ...hehehe that was my friday.... and i fucked up cause i told my best friend i had ana and that i purged once in a while!!! i havent told that to anybody in person!!!...what the fuck i was thinking!!?? anyway i saw her on saturday too and she didnt brought the subject plus she saw me eating....so i guess she wont give me trouble.....

so i ate on friday, i ate on saturday and i ate today  i had a friends birthday and eat many bad foods but i purged when i got home to reduce the damage.... it was a weekend of damage but i dont care, i havent REALLY fucked up in 2 months so it was my reward for losing so much!!! 22 pounds in 2 months!!! :))... i am cool with it! tomorrow i go back to healthy habits, and you know what i mean with healthy....

well i have never wrote that much about myself cause i am afraid you might get bored with my life story, i hope you dont!!!!!!, but now i will post some impersonal info and things in case you didnt like my post.... anyway i will do an experiment too so i can see how many of u read all my crap! :) if u have read so far thanx! i really appreciate it!, and when u comment me add this phrase at the end so i know u read it!!hehehe : viva la salsa y la lambada, thats all i ask!!! jajaj will be fun to see that phrase!

ok ladies now what i promised.....

Love u all!!!!

Know why you want to lose weight

You may think just shedding those extra pounds would be satisfying. Of course it would be nice to fit into smaller clothes and be able to run without getting out of breath.

But if you want to lose weight for the wrong reasons, like many others before you, there's a good chance that either your diet will fail or that you will put weight back on after your diet is over.

3 Bad reasons for wanting to lose weight:

• To make a bad relationship good
• To make someone proud of you
• To make someone like you

3 Good reasons for wanting to lose weight

• To get fit
• To avoid health problems
• To improve your self confidence

See the difference? If you want to lose weight for you, you are much more likely to be pleased with the results!

credit: http://www.1is2fat.com/diet_tips.htm

DAILY ANA THOUGHT

 "Sometimes you feel tired,feel weak. When you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up. But you gotta search within you,find that inner strengh,and just pull that shit out of you, and get that motivation to not give up, and not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face."

credit: http://www.freewebs.com/houseofana/

THINSPO