This post contains FEELINGS. You've been warned.

I graduated high school this week. I got my acceptance letter into the school of fine arts. I got arrested. And yet, I feel like nothing has changed. Being single has never really bothered me, until it kind of hit me... I've never had a boyfriend. I have never been in love. Never even been close.

I guess I just figured everything would fall into place at graduation... I'd get ito college, make money working, fall in love. I feel so unprepared for college. I mean, I'm no virgin, but I have a real intimacy issue. Whenever someone begins to get close to me, I freak and push them away. But, at the same time, i'm in serious need of something stable in my life. I want that passion for one single person that will make me smile everytime I think of them. I want the facebook profile picture of us at prom, or kissing. I've never even been "It's complicated with emily". Now I will begin the self-pity rant. You should probably stop here.

I mean, I don't think there's anything terribly wrong with me. I'm fairly good-looking... I bathe everyday, and i'm obsessed with oral hygiene. So it probably isn't anything like that. I am really into music and the arts... I got straight A's an made it to forensics nationals. I'm well rounded. I am nice, and witty, polite (in public). But I know how to have fun... I mean, I just got arrested, so i'm obviously not a goody two shoes. I have a love of video games, I enjoy singing. I love cars. And computers. And being outside. I'm the girl boys complain about their girlfriends to. I'm the girl that hates sappy shit. I'm trying to be everything anyone could possibly want... and I wound up being a girl no one wants.