A final entry...

I know I haven't been on here in over a year.  Well, I just happen to have some time on my hands, so I thought I would get around to explaining my long absence and why I won't be returning to xanga-ville.

I stopped my writtings here because I wanted Erin and I tro have private places to vent.  Everyone needs to have someone or something to sound off with when they are feeling stressed.  So, I wanted Erin to have a place where she could be herself and rant and rave with the promise that I am not going to read any of her entries.  This was my idea and I think that it works out fine for both of us.  We still talk through all of the things we need to, but xanga has become the equivalent of a diary to Erin and even though I am her husband, I think it best that she is allowed to have some thoughts and feelings to herself.

So, I say goodbye to those of you who are still out there who still care what I have written.  Dolphingirl, my old friend, if you are still out there, let's not let this becaome the reason we lose touch completely.  Look me up and the adventures of Ugly and Stupid can continue.

To my wife, the medium is now fully yours.  Not that I was doing much with it lately.  Use it in good health but always be sure to talk to me about all the important stuff.

To everyone else, goodbye and take good care of the place, will ya?

Do I really want kids?

I was in the YMCA the other night waiting for my wife to come out of the locker room so that we could go to dinner.  Not far from me was the family locker room -- an area where parents can change clothes with their children who are too old to go in a locker room of the oppostie sex and too young to get ready by themselves.  I was seated at a table when I heard the voice of a girl that couldn't have been more than 4 years old.  She was singing a song that she was making up as she went, "Oh, I am in this room with daddy/'Cause we just got done swimming/And we are going to go outside/Where there are stars in the sky/'Cause that's where God put them/'Cause that's what my Sunday school teacher told me...."  It was just too cute.  I could really stand to have something like that in my life.

Do I really want kids?

I can't tell you how many times I have seen perfectly nice looking kids turn into the spawn of Satan in an instant because they can't have to toy the want.  What is worse is when I see a parent who is so frazzled by this action that they just give in to the child.  I don't want that to be me.  I don't want my kids to be a constant source of frustration.  That's not why you have kids, is it?

Do I really want kids?

I'm so glad that Erin and I seem to be on the same page on this one.  It really is the next big thing to consider in our relationship and it is something I'm sure that we both think about at least a little each day.

I like kids -- I really do!  And, I can see why they are a joy to so many people.  But, I can also see that there are a lot of people in the world who are parents who really shouldn't be and frankly I don't ever want to be one of those people. 

Do I really want kids?  I think more thought is required on that one.

Not feeling well today.  Think I had some bad pasta.

But, before I went home early from work, I did get a chance to do something today that I have been looking forward to for a while now.  I was standing at work helping some cutomers and one of the women started to flirt with me in a manner that was obvious to my nearby co-workers.  I did my best to ignore her, but she seemed determined to get my attention.  Finally, she came right out and said, "I'm single and lookin' for a man.  You wanna go out?"

It pleased me to no end to be able to flash my wedding ring at her and say, "No thanks.  I'm taken."

I have been waiting for an iron clad excuse to reject someone for a long time.  Not that I have rejected a lot of women in my day, mind you, but I love being able to say that I am married now -- particularly when I think about the woman I am married to.

I'm back!  For how long...who can say...

Actually, I just have a thought.  In fact I have been having lots of thought upon trying the knot with Erin.  I think that if I am to keep up this weblog, then I am going to turn it into a journal of my experiences as a recently married man.  I think that such a journal would be interesting to read when Erin and I are celebrating our 50th year together.

Anyway, back to my thought.  Lately, I have been asked many times how "the marriage is going".  I never know quite how to respond to this as I am not ever really sure what kind of information the person is trying to get out of me.  Do they want to hear that it has been a struggle so far?  It hasn't been -- not even remotely.  Do they want to hear gushy newlywed details so they can pretend to be disusted?  I can't imagine anyone wants details on our sex life.  Or, am I simply expected to say "fine" or "good" and have done with it.  I expect that the latter is most often the correct response, but I'm never sure.

So, that is what I am thinking about lately.  Will I have more thoughts later?  Hard to tell.  I am a guy, after all, and thoughts don't always come easy to us.  But, If I do have one or two, I will try to be better about writing them down.

I think I will add a little something here.

This is for future reference, as well as to respond to some of my past comments.  You can all rest assured that if there is something printed in my weblog that relates to Erin and I, then she and I have talked it over in depth on our own.  There is certainly nothing that we can't talk about with complete honesty.  As far as I am concerned, honest communication is the cornerstone of an effective and healthy relationship.  I would expect nothing less from my relationship with her.

Besides, I wouldn't be foolish enough to print something in my weblog that I hadn't talked over with her.  Think about how we met.  Just because we see each other daily now, it doesn't mean that we don't check these sites occasionally.

And, on a side note, I should clarify something about my last entry.  Erin does not talk constantly about her ex-boyfriends.  She only brings them up in the normal scope of a conversation and rarely when it is not pertinent to what is currently being discussed.  Just thought I should clarify that.  Thank you though to those who commented.  I'm sure if there was any miscommunication, it was on my part.