ellechantonne's Xanga

Monday, May 26, 2008

Mon, 26 May 2008 10:14:14 GMT

wow, I feel so much better.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Mon, 26 May 2008 10:13:34 GMT

So much in the last few days. Watching my class graduate. Saying goodbye to my best friend. Feeling rejected by a guy I liked. Having to gather motivation to clean, pack and move away. Finishing Sunday school, and saying bye to my teens for the next 2 months. Not being sure if I'll be able to get into Summer classes at Biola. Being depressed for no good reason at all. Unable to snap out of it. Not moving forward. Being completely useless.

I know I keep obsessing about this stupid guy, but I can't help it. I keep running over the details in my mind, and I don't know what went wrong. I can't even remember being rejected before...I think this is a first. It sucks. Now I know why people shut down. I won't, I'm not THAT devistated. And it's just one guy. But still, I have to pause, and reflect, cause it's really affecting me.
I think the worse part is he told our mutual friend he thinks I want a relationship, and he's not ready for that. My first thought is, how would he know, he never asked me. I never did anything to make him think that. I just want to casually date, I want fun. Why can't we have that? Then I think, maybe he's just saying that as an excuse. After all, if the perfect girl came along, no guy would say they weren't ready. So maybe I'm just not it. Which makes me feel even worse than my first thought did. And then I think, if only he knew how many guys I've said no to receintly. I'm far from desperate, but for some reason I don't want anyone else. But he'll never see that. However, this makes me think I might be the one playing games, because I didn't even like him that much when he was all over me. It wasn't until he hesitated and didn't call that I began to like him. Which means I'm one of those screwed up freaks that only like people they can't have. Honestly, I don't want something serious with him, I couldn't marry him, I don't even want to think about that right now. But I want to play. I want to entertain something more than just meeting some guy every night. I hate dating, so it says a lot that I want to do it with him. Usually dating is awkward and annoying. You feel weird, and the other person acts wierd, and you think "they're a loser, I never want to have to be around you again." So I never date, I avoid it at all costs. Yet somehow, I finally found someone I want to be around. Someone that surprises me, and keeps me entertained. Someone I just want to laugh with, and DO STUFF with. I ACTUALLY WAAANNT TO DATE. And you'd think, for someone like me, if I actually found someone I like enough to spend time with, I'd finally be able to. But no. The guy with the great personality, turns out to be a immature freak who scares easily and complains his lips are raw from too much kissing. I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO KISS THAT MUCH. I kept pulling away, asking for a break, but stupid guys with their stupid over-controlling hormones keep getting physical, and then blame the girl the next morning when they never got off because SOME of us have standards. And it's a damn good thing too, cause otherwise we'd have wasted our perfectly good skills AND emotions on someone who'd be out the door without ever bothering to call. Seriously, when you're kissing a girl, and then pause to tell her you want to see her every spare moment she has before she leaves for the summer, and then you wake up the next day scared she might have taken that the wrong way, and possibly want a RELATIONSHIP from you now....YOU ONLY HAVE YOURSELF TO BLAME. So, the only RATIONAL thing to do, that shows any form of maturity, is to find your balls, give her a call, and work the dumb thing out. Why can't boys get over their egos and realize for us NORMAL GIRLS, our lives don't revolve around them. We might not be so weird as to wake up the next morning after making out and immediately think about engagement rings. MAYBE WE TOO JUST WANTED TO MAKE OUT. Or just have fun.
When he said he thought we should go sky diving together, and I didn't want to, and then he finally convinced me that I would be glad I did, I DIDN'T SAY YES THINKING WE'D BE SAYING VOWS ON THE WAY DOWN. I just wanted some fun. I said yes because I liked the idea of having someone to go sky-diving with...and maybe paintball gunning. A couple beach days, trips to the shooting range, horse-back-riding, exploring, scuba diving, maybe even a movie or two. Is this scary?? Because I thought dressing up nice and paying $80 on dinner was the scary date. I thought becoming an official couple, double dating, and meeting family members were the real deal breakers.
But maybe fun, adventuresome dates are too bonding or something. Hell if I know.
But fine, be afraid of a long term relationship that you aren't be ready for because you might have to go over-seas again, and you don't think any girl will wait for you. Ironic thing is, we're both scared of serious, but you're just too freaked out to see it.
In case you're wondering, I think you're dumb, and missing out. We both know we had so much fun together. But I promise, I'm working on forgetting you. There's cute doctors everwhere I look, so it shouldn't take me too long.
I'm guessing, a month or two after I'm completely over you, you'll be ready for a relationship, and you'll finally see I'm the great kind of girl that never gets needy, or overwhelming. And then you'll have to return to the world of scary, clingy girls because you didn't have the guts to go after the fun ones.

Irony's a bitch.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Sat, 24 May 2008 07:05:27 GMT

I hid under a blanket.
I'm glad he can't see me. I wish I didn't hear what he said about me. It's not fair. How can someone want to spend every minute with you one day, and then be afraid of you the next. He's a wimp. And I hate him for it. I hate that I was over him, ready to move on, and then he came up and became all wonderful for a night. I hate the way he kept his arm around me, and my head in his lap. I hate that he's tall and muscular.
But I don't want to think about the good things that I now hate.
I love that he has no smell. I love that his head is small. I love that he's young and just a little boy. I love that deep inside, I really don't care about him. I don't even know him. And I'm done. This is bringing me closure.
I really truly only want those that want me. I'm moving onward, and I'm better for it.
So goodbye to the boy that I thought about for a minute. Stay the hell away from me.

You're right, I want more than you have to offer. You'll never make me happy. I hope you wake up soon, and realize that you were lucky I even thought about you. And I will inwardly laugh as you go back to all those girls that are half as pretty, half as smart, and half as great as me. I'll feel fine as you watch all those guys you envied fall over me, and your chance will be gone. My heart won't even fondle when you can't stop thinking about me, and call me begging to see me, and you will. But I'll have moved on.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Wed, 21 May 2008 06:04:13 GMT

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Picky

You have no problem attracting guys - and even dating a little

It's just around second or third date time where you start to see faults

If a guy isn't near perfect, you're not into him.

It's good to have standards - but yours rule almost everyone out.

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

Guys Think You're Easy to Be With... But Not Easy

You're definitely a flirt - and a good one.

But you also know that you shouldn't make a move on any cute guy who passes by.

You save your seductive moves for someone who already knows the real you.

That way, your sex appeal is just part of the whole package.

Are You An Easy Girl?

Your Independence Level: High

You are extremely self reliant and autonomous.

You are definitely into doing your own thing.

But you also wouldn't turn down help if you needed it.

You follow your own path, but you don't do so blindly.

How Independent Are You?

Your Deadly Sins

Pride: 40%

Sloth: 40%

Envy: 20%

Gluttony: 0%

Greed: 0%

Lust: 0%

Wrath: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%

You will become famous

How Sinful Are You?

You Are 74% Feminine, 26% Masculine

You are in touch with your feminine side.

Sensitive, intuitive, and caring are all words that describe you.

And you're just masculine enough to relate to both men and women.

Are You Masculine or Feminine?

You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament

Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace.

You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions.

You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected.

It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional.

You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others.

While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well.

At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything.

You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams.

You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment.

What Temperment Are You?

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)

You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.

You are creative and full of ideas.

You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.

You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.

Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.

You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.

Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.

In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.

At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.

With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.

As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.

On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

You Are 77% Vain

You're a little vain, but you also work hard for your good looks.

Just remember, everyone knows you are a total hottie. You don't have to remind them.

How Vain Are You?

Your Sensitivity Score: 70%

You are a highly sensitive person. Pretty much everything effects you.

You are tuned into the vibe around you, and someone's bad mood can bring you down.

But you also easily share in someone's joy - whether you know them or not.

Are You Extremely Sensitive?

Your Love Type: ENFJ

The Giver

In love, you give your all and feel guilty when relationships fail.

For you, sex is not seperate from love and caring.

Overall, you are humorous, giving, and motivational.

However, you tend to be over-protective and critical of your partner.

Best matches: INFP or ISFP

What's Your Love Type?

haha, I don't know:

Your Kissing Grade: A

You are truly an amazing kisser. Your kisses are extraordinarily mind blowing.

Whether you're naturally a good kisser or not, you've taken the time learn how to be the best kisser possible.

Anyone would be lucky to get a kiss from you!

How Do Your Kisses Rate?

You Are Definitely a Hot Chick

While your little black book isn't as thick as Paris Hilton's...

You get the most dates of any of your friends

You may have a few things to hide, but you do it well, and still have a five star package that attracts men -

Your looks, your charm, and your ability to tie a cherry with your tongue.

Are You A Hot Chick?

You Are a Normal Girl

You are 50% Good and 50% Bad

Sure you've pulled some bad girl stunts in your past.

But these days, you're (mostly) a good girl.

Are You a Good Girl or a Bad Girl?

You're Confident...Sometimes

You can seem confident when the occasion calls for it

But inside you may be experiencing a bit of self doubt

A little more inner confidence could take you far...

And convince others that you're as confident as you try to seem

Are You a Confident Woman?

What People Think of Your Mouth

People see you as both flirtatious and intimidating.

Your friends are secretly put off by your seductive powers.

And strangers either fear you or obsess over you - sometimes both.

No way to fight it - you're a natural vamp. Or rake.

What Does Your Mouth Say About You?

You Communicate With Your Ears

You love conversations, both as a listener and a talker.

What people say is important to you, and you're often most affected by words, not actions.

You love to hear complements from others. And when you're upset, you often talk to yourself.

Music is very important to you. It's difficult to find you without your iPod.

How Do You Communicate?

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to do more for you.

With respect to money, you spend as little as possible.

You think good luck will definitely be yours, someday.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be a little selfish. You only do what interests you.

You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you will search and search until you find your perfect match.

Who's The True You?

You'll Find a Boyfriend Within 3 Months

Maybe you need a bit more time to get over an ex

Or maybe you need a confidence boost to talk to new guys

Either way, you'll find a boyfriend in time...

As long as you keep getting out there and meeting new guys

When Will You Meet Your Next Boyfriend?

You Are A Relationship Rescuer!

You don't ruin relationships, if anything you keep them together

The key: you respect yourself and your guy. Which goes further than you might think.

You simply treat your guy how you would like to be treated... the old golden rule.

And in return, he treats you like gold - or at least tries. And how perfect is that

Do You Ruin Relationships With Men?

You Are An Attention Whore

There's no doubt about it, you'll do almost anything for attention.

You crave fame, recognition, and your own entourage of adoring friends.

And when it does feel good when you are in the spotlight, you feel pretty down when no one notices you.

You're so desperate for attention, you're likely to be well known for the wrong reasons. And it's no fun being the Paris Hilton of your social group.

You come across as: Dramatic and needy

People may wrongly think you're: Completely self centered and self absorbed

Are You An Attention Whore?

You Are 57% Fake

You realize that beauty is sometimes an illusion, and you're okay with that.

And even though you're a little fake, the real you still shines through.

Are You A Fake Girl?

Your Birthdate: October 19

You don't just believe in love at first site - you've experienced it.

You develop crushes pretty easily, but keeping your interest is another matter!

You are very prone to love - hate relationships.

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 1

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 1

You are most compatible with people born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, and 28th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are passionate, romantic, and emotional.

You put love first in your life, even though you have often been disappointed by it.

You expect to be swept of your feet, and you never expect infatuation to die out.

Underneath it all, you are scared that you aren't lovable.

Your insecurity has ruined many relationships, as you are unable to see the love that's really there.

You are secretly afraid of being alone. Confronting your insecurities is incredibly painful.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy:

Your propensity for monogamy is medium.

In general, you prefer to have only one love interest.

But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long!

There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering.

Experience Level:

Your experience level is low.

You've probably either had only one relationship..

Or all of your relationships have been very similar.

You still have a lot to learn... and a lot to try!

Dominance:

Your dominance is low.

This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced.

You know a relationship is not about getting your way.

And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom.

Cynicism:

Your cynicism is low.

You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance.

No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter.

You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate.

And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon.

Independence:

Your independence is low.

This doesn't mean you're dependent in relationships..

It does mean that you don't have any problem sharing your life.

In your opinion, the best part of being in love is being together.

The Five Variable Love Test

Hmmm... Maybe He's Interested!

He seems to be giving you mixed or muted signals

Which may mean you've been giving him the wrong messages

When he pauses to notice you, give him a little more attention.

A little encouragement may go a long way with this guy!

Is He Into You?

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Tue, 20 May 2008 09:32:04 GMT

Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Your Result
You're neither an introvert or an extrovert, you're more in between. You like spending time with people, but you need quality time by yourself as well. You prefer hanging with a few close mates than a big crowd of people. You're quite a good student at school even though you don't make much effort. Sometiems you get jealous of people because you think you're weird. You're not really that confident, but you will do crazy things if you think you're not getting enough attention.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 20:55:55 GMT

I'm different. I'm different because every day changes us. I woke up today, and finally felt joy. I never have gone back, I've never turned around. Sometimes I've lost my footing, and sometimes I've even just sat on the ground. But that doesn't mean I've erased the progress I've made. It just means I'm not the one who is faithful and perfect. I'm the one on a journey to high places. And in the desert, you're faced with things that challenge everything: who you are, and what you've become. It makes you question so many things, but there IS a purpose, and there is a point where you make it through. The most beautiful view is looking out to the desert you've come through, that you must endure no more, and looking forward to the beautiful mountains ahead you have to enjoy. The future is bright, and my hand is warm. My feet are dirty, but my heart is assured. My mind is clear, and finally I am strong. It was my weakness that softened me enough to be reborn. I rest comforted, that I'm being prepared for a journey that is long.

Jesus looked in the eyes of the man threatening his life, the man who made the call to end it and uttered these words "You have no authority that has not been given to you."
Jesus faced death and knowing man holds no power over him. God looks on with a sovereign hand. When you understand God's sovereignty over your life, than you can move forward with comfort that the corrupt people of the world will never have more power then what has been given to them.
I have been very wronged in my life, and lately my question has been, how do you recover from being wronged? I know what pain and sorrow feels like. I see it turning into bitterness and self-hate. When you cannot change those who have wronged you, you want to make them suffer as you have. When they don't, you turn to blame yourself, because it is you alone who is suffering. So you turn to see yourself as the reason for the pain and downward spiral your life has become. This only leads to depression, and a depressed person is so low, they see no hope for themselves, so they live stagnant lives. I have teetered back and forth between blaming others fully, and then blaming myself fully. One side leads to anger and bitterness, the other to depression and inner death. How can I take responsibility for my actions, and at the same time understand that I have been wronged, but God is sovereign and loved me more than anything through it all?
I see now, there are two roads to take, one is to become hard, and the other is to become soft. It is simply a decision. It is simply a choice to believe the best in God, and the best in us. It happens when we realize God created everyone, and we all bear image to Him, and there is a little Jesus in everyone, even when we cannot see it. When others hurt us, we have to see it's about their walk, not ours. However, we can use it to become closer to the one we love. We hold in our hearts Jesus' words that all power in God's, and He holds us in His hand. We hold this because in the most challenging time of Jesus' life, the truth about God's sovereignty is what He looked to.
God is sovereign because he never gives us more than we can handle, and through it all, he has created a special path, uniquely for us, that we can choose in the midst of our trials to become more like him. We must see that He has all power, and when He chooses not to intervene, and reach out to us, it is because in that time, he wants US to choose Him. I fully believe that God wants nothing more than to ravish us, shower us with goodness, and take every inch of us in daily. But like the perfect lover should, he holds back at times with yearning, so that our love and desire for Him with grow enough that we reach out to Him. He is already the perfect lover, so he has no growing to do. It is us that must nurture our love to maturity by yearning for him and living out challenges where we choose Him over anything else.
He is NOT like the rich man who takes away his wealth from us for a time so we may see how lucky we are. He is the lover who holds back, so that we may fall in love with Him, because He knows if He does not give us that chance, he is robbing us of the greatest gift in the world, dedication. He knows how wonderful it feels to want to give everything to the one you love, and our joy will only be complete when we too experience the fulfillment of that desire. The climax of the great story is after we have experienced that desire to the fullest, despite living in this world, to be able to join in the new heaven and the new earth as we fulfill that desire and become entirely our lovers with nothing held back, and live in full joy for eternity.

The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

ya oh oh no

So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the darkness If You want me to

When I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shout
Gonna look into your eyes and see you never let me down
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to you
And I will walk through the valley if you want me to

Yes, I will walk through the valley if you want me to

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 10:12:49 GMT

"Be My Escape"

I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

I’m giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging
You to be my escape.

I fought You for so long
I should have let You in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were You

So were You

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 05:01:55 GMT

I feel sick. I just watched a terrible movie. The Good Girl. I guess the reason I hated it so much is because I loved the beginning. But there were no surprises in the film. Everything you saw coming, came. Everything you thought of, but hoped it was too dreadful for someone to actually make a movie about, turned out to be the plot. I feel tricked. I went into it thinking it would be great, and it let me down. I didn't have my guard up, and the stupid film bled all over me.

So I guess now I'll have to go watch something I know will be good.

But wait, I relate. I guess in some ways the script was sort of brilliant. Because that's how it is with life. You find someone who makes life a bit exciting, and you want to give in, but you feel like you shouldn't, but then you think, well maybe if you do, the end result will actually surprise you...but it doesn't.

No, cut that, the script is crap. Nothing can be considered brilliant that anyone could write. The point of a movie is to tell a story that is different from everyday, or at least has a different take. If people wanted to have a boring, depressing story, they wouldn't need to watch it on the screen.

Not to say I don't value realism though...I do. But I also value origional thought, and inspiration. And how can we recieve either unless stimulated by something outside of ourselves?

The truth is, I hate the script for different reasons. Everything above I just wrote is crap. I hate the script, because as a girl, I want to believe that if I find someone to really hold me, everything will be OK. My life will change for the better. But that stupid director made it look to realistic.

I'm getting a little bit of why people don't want to be held, unless they know it's by the right person, because your mind plays tricks on you, letting your guard down in the arms of something you don't know...

like a bad movie, that you wish would surprise you, but it's all too predictable.

The funny thing is, people think they're origional, like directors. They think they have something special going on. They see characteristics in their story that they think people want, but maybe those things aren't even there, or maybe they're exactly what we're afraid of.

Who wants that crap? Who wants the mess in their lives?

I don't know what I'm saying. My head hurts. I think I'm sad, but can't really tell.

You know what else I don't get? How do people get drunk? Every time I drink too much, I throw up before I can get really messed up. O ...I forgot what I was going to say.

YOu want to laugh hard? Try taking peanut M&M's and crushing them between your thumb and index finger. Maybe you can, but I couldn't do it. It made me laugh uncontrollably though. Man! Even right now I can't! My fingers are weak!

I have so many thoughts flying around, it shows how random writing is. If I had chosen to start typing 7 seconds earlier, I would have been typing about fake rape, as in sexual fantasies, and how weird that is, weird as in why the hell does that sound so good? But now I don't feel like talking about that, I'm in the dawn of a new 7 seconds. And in these I'm visualizing my brain, and how outside forces interact with it to create activity that causes me to do things, or think of things, or reach new levels of awareness. How if you simulate something based on an outside interference you've had, it can cause a reaction to your body. Like when you're falling asleep and you feel like you tripped and are falling or something, and your mind causes your body to jolt. Or orgasm, which in a lowered state of awareness, can be caused by your mind alone, which is why most people use alcohol, though the truth is it takes away more than it adds.
Isn't it weird to think you'll never have a chance to know what it's like to be in anyone elses' mind but your own? But even with your own you have enough experimenting to do. Varing levels of awareness with drugs and alcohol, and best, different stimulations based on human interaction. The electricity spread from just a touch could have some affect on self-healing. What about medetation? Repeating a word until your mind feels open to outside forces, but how repressed can your mind possibly be if it brought itself into that stage? Surely your mind is powerful...but was that really my point.

Ah, yes, such a powerful, rapid moving thing must have direction. Are we not all in danger of going insane? It it really mental illness, or possibly just a level of engagement from the powerful organ we have not come to understand on that level?

I don't know what I am saying, but I feel like this post was just supposed to be about a bad movie. Maybe it's my mind that associated bad feelings with the familiarity of the content on a partly subconcious level that made me think it was bad.

Once you can learn to tap into a persons subconcious and stimulate feelings and emotions they didn't know they could have, then you have become an artist.

Yeah, I still think the movie sucks though. Stupid director...

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 06:32:19 GMT

I got roses!
and a romantic candle-lit dinner with Champagne and chocolate bavarian cream for dessert.
And it was all a surprise I walked into.
I didn't realize I had a valentine, but once it happened it felt so right...so perfect. So good to be loved by someone who will do anything to win you over.
We fell asleep cuddled up together in a blanket to a movie.
All such a perfect surprise. I didn't know I was worth all that. I didn't realize someone wanted me that bad.
And now the memories of a perfect evening tell me otherwise. From now on I'll have a new bounce in my step, and a different smile on my face. Why can't everyone's Valentine's be as perfect as mine?
Let me tell you, it was worth the wait...and now I know, it's worth waiting for.
I now feel motivated to become who I want to be...because there's a reason now.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 05:24:49 GMT

I'm so happy. :)
Today is going to be amazing, I can feel it...

PS. I love you.