. 
. hate macs so i just stood and looked at one hot nanyang girl and the other from ____ 
. bussed down to acjc and saw tobias leaving the compound. he tried submit DSA without his result slips 
. anyway the receptionist chased him away, 2 days left to submit!! went to the receptionist and submitted the form. should have hid my 2008 mid year results and showed my 2007 results only. from an L1R5 22 to 39? BULLSHIT
. 
. i think i can be a conductor already, it seems super easy cause you only have to wave your hands around. HEAH THE CONDUCTOR (: . wei ren screwed his trial according to him. the strings on his violin even looked rusted 
. but what do i know about playing the violin? oh and maybe the shit about the older a violin is the better it is isnt through. maggots could be infesting that wooden thing he rests against his neck for heaven's sake, it's 42 years old by the way. 
. lionel was like, THATS NOT A BEE. IT'S A FUCKING DEMON WASP FROM HELLLL!!! 
. then the bee flew in and it was like a battlefield. then the bee went through the fan and died and went back to hell. 
so that was friday's spastic shit of class 4a4.
. then she turned back and i was looking at her with my glasses and she saw me and then turned around 
. SO ANYWAY uncle vernon gave me a ride back to the island bowl, took a shower and then cabbed to Mg for drama night. 
. like such a touching moment ya'know. 
. heh i didnt wear pink anyway 
. then second nine par/bogey/par/par/bogey/par/par/par/doublebogey for a 40 and so played an 80, 9 over par 71. i should try do that when playing with friends 
. and i am almost confirmed suspension from the course after i almost hit them again on the 391M 13TH HOLE. two of the longest holes and i had to get on the green in 2 
or something. or 21? after the movie, i walked her home and then cabbed back to my house. 
You know what other class I took at Harvard? Business ethics. I don’t steal other people’s motherfucking clients. But in YOUR case, I am going to make an exception! I’m going to take everyone! Your B-level sitcom stars, your reality-TV writers. When I’m done with you you’ll be repping sideshow freaks. You need jojo the dog faced bitch boy, call Josh Winefuck. The lightweight penstealing fuckface.
Normandy
Emily: Ari, I really don’t want to get in the middle of this.
Ari: You are in the middle of this, whether you like it or not. Okay? You wanna be a hero? You want a medal, or are you a coward? (Emily walks away)
Ari: Knock off the hippie shit, strap on a helmet, and start shooting. This is Malibu, Emily, I want you to storm that beach like it’s fuckin’ Normandy!
Advice
(E wants to take up the managing business)
Ari: So you come to me for advice. I’m gonna fucking cry. All right, here’s what you do. You deal with talent the same way that you deal with women. You have to make them believe that they need you more then you need them.
Eric: He doesn’t need me that much.
Ari: Of course he doesn’t need you. You’re fucking worthless. I could get a million morons to come in here and do the job. That’s not the point.
Eric: Then what is the point, Ari?
Ari: The point is that he is an insecure fuck, like all beautiful-but-handed-everything-on-a-silver-platter people. He doesn’t trust anyone in this world but you. You’ve been born into royalty baby. You know it. Now you just gotta be thankful, and wear the crown.
Elven Feet
Ari: This kid’s got no patience. You know, in some countries they would cut of your elven feet for disrupting the master’s flow.
E: Yeah, I’ll shove my little elven foot up your ass.
Ari: You missed me didn’t you?
Do It!
E: Tom Cruise is going to play Pablo Escobar? C’mon, the guy’s not even Hispanic.
Ari: Yeah, and Hilary Swank has a vagina, but she won an Oscar pretending she has a dick. That’s what actors do. They pretend.
E: All right, I got it. So what if Cruise passes?
Ari: Then they go to Brad Pitt. He passes, they go to Keanu Reeves, and on down the list.
E: Where is Vince on that list?
Ari: He ain’t on the list.
E: Well, how do we get him on the list?
Ari Gold: You do “Aquaman,” you stupid fuck!
Home
Vince: Don’t you need to be home with your wife, Ari?
Ari: Noh… I make the god damn rules. (Pauzes) I got ’till 2..
Wednesday
Mrs. Ari (doesn’t want Ari to pick up his phone during couples therapy): I ask for one hour of a day for his undevided attention, and I can’t even have that.
Ari: You could have it if you want to live in Augorra fucking Hills, and go to group therapy. But if you want a Beverly Hills mansion and you want a country club membership, and you want 9 weeks a year in a Tuscan villa, than I’m gonna need to take a call when it comes in at noon on a motherfucking wednesday.
imahollywoodexecutivewhore.com
Ari: I want you to pass this message along to Dana. Tell her that I still have the pictures from Cancun, tell her that I’m gonna start a website. I will take a full page ad out in the L.A. Times advertising it. Tell her it will be called imahollywoodexecutivewhore.com and that no password or fee will be required. Tell her I Want A Fucking Call Back!
Only daddy!
(Mrs. Ari suggests that Ari is afraid of Terrence)
Ari: I’ll beat that old fuck and throw him in the pool.
(To his kids:) Only Daddy speaks that way!
Ari’s Agency
Ari: When I go, in no time, you will be repping nobodies, like Bill from the Apprentice. No one needs to make a decision right now. I will be starting my own agency. Two very important goals will apply. To make everyone, who is one, from the ground floor, rich! And to burn this motherfucking place to the ground.
Lloyd, are you with me? (Lloyd freezes and doesn’t say a thing).
Ari: Lloyd, what are you doing. You and me, we have a special bond. Come on, let’s go.
Lloyd: Ari, swear to me that you will never again say anything offensive to me about my race or my sexual orientation.
Ari: I can’t swear to that, but I promise I will always apologize after.
State of the Union
Ari: I just wanna have a private dinner with you and Vince as soon as possible.
E: Do discuss what? You’re freaking me out!
Ari: There’s no need to freak out. It’s all good, believe me. Just think of it as a State of the Union address for all my A-listers.
Up and Down
Ari: You emberassed me in front of my troops.
Terence: Rules are rules. (Softer) I apologize.
Ari: I appreciate that.
Terence: Now come up.
Ari: You come down.
Terence: Conference room. Neutral territory. 1:15?
Ari: Done
Fucked
Ari: You even know how fucked you are? I mean, you are so fucking fucked. I mean, I think you are the most fucked person I know. (hears the bleeping sound of a car). Shit, here comes the wife. Just pretend like it’s all good.
E: You didn’t tell your wife?
Ari: No. When the time’s right, yeah.
E: When the time is right, It’s on the cover of Variety!
Ari: She doesn’t read Variety, she reads InStyle.
First Blowjob
Ari: Big week! The kinda week that you will remember your whole life. It’s like the week that you got your first blowjob. You remember that week? I do! 9th grade!
E: Oh, one of the boys in the chess team Ari?
Ari: Oh, E, you could have never gotten this girl. Never! Beth Meraposa. Had a mouth like a Dyson Vacuum, you know, never lost suction.
Blowjob
Ari: So you know.. After the year that I’ve had, and on the most important day of my life, you think that she would ask me what I wanted!? You know, a nice blowjob perhaps. Where I could just sit back for the first time in nine months and do nothing but admire the top of her head, and *pray* that this fucking movie opens so I can stop selling off assets like we’re fucking Micheal Jackson.
Woke the Wife
Ari (answering the phone): What?
E: Looks like I woke you up this time huh Ari?
Ari: No, but you did wake my wife and kids, dickhead. Vinnie better be sitting in prison with a DUI or something, is he?
E: No..
Ari: Than what the fuck do you want, cunt muscle?
Matchbox or Hot Wheels
Ari: Where are you, sounds like you’re being fucked with a jackhammer.
E: I’m test driving a new car!
Ari: Matchbox or Hot Wheels?
Noah can build an arc
Ari (learns that Haggis needs the full 90 days to shoot Medillon): Noah can build an arc and save all of God’s creatures in 40 days, he can’t shoot a movie in 65?
Less Than Jake
Ari: It’s too late for sorries. Vince is out! Jake Gyllenhaal is in! Brokeback motherfucking Aquaman. Take that bitch! Read about it in the papers tomorrow, but pass it along to Vince, or Drama, or whoever will talk to you now.
Get Drama a Job
Ari: People, staff meeting has been cancelled. You all have one goal today: to get Vincent Chase’s brother, Johnny Chase, a job. Any job! I don’t care if it’s a porn shoot in which he is being gang raped by a gaggle of silverback apes, if there are cameras rolling, everybody wins. 10 grant for anyone that can deliver this to me, today.
Yen
Lloyd: Can I vie for the 10 grant priza also, Ari?
Ari: Sure, but you’ll get payed in Yen.
Citizen fucking Kane
Vincent: Besides the fact the L.A. Times compared me to Terrell Owens, I’m doing great.
E: You hear that, Ari?
Ari: The Eagles got rid of T.O. and look where they landed. Aquaman 2 is going to make Speed 2 look like Citizen fucking Kane.
Chatboard (20)