elmothegeek's Xanga

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Sun, 01 Apr 2007 23:25:03 GMT

This week I'm going to try reducing stress (for myself and others) by paying more attention to my work environment. I will keep my desk tidy. I'm decorating my office with photos of friends and family.

I'm also posting visible and attainable goals for our team, and am bringing my technical book collection to work. I like goals, and I especially like the feeling of being surrounded by books. The idea that I just have to open one to learn something new and away from the mundane motivates me.

Cleaning house

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 01:57:47 GMT

I can't believe it's been nearly a year now since moving to Vancouver. Things are very different than they were a year ago, and that's a blessing.

I cleaned the kitchen, and it felt good. I enjoy mundane activities much more than I did... maybe for the respite they give from a hectic life, and maybe because I'm much less idealistic than I used to be. It feels good to have a job and pay bills and lay the foundation to one day support a family. Transforming the world is now a local, "kingdom" thing that does not require a radio show or a captive audience.

My priorities and goals have done a complete 180... and yet I feel empowered, expectant.

Most importantly, my faith feels stable, coherent, different. I am not swayed by every critical opinion I read. My theology is rooted in faith, rather than vice versa.

Enjoying life... and just had to record that somewhere. :)

A night out at the movies...on a budget?

Thu, 22 Mar 2007 03:50:33 GMT

I went to see Pan's Labyrinth tonight. The theatre forgot to turn the house lights off when the film started; we had to go ask the concession staff (the only two employees working, I swear) to turn them off.

Fortunately. they were much quicker on the draw when it came time to leave. We saw about 5 seconds of credits (the director and writer's credits only) before they abruptly ended.

Nor did they waste any time shutting the lights off at the end of the film.

At least their responsiveness trended upwards.

Soorp soorp

Sat, 30 Dec 2006 02:15:13 GMT

My choir sang the service music for an Armenian wedding today.

First, I've never seen, nor will I probably ever see again, such a beautiful wedding (and I've been to more than my share). They had an unbelievable amount of white roses and orchids throughout the church; everything was meticulously decorated; they had three priests (at least two of whom were bishops) presiding over the service.

The whole service was in Armenian save for the personal message, so it was mostly lost on me. The bit that was in English, though, was an intriguing glimpse into a Christian faith I didn't even know existed until today. (In Googling later, I found out that the Armenian Apostolic Church separated from both the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox strains over the doctrine of Christ's nature.)

A fellow singer in the choir described the priests as "unaffected" (in the sense of "free of artificiality"), and that was a perfect description for them. They came across as humble, godly people who had no need to put on religious airs. I was deeply impressed, partly because "unaffected" is the perfect word to describe the faith I aspire to. (It's also the biggest reason why I can't see myself as a clergy member in the near future, because I don't know that I could be in that position and remain authentic.)

I also learned that Armenia was the first country in the world to declare Christianity the official state religion (I wonder what Hauerwas would have to say about that), and that as of 2001 there were just over 40 000 Armenians living in Canada. (That's not a lot of people.)

The idea that people could be "culturally Christian" used to deeply bother me, as though it were an obstacle to the Gospel, but now it intrigues me. Isn't that what we believers all are striving to become -- cultural Christians, not merely believers in proposition but also in language and life?

Pros and cons of being a packrat...

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 00:50:43 GMT

Pro: Packrat C. wants to go for a run, but is not sufficiently motivated to run in the winter cold without music, and has lost his iPod earphones. Fortunately, said packrat happens to have a stash of miscellanea which happens to include a pair of Westjet headphones that happen to be iPod-compatible.

Con: Packrat C. has a messy house to clean, especially after upturning everything to find said headphones.

Walking down the aisle

Tue, 12 Dec 2006 01:15:44 GMT

My church had an altar call yesterday. It was new territory for this heady, liturgical congregation... and
a pleasant surprise.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 02:52:24 GMT

Almost done with the Myers-Briggs obsessing.. this side of me comes out every now and then.

You Are An INFP

The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

What's Your Personality Type?

That's me alright!

On another note, Fall semester (which was a non-academic semester for me) is almost over. I've done well:

Pay for Germany 2007 trip
Stash away some money for school
Meet new people
Get to know my cousin better (started!)
Start running
Do something social (salsa, IVCF)

I'm still searching for that ideal social outlet. Not being in school takes away all the clubs and volunteering opportunities I might otherwise delve into, and I haven't figured out where else to look yet.

Time to decide on a new checklist, though. I do have one goal I'm toying with: I want to start substantially ramping up my reading... and I'm thinking about starting by ploughing through the entire Oxford Introduction to English Literature. I figure it'll give me a broad survey of literature, some idea about what I enjoy, and some background for future English studies. Crazy? Probably!

My ideal partner

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 02:08:24 GMT

INFJ - The Counselor
You scored 50 I versus E, 20 N versus S, 20 F versus T, and 80 J versus P!

Your ideal romantic partner is known as the counselor. This type makes a supportive and insightful romantic partner, encouraging their mates to have dreams and work hard to make those dreams come true. Because they are so creative, they have a wealth of ideas to help them toward those goals. They need harmony so much that they are driven to resolve conflict quickly, as long as the terms don't violate their strong ethics. They feel the most appreciated when their partners admire their creativity, trust their inspirations, and respect their values. It is also vitally important that their partners be open and emotionally available - in other words, that they be willing to share themselves completely.
The group summary: idealists (NF)
The type summary: INFJ

Link: The Best Personality Type for You Test written by unpretentious2 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Authenticity and blogging

Sun, 03 Dec 2006 17:49:15 GMT

It's been two months since my last (Xanga) confession. In fact, I've distanced myself from "cyberspace" altogether over these two months, and it's been good for me. Besides the fact that I spend my work day in front of a computer anyway, the extra time has given me lots of time to think and read.

One of my realisations: the struggle for authenticity is a major part of what makes me who I am.

Here's what David Keirsey has to say about people like me (Myers-Briggs INFP, but this applies to all Idealist types):

Idealist self-confidence rests on their authenticity, their genuineness as a person, or put another way, the self-image they present allows for no facade, no mask, no pretense. To be authentic is to have integrity, inner unity, to ring true... Idealists insist on an ever higher standard of authenticity for themselves. On the other hand, if NFs somehow undercut their authenticity by being phony or false or insincere, they can be taken over by fear and self-doubt.

That desire to be authentic is complicated by my natural self-consciousness:

The problem for Idealists is that this ardent wish to be genuine at all times and everywhere...forces them, to a certain extent, into the very role-playing they want to avoid. NFs report over and over that they are subject to an inner voice which urges them to "Be real, Be authentic".... But with this other voice in their head, Idealists are inevitably caught in a dual role. Instead of the whole-hearted, authentic person they want to be, they are at once director and actor: they are on stage, and, at the same time, they are watching themselves being on stage, and prompting themselves with lines.

That definitely rings true.

Another factor that complicates my need for authenticity, though: I'm fascinated by other ideas and perspectives, and even try to take them on as my own in order to understand them better. Writing (or blogging) is one outlet in which I do this trying on of identities -- but it often leaves me feeling inauthentic or untrue, because I'm employing somebody else's words and arguments and pretending they represent how I see the world. It reminds me of my English 12 professor trying to get us to each discover our own writing voice: if I deny that you have a point of view from which I write or think from, I fall into role-playing.

All this is to say that I think I'm going to try writing again -- but this time, writing descriptively about my own sense of things, and descriptively however and whenever that sense may change. Trying to make every idea I've ever had fit together is foolish and only keeping me from the authenticity I crave.

The Word of the Lord

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 02:46:10 GMT

If it had not been the LORD who was on our side--
    let Israel now say--
If it had not been the LORD who was on our side;
    when our enemies attacked us,
then they would have swallowed us up alive;
    when their anger was kindled against us;
then the flood would have swept us away,
    the torrent would have gone over us;
then over us would have gone
    the raging waters.

Blessed be the LORD,
    who has not given us
    as prey to their teeth.
We have escaped like a bird
    from the scene of the fowlers;
the snare is broken,
    and we have escaped.

Our help is in the name of the LORD,
    who made heaven and earth.