"Noone Mourns the Wicked"

yep pretty much forgot about xanga

it's 4:45 am and i've been up since 2:30 am thinking. i was thinking about my wonderful life and how i have overcome many many obstacles. one of my obstacles was seriously being a push over. i was so bad i almost got raped because i was afraid to kick the guy out. i must say after that and being friends with mallory (thank goodness) i eventually got over it. well i thought. i some how developed a new version of a push over....you know the kind the one who'll do anything just for your attention or even be considered your friend. yeah thats the greatest kind of push over...only when your the beggie not the begger right? yep i think so........so anyway i realized this tonight and i really just have to get this off my skin, after this site is a journal right?...........

i've tried to get you to notice me. i've done everything i could for you to appreciate me and yet you see others. why i tried so hard i can't see now, but for some reason i thought you were worth it. i went out of my way for you and yet you were too selfish to consider the things i've done. i came to you with my problems begging for help, you just made them worse. i looked very highly up to you, thought you were amazing and you made me feel like the skum of the earth. i praised you and got nothing back. i complimented you and yet nothing. i would practically beg for you to at least say good job.......and nothing.  for years now i have been jumping and screaming right in front of your face and yet you see nothing. i've never been good enough in your eyes! it's okay, i see where i stand with you and i'm done. i'm not making this bigger than it is, for once i feel i'm handling this like an adult. i've been going to sunday school and everybody in the class is older than me. thats a new one cause i'm used to being one of the oldest and i guess thats where i've come to realize that there are people who actually will look at me or tell me good job even when really don't deserve it. i've met people who ARE mature and don't push over pushovers (if that makes any sense). anyways, i don't want to be that pushover any more. i see where i stand with you. you're the obviously the one at loss not me and i'm fine!

GARRISON BABY COUNT DOWN

10 DAYS LEFT!!!

PINK OR BLUE PINK OR BLUE WHAT ARE WE GONNA DUE?

(HEHE GET IT ....."DUE")

OK YES I'M WEIRD AND DEFINETLY BORED!