I went for my walk again today. I noticed that I tend to watch the ground under my feet.  As I walk, I tend to look at that everchanging area of ground wedged between strides.

When I turn my attention away, I find things to look at: new blooms, the river, pine trees. When my attention is attracted to something, my inclination is to cease movement and study the object of fascination. I want to register it and really know it. Something I don't feel I can do when I am moving.

The other matter that occurs when I walk is the chatter in my head. Sometimes there's nothing and I am open and receptive to the life around me. Other times I am hearing things like,"I am training to be a healthy and fit person."  Less frequently I hear some derogatory statements. I will spare us all the onslaught of those unwelcome but persistent visitors to my mind.

Happy Mother's Day.
Blessings abound 

Now that I'm recovering, I'm walking more. Which puts me smack up against the fact that I am not good at walking for the sake of walking. I appreciate the fact that I can walk now without pain- a very good thing to be celebrated and nurtured.  I walk in the evenings with Erik. He likes the two of us walking together. I'm getting so that I like it better than I used to.  

Talking with Erik on these walks is also somewhat interesting. I remarked last night as we walked that I was fat. His response? " Of course you are. You haven't moved in four years."  His tendency to exaggeration is always fun to hear. I suspect in this case he may be more right than wrong.  I haven't fenced much in the last four years. And the back issue crept up over that time. The last year was the worst of it in terms of difficulty moving and pain.

Today I put on some clothes that were a little more tailored. Just some capris and a shirt, but not as roomy as my sweats. I came to the realization that my ass is ginormous. I know the measurements from my brace fitting. Somehow, I can't seem to convert them into a meaning that motivates me to walk more. And despite the fact that my last two or three blogs have contained references to cake, I am eating better.  There's no scale in the house to measure myself with. But if I go by how I feel and the increasing distance when I walk, I can see I have improved my exercise tolerance.

One thing I know for sure, I want to move more. The desire to move is strong and for this I am grateful.  The trick is to quiet my mind while I walk so I can ignore the part of me that says walking is boring. Practice, practice, practice.

Blessings abound